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Girls like guys that kinda don't give a shit, but that's casual dating. You telling me you have a crush on a girl and you not going to care? You never want to show a woman she can affect you emotionally that shows she has power over you. I'm telling you outcome dependence does not matter. It's about self-discipline, being rational and maintaining a strong bearing. People are going to affect you emotionally, but you can work not to show it. If you approach a hot girl chances are she will affect you, but that's where self-discipline comes in. Mind over matter.
Being sensitive doesn't mean you have low self-esteem. Settling for things you don't have to settle for show low self-esteem. Yes, behaving as if you have something to offer women does equate self-esteem. you want that vibe, but its not going to attract every woman. Otherwise every cocky guy would have a HB10. Some women want kindness, but this post is about having discretion with kindness. It all breaks down to values...
You want to act and talk as if you have value. You don't want to show you've been affected emotionally because that hurts your value. You want to be kind because that has value, but you don't want to spoil people with kindness because you value what you work for.
Some of these thibgs are just part of being human and you can't change, like outcome dependence and sensitivity. It's wrong to lie to people and tell them they can get rid of these things. It's like saying you can get rid of fear... Not possible.
Lastly, I have integrity. If i am with a girl and she has a problem I will help her as a matter of principle, but guys need to realize that they are inclined to want to help attractive women and you don't want to turn into some "Captain Save A Hoe."
You said that if you approach a hot girl, chances are that she will affect you. By affect you, what do you mean? As rejection-wise? I would give a shit less to be honest. If she turned me down badly, I'd just next her without feeling a thing.
A real man, in my opinion, should be sensitive as you said, but from the inside. Males who show their sensitivity publicly or to other girls when faced with a problem are looked down upon as weak. A woman wants a man to complain to, to cry over his shoulder, but not to share napkins with. I've expressed my sensitivity over 8 times in front of different girls and they all pushed me away, never do it. Be a rock, a ghost, or whatever you call it, unaffected. Overall, your self esteem is lowered as you express yourself in a sensitive matter.
I agree with the rest of what you said, but that is not expressing integrity, it's all about ethics and respecting other people. It's about listening to what others say and helping them out of respect, especially if they are close to you.