I have no problems with attracting girls, and I would consider my game to be of an incredibly high quality. I could choose to just hit up the girls all the time, but a man has to settle down and focus on his future eventually. I have been in several relationships already, and I am currently in one. However, my most recent relationship has me confused about what I look for in a woman all together.

My most recent girlfriend I considered to be right up my alley. She was the free spirited, don't give a shit, party girl I had decided that I wanted since I started to really look into who I was and what I wanted. She was exactly what I was looking for, and thus I decided it was a great idea to go into a relationship with her. However, this relationship is literally burning out faster than any one before it, and I was not really understanding why.

I do know some of the answers now, and I have taken steps to address those problems. However, there is one thought lingering in the back of my mind that I have not been able to find any answers or solutions to. I have a feeling that I am in a situation where I think I know what I want, but I am actually not aware of the kind of girl that I would fit with best. I would love to get married one day, and I would love to get married to someone who I can really sync with and spend the rest of my life with.

Here is the question in its shortest form: How do you know what kind of girl you would be the most compatible with? Can you find out through a personality test, is it a special feeling you get, or is there something more that I am missing? I would like to hear the thoughts and experiences of the forums on this.

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

The process is different for every man, but the best processes of finding this shit out is, of course, from cold, hard experience.

That being said, you might think that you have plenty of experience to go off of, but it looks like you need experience in a completely different area than you had been playing in before.

Perhaps you had this vision of your "perfect girl" in mind for a long time and you only sought women who gravitated toward the categories you were seeking. There's nothing wrong with this sort of closed-minded approach; in fact, I recommend it to a lot of guys. However, it might not be the best approach for you at the stage you're currently at.

Perhaps you've failed to give certain girls a chance because they didn't fit into your little mold. Perhaps you felt a spark of attraction for someone who was the complete opposite of what you thought you wanted, but then ignored it after you found out that she wasn't "good enough."

If what you've been doing hasn't been working, try something new. Try listening to those first inclinations and start gravitating toward new experiences. You'll find the answer faster the sooner you start diversifying. Time to hit the buffet line again, my friend.

EDIT:

It's also worth noting that, sometimes, compatibility isn't the issue. 9 times out of 10, it's a matter of maturity and it's better to grow into a relationship with someone you love instead of throwing partners away just because they don't fit perfectly into the lifestyle you've created from an immature foundation.

Holy shit, you hit my selection process dead on lol. I actually have recognized that on occasion as one of my own problems, because I do have a girl from time to time where I really wish I would have gone after instead of passing over her.

I have been active in the game for almost a year now, and you are right in that the realm of relationships is one I have not really explored yet. In fact, it is the only area of the game that I have not really covered yet as thoroughly as the other areas. Up until October, I was pretty much hitting it up with everyone to work on and improve my game. However, I was only carrying things through with a select bunch because they were within the interests that I was looking for.

Overall, you are exactly right. My selection process isn't necessarily ruining my game if all I'm looking for is to just hit up all the girls and have fun. However, it certainly is ruining my game if I'm looking for a good relationship. I'm definitely going to follow through with your words and really open up my horizons instead of being so selective. Of course I won't jump into another relationship right away, but I will surely be more liberal when it comes to carrying things through.

Thank you so much Chief, I sincerely appreciate your help on this.

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

I'm having a difficult time understanding this. I'm not sure if you're talking about staying in a relationship longer, waiting longer before entering the relationship, or what. Could you please explain this?

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

Tyler Durden said in one of his videos that when you meet a girl your vision looks like this "<" , and then when you sleep with her it suddenly turns to this "{" , it is at that point that you truly know if she is worth the trouble or not.

There is literally no way for you to be able to figure this out. Consider for a moment just how much you've changed in the last, say eight years. Consider that you are going to live through probably another SIX such periods. So too will any woman you're with. What do you suppose the odds are that you'll grow in exactly the right ways and remain perfect for each other, even if you were perfect for a period in the past?

All you really can do is find someone who is right for you, right now. You can't predict the future.

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RSDTyler

Being "liberal when it comes to carrying things through" is exactly what I started to do a few years ago when I realized that my avoidance of deep intimacy and commitment was just another comfort zone that limited my potential. I have not regretted doing so one bit, so I'm sure you'll ultimately find this path very rewarding as well.
When you begin to be deeply intimate with someone, every now and then you're going to run into something that makes you think, "This isn't right," and you'll be tempted to think that a different type of girl would be more compatible with you. Sometimes this is true, but sometimes that line of thinking does not lead you toward the best possible path for your own development as a whole and mature man. Sometimes, in the face of such challenges, you should say to yourself, "Let's see what can come out of this if I work through this with her," and, after you do so, you might learn something new about yourself and your preconceived notions of compatibility.

This is something I learned from my current relationship so far.

It's all about past and current experiences. I'd recommend you keep dating girls instead of focusing on one criteria. The problem with most guys is that they strive for something that they think is perfect for them, when it's really nothing but something they'd want temporarily.

Remember to always look for a girl that would make YOU better, support you and understand you well. I've seen tons of guys literally throwing away their lives on really hot girls who are slowly degrading their work life and causing them to do what they do not want to do. Sadly, they only do it in order to maintain the relationship, and they do everything against their will for such a thing. Don't be one of those guys.

Oh I can exactly feel your pain. Found my first GF last summer, was in love at first, but suddenly after 3 months I didn't miss her anymore, had no desire to see her anymore, even though her looks were great. What I can provide to you is:
- Looks at first matter only for a significant amount of time later on.
- Find a girl who's open minded to do stuff she hasn't done before. This means going to places unknown and doing things unknown inside and outside of the bedroom.
- Relationships give you hard times, but don't give up like I did. Perhaps it's just a phase, and if things are rough you can always tell her: "I'm not sure what it is, but I need some time to think things through about us. Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a little while and see how things are in a couple of weeks."
- Go out or have sex with a girl for AT LEAST 6 MONTHS before entering a relationship. This is the amount of time to actually get to know her well enough probably to find out if she suits your life.

^This is what I've experienced and are only guidelines I try to use.

Wallie

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The Learning Journal:
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I'll tell you about me, my current girlfriend is my ultimate "life teammate." We help each other with everything and we have similar "life goals" or a similar mission of what we both consider winning at life.

Now, this was not something I "found" right away. I fooled around and dated alot of different girls in order to find someone that special. We also didn't start "dating" right away after we first met/had sex. The way I met her was I fucked her at a Halloween party infront of about 20-25 people... Most people would not consider her to be "girlfriend material" but we kept hooking up, on and off, over the course of about 2 years. It took me some time to realize how wonderful of a "team mate" she was but I feel it's because we didn't force it or rush anything.

Keep meeting different women and eventually the time will come where you decide that you have found someone who is worth "spending your life with."