My buddy and me were coming home from dinner this evening and thought, "Fuck it, lets stop in a bar and open some groups!" We head into a camus bar tonight (Wednesday) and the bar is relatively empty, except for some drunk guys singing Kereokee and a few groups of friends here and there. There were only two groups of females, sitting by themselves. I immediatly opened this group. I came in from the side, looked over my shoulder and said, "I have to ask you guys a question, but I can't stay long." Then proceded into my opener. The group had four college women. Right away, when I said this, the two furthest away from me turned towards each other and ignored me. The two closest to me gave me the feeling that they would hear me out but not interested. I asked an opinion open in my most non-needy, actually interested in their responce manner. Of the two, one began to reply but kept her body closed to her friend. So I turned towards her friend and asked her opinion, but she closed off to me even more than her other friend. So I opened the space. While I was talking, I rocked back, angled myself towards the first grl and when she spoke I told her I couldn't hear her and she leaned in to my ear to speak. I continued setting up the scene, but forgot a transition and was kind of stuck in the getting the advice zone. Then I remembered Grant Adams advice and said, "Wow, I really never thought of it like that. What else would you do?"

Long story short, the set was a crash and burn, but I can't get over this look they gave me. It was the look of being freaked out that another guy was talking to them, a guy that they didn't know. They were HB 6's at best, but I was there for practice. I want to know how to better get rid of this look in their eye that says, "Wow, you freak me out, I just want to drink my drink and talk with my friends." I swear that my body language was on key and my tone of voice was friendly, as if we've know each other for a while. I wasn't too excited and I wasn't being boring. Could this have really come down to them, or is there a way I can fix this?

Did you rock back as if you were leaving and then follow up with a question. And also keep tabs on your body language.

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Perception is Reality

I did rock back and ask her a question. But the question I wanted, I couldn't ask. I had to stay on the topic we were on because I had forgotten a transition and she hadn't given me any lee-way into anything about herself. I didn't have anything to pick up on, and had forgotten to bring something of my own. But the fact that we stayed on one topic doesn't nearly both me as much as their reaction when I approached.

I think in this case it was more to do with them.