I'm trying to develop a way you can apply a "safety net", so if you screw up, your chance won't fall away, but be captured by the net. This is a good way to play where you have to meet the same girls over and over, like a school party, your workplace lunches, or like me, at the countryside where mostly the same people are present at the local bar every weekend.


-- Applying the safety net

Before you go out, try to look average, but stylish and maybe classy. In cities, you need the peacock effect to separate yourself from the crowd, on a small countryside, there is little to no crowd. Most girls migt get hit on 5-10 times per evening, you're special enough just hitting on her. Looking too original maight make her recognise you easier, and make a much stronger mental image of who you are. If you look average, she might not even remember you after a few weeks.

If this is your local bar, you're doomed to find both guys and girls you already know. Exploit this. Find someone you know a little bit, or your someone friend knows. If it's not a female friend, then he has probably found some female friends of his already, no matter, make him or her introduce you.

Make a first impression that you're just some random nice guy with much confidence. Use nice lines, and shove in some flirts here and there, no negging, at least not a lot, use DHVs but don't act too arrogant. At least for the first hour(s), until you feel comfortable they are your friends. This way you are their friend, but your confidense and DHVs keeps you away from the friendzone. The safety net is applied.

The first impression is very hard to change, so even if you screw up some moves you will still be considered a good guy. This way you can start talking to the and play girls at any later time, and even if you fail then and they ignore you, you still have a good impression and may try again later.



-- Maintaining the net (after failure or long time away)

After some failed attempts, their general impression of you might change. Wait till they sit and talk together with your friend. Sit down again and be nice and confident, like when you set up the net. This gives them the feeling that you're still the nice and confident guy they met.

You might also want to make an anchor the first time you met them, that you can trigger now. For example, flip your hand every time you say something nice and innocent. Now that you're maintaining your net, trigger this anchor over and over, and their good first impression of you will slowly come back. DO NOT use this anchor while playing her, the anchor will then be combined with your douchyness if you fail. The more time you give between this and the next flirt, the more her impression of you will be reverted to the first one.



-- Not dropping the net

The safety net isnt 100% safe, and if you said something that made her mad or very uncomfortable, she might start hating you, and you loose her as a friend as well. Thereby, the net drops.

To avoid this, don't use the most risky lines. Use them when you're on a trip to the city. Generally, use lines, DHVs and negs that has a good chance of working, and won't hurt too much if you fail.

If the damage is done, it's like you throw a 1000 pound block into the net. But don't worry, it can still be saved. Apologize yourself, and say you didn't mean to be rude. Avoid talking more to her this day, and meet with her friend and maintain the net next time.


This is just a theory, it's not yet been tested. I welcome all tips, ideas and constructive critics.

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- Vidoy

You're too invested. Next her.

You'll frequently get a second chance if you're not invested in a girl/go after other girls.

Know your boundaries, and respect them.

I get wat you mean, but i'm trying to make a way you can hit on, and possibly score in a place with the same girls/sets for months, even years. I guess you need some routine for this?

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- Vidoy

No. You just don't be a bitch if they reject you. And even that's fixable after enough time of not being a bitch.

Women are VERY keen on when men are improving themselves. The safety net is self-improving and dating other girls.

Ok

So if she rejects, I can say a quick "ok nice to meet you" and leave. If I go too far, I can apologize and give them space for a time. So the rest isn't necessary since they like to see self improvment and thereby gives you new chances?

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- Vidoy

Don't apologize.

What have you done wrong?

My general recommendation (9 times out of 10) is don't apologize to a woman. They read it as weakness. Always err on the side of douchebag (I wish I followed that rule more consistently).

If they reject you, just move on, be like, "haha, ok" or whatever. Doesn't matter. Next.

Yea, ofcource i don't apologize usually, but i'd say if you go rlly wrong and say "do you do anal?" or something, and she stands there with an open mouth looking insulted, then it's the 1/10th time you should apologize, at least if you want to hit on her another evening?

EDIT: Because apologizing can prevent her from making a strong mental image of you, and anchor you to the bad feeling, no?

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- Vidoy

If you go up to loads of girls in the same venue and use some cheesy, sleezy canned over the top chat up line and get blown out every time then you're going to get a reputation as the sleezy player who all the girls will reject because of that.

Be cleverer. If you approach a woman and just have a good time, have a laugh with her, treat her as a human being, then even if she's not interested she will think you were a decent enough guy. Not only that, but everyone else in the venue has seen you having a laugh with a girl, even if you didn't pull her.

Your safety net idea is the wrong mindset. Even if you act confident, with a mindset like that you'll "smell" unconfident. By that I mean that subtle things such as your body language and the way you say things will portray that you're not fully confident - you've got this crippling worry about not embarrassing yourself. Whereas if your aim is to have fun and your whole gaming strategy is focussed around having fun and having a laugh with the girl, rather than cheesy sleezy routines aimed at getting into her pants asap, then you can be fully confident because you don't have this worry - even if the girl isn't interested (it happens) you don't come off as a creep but instead come off as a good guy who she just didn't fancy.

I've done that mistake once, and yep, i've learnt my lesson the hard way. Whenever I talk to women now, I do what you say, and stay friends until further notice (IOIs). So I guess I don't really need to do this.

I guess the safety net theory works just like a real safety net; It's only needed if you're a complete asshole. So you only need it if you are an ass, or wanna be one.

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- Vidoy