Alright, uhh some background I guess... I'm 22 in college, I've had roughly 17 kills. I'm outgoing and a pretty handsome guy. Always been single by choice and have been very happy until all the ONS's left me feeling empty and wishing I cared for someone.. Flash forward, I have my first girlfriend, we've been sleeping together a lot for about 4 months and I asked her out about a month ago. It is both of our first serious relationship.

Problem: I am a curious curious kid, I always ask her "whats the most times you've had sex in a day" or "Any embarrassing hook-up stories?" and even though I am genuinely curious, I always end up feeling a little insecure and a bit regretful for this new-found knowledge. Even though she has less sexual partners in her past, most of them even though they were not relationships were somewhat consistent fuck buddies, for example she has slept with one friend for about a year and a half but it was a FWB thing and I'm the first one she's had feelings for. Regardless of this I get rattled when I find out stories about her past and I feel that my experienced past is really not all that experienced compared to hers.

Any advice on how to handle this stuff? Obviously not asking solves the problem, but I think I'd rather know.. maybe perhaps wait longer into the relationship before finding out? She has noticed a couple times she says that I'm not thrilled to hear her answers but I tell her I appreciate her truthfulness and I prefer that.

you've been her fuck buddy for three months
most of the people she has had sex with she wasn't dating
everyone she's had sex with before you including the friend with benefits she was banging for a year she didn't attach emotions to making it a physical act like brushing her teeth.

casual sex is her M.O. and hearing her past will bring discomfort to you, if you really want this woman you'll forget about her past..

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SUNNY DAYS WOULDN'T BE SPECIAL IF IT WERENT FOR RAIN, JOY WOULDNT FEEL SO GOOD OF IT WERENT FOR PAIN, DEATH GOTTA BE EASY CUZ LIFE IS HARD, IT'LL LEAVE YOU PHYSICALLY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SCARRED

She pretty much sounds...like a skank? Unless she is making that stuff up to make you jealous and see your reaction. The best is to stop asking, cause then she will talk to her friends who will tell her that you are a man whore and don't deserve her, even though she has done the same.

That's me! Honestly, I would not ask questions you don't want answers too. I suggest you keep working on yourself and keep meeting new people. Meet new people, have hobbies, and have something going for you. It will detach you from your girlfriend and give you a bigger picture to work with. The reason I suggest these things is because the more roles you have in your life, the less the role of the boyfriend will influence your perception of yourself. It's like a coping mechanism, be a friend, brother/sister, son, worker, boyfriend, musician, etc. Get my drift? Having things going for you in your life will benefit your internal confidence and you can ask all the questions you want.

Keep on working on your inner self or inner game as the PUA community places it. The more you work on it, the more the external factors have an influence on your psyche. It really works. There is also the mindset that all girls will have partners before and after you and you should accept that. Enjoy your time with your girl, as it may be limited since you don't know if you guys will be together forever. Make the most of it. My current oneitis, I just lead the conversation to the present, and focus my mind on the present. I play with her hair and admire her beauty, because I treat my time with her as if it were going to be the last. Treat every week as if it were your last on earth. How would you think about things then? Would you be worried about dumb insecurities then? Now, this won't come overnight, but little by little you will see results.


Solution: Inner game time.

Dean A

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