Hey guys....no idea what this was about.

This is a girl who last semester i partied in her room with some friends and made out with 3 outta 4 including her. She also had and is still with her boyfriend...and stupid me, i got really wasted at a party and i didn't want the night to end so i went to their room around 2-3am. Anyway.

She's on the computer and i walk in and sit on the bed and start talking to her. For some reason...this girl always acts ditzy and stupid, but i've seen some of her "notes" on facebook and she seems like she actually think...so i am somewhat intrigued why she's these two different people.

I was fucked up...but somehow ended up on the topic "i used to think you weren't very opinionated b/c you don't talk, but i can sense there's more to you than a straight face". So i'm basically trying to get into a "deep"conversation. And all i remember her saying is "you intimidate me..that's why i don't act deep with you". I probably made the mistake of repeatedly asking "....how am i intimidating?" In which she wouldn't respond. Any ideas on how i should respond to this girl from now on?

Granted i've busted on her more so then her friends...which did not produce any good results except her attempting to qualify herself a few times. This girl is nothing special ...seems pretty boring..but i just want to be capable of turning this all around. HOpefully guys can give me some shit to try. Thanks!

Well, why don't you just drop your facade around her and be your best self? Being a ''player'' isn't all there is in this world. If you know her boy isn't going to make her happy and if you can take her places, continue doing what you do best.

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I get what you're saying on toning down "cocky/funny/player" and just being a good guy. But that's a different conflict that i'm dealing with.

My question was what could she have ment by "you intimidate me".

Half of took it as an ego boost because someone who is thought of superior can only intimidate you(so admitting that my value is higher)?

But on the other hand...i don't want to belittle anyone and make them feel like a pathetic person. I'm sure at times i over negged...but i tried toto always give her the option to see my good size when she was compliant and didn't take me for someone she can toy with.

Too much is NEVER a good thing!

She could be saying "you intimidate me" because you never give her a fighting chance. . . .If you over neg her, or worse, you really do think you're a better person than her, then eventually she will lose interest in you.

She will feel intimidated or threatened by you. Every time you call, every time you see her, she will become more and more self-conscious to your presence. Inevitably, she will begin to associate those feelings with you. If your looking for anything long term (which it appears that you aren't anyway), then you're going down the wrong road!

My advice is to stop negging her. Show her a little bit of attention and perhaps you can share a personal story. Based on how you to talk about her, it seems as if you don't respect her that much. Perhaps she is smart enough to realize that and doesn't want to open up to you because she knows she will get hurt in the end.

I totally understand Jay Wa....thank you.

Trust me in my head i wanted to be nicer to her and more sincere...but for some reason i'm always thinking ...if i don't keep my value higher than her....she'll lose interest altogether and that's usually the end of that.

I've read so many times that if someone senses a glimpse of incongruence, then that's pretty much it for you. Example...you act confident/badass/ making people work for your attention..then all of a sudden becoming interested in what they say,that you don't always have crazy stories and non stop excitement. That's why i don't know how to act.