| It was late 2011.
I quasi-dated a girl (I was interested in her and spent 6 months being her friend, and also fucking her whenever she'd ask me to, without ever kissing her once - because I thought she didn't like me - I had no idea about attraction at all then). She thought I wasn't attracted to her and so she preemptively rejected me, and I took that for real rejection.
She was really fucked up in the head (huge, huge tits though), and an attention whore.
Anyway, she starts to date this other guy, and basically tells me, "There's no emotional connection, so I'm going to hang out with this other guy now." (read: you haven't expressed interest in me, and he has, so good bye).
Well I was pretty upset over that, and so I spent weeks buying her a super, super expensive present, like $140 worth, and gave it to her.
She liked it, and thought it was odd. Her mother was like, "Are you a dumbass? That boy likes you.", but by that time she was already fucking the other guy. She calls me on it. I admit I liked her.
She rejects me, but isn't 100% sure she wants to reject me. I go cold, and she tries to regain my affections.
I'm doing ok, but then I get drunk and go SUPER BETA (even moreso than I was before - and all of this was beta, obviously).
She rejects me -hard-.
I try to move on, and also to logically convince her that she's crazy (the guy she was fucking was a 36 year old man who was not very attractive who worked at Target. At the time I was a 25 year old man with a college degree and a professional job).
She starts to get bored with him - he lives with his parents, he's a natural beta (he ended up marrying some girl who was like 300 pounds), gives me another shot. I'm too nervous, get drunk and blurt out I have feelings for her after being awkward and yelling.
Crash and burn.
She's still fucking with my head and trying to keep my attention - I'm seeing her probably at least once every couple of weeks. At this time I also think there's a logical element to attraction, when basically she's just trying to tell me to man up.
Anyway, she invites me and my friend to a party.
I go, because I'm whipped.
My friend tries to foist some ugly girl on me, and I turn it down, but the ugly girl is aggressive and tries to make out with me in the first girl's bed.
This annoys the first girl, who then jumps on me and asks if I want to fuck her. Now I would have said yes, and fucked her.
First girl is obviously still a little pissed off that one of the boys she owns is getting female attention.
She bites my neck and ear in front of the guy she's dating.
Then later on, we're all drunk, in her room, and she starts blowing him.
I shit you not, she starts blowing him in front of me.
I watch, in horror, and I'm not proud of this, but I slapped her.
I want to say I walked out, and never talked to her again, but I didn't. I stayed the night.
I did basically cut her out after that. After hanging out with her on and off for almost a year, I stopped answering her calls and texts. I stopped wanting to be around her. I saw her maybe three or four more times.
Part of me wanted her back. I started googling, "how to get your girlfriend back" and "how to get a girl" and all of that sort of bullshit.
I found a few sources, including a dictionary of PUA terms (it may have been here). At some point I found this forum.
It was revolutionary for me. All the confusion, all of the fucked up situation with girls I'd had my entire life suddenly made sense.
I could date and be happy.
I want to say I gave up on wanting her immediately, but that didn't happen.
I still wanted her for another four or five months - even after she moved across the country (she tried to convince me to move with her - she liked that I could earn money - I'm so glad I didn't). But by that point I had gotten into PUA more, and was dating other girls - being sexually aggressive with other girls. I still lost a bunch of girls because I acted like a bitch, but the dam was broken. I met up with an old coworker who had also discovered PUA, and we started winging for each other constantly.
Since then, the quality and amount of girls I get is staggering. I would barely consider a girl like that a girl to fuck, let alone date.
PUA fucking changed my life.
tl;dr:
Girl I screwed around with a few times but I got super oneitis for blew a guy in front of me and it broke me enough to start googling how to get better with women.
|
CHAT