I'm going to post a random online sarge off of myspace that happened around 230 AM.

1. Found picture and followed up with it.

Dear Monica,

I noticed that you were posing with a Bacardi Bottle! I would like to tell you bit about the mormon church....heheh. Alchohol is the devil!


2. She responds in turn trying to be as witty as me.

So the mormons are now recruiting online? I thought they just stuck with scrawny, pimpily, crackled voiced boys who ride their bikes with helments, backpacks, name tags, and The book of Jesus Christ of latter.....blah blah blah

3. I give her small credit for cheap shots and let her use her imagination.

Well why do you think I don't have a pic posted on here Ma'am?? I totally fit your description of that.....yep. Anyhow I wanted to tell you that Jesus and the aliens on the moon want you to stop your drinking and evil ways and begin your pledges to the church......how much would you like to tithe?

4. Notice how I don't even have a pic posted? She's in cali lookin like Jenifer Aniston's little sister.....I'd pee in her butt heh.

Wow, I almost sent you a tithe but then Suri (you know Tom Cruise and the chick from Dawson's Creek) sent me a message and asked me to join the Church of Scientology. I just had to take the offer up. I mean, come on, the mormons are wusses. They let those girls scream when they give birth. The Scientology chicks are the best. Get with the times!

5. So now she supposedly thinks she can game up on me. I play along.

Well it's obvious that hollywood has tried to capitalize on religion and just steal MORE of your money! I'm telling you if you go with these fads you'll burn. Did you really drink out of that bottle or was that a poser shot??

6. I challenge her and try to find out if she's a fake on the bottle.

well, I drank out of the bottle but it was just popov. I'm really considered with image so I want everyone to know that I drink high class alcohol. What I do is I steal an empty bottle of bacardi, pour my popov in there with half water, and then walk around with it. Carrying bacardi and being a scientologist has really helped me fit in.


7. I admit to her that this conversation is quite meaningless-but she's cheered me up since I can't sleep.

Listen I'm Patrick and you're totally cool. I've been random emailing people all night cause I can't sleep for shit. It's so amazing that at 2am on a monday I'm relaxed....my sleep schedule or so screwy right now. You picture looks pretty cool too, who bleaches your teeth?

8. Now you can take this as a neg or a compliment.....if a girl bleaches her teeth constantly and you know it capitalize on it....it's like a guy plucking his eyebrows or some shit. Weirdass women.

People underestimate brushing their teeth 2 times a day for cleaner and brighter teeth. I think that the Popov also takes the top yellow layer of my teeth off. It's a collaborative effort. So what's with this back problem of yours grandpa?

9. Wow, now she's reading my profile and found out I'm out of back surgery......lucky me she's not too dumb and she's in a sorority or however the hell you spell that.


Damn it's funny how random shit gets girls going. You should see the correspondance with this Romanian chick I had where I told her to quit posing her legs because they were ugly....that lasted for a long time-and was funny as hell.

now what did I do wrong?