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First off, I applaud you for the honesty on this because to me this is big just for the reason that you are saying what the real issue was for you.
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It's pretty simple actually. I was just chasing them too hard and no wonder I was then upset when they'd flake or cancel. It took a lot of work to get out of that routine, and maybe I still have some ways to go, but getting rid of the scarcity mindset has helped me tremendously. Yes, every girl is replaceable. Internalizing that has really helped me cut down on my over-chasing, and I'd say I'm getting overall better results.
What you are saying here is that the lowest common denominator in this whole problem was you, how you chased them too hard, and to me that kind of still points out that you are putting a bandaid on the issue because your post only talks about how you deal with the anger rather than saying why you reacted so angrily. And just these thoughts that you've said earlier say a lot to me:
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A cancellation means that I now get to do what I want with my Friday night, and may even have more fun!
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And you speak of such anger ("disappointment" as you call it) like guys should just be snapping their fingers in a motion across their stomach like viewing a strike-out in baseball when this happens and saying "Man!" Or going "mmmph!" And stomping on the ground once. Yeah, no men I know respond to something so disingenuous so light-heartedly.
These aren't the responses of a man that has accepted that he is the root of the problem. You cannot be angry with the woman when you are the blame. For you, a cancellation should mean, "did I push too hard again?" Do the men you know chase women too hard that cause them to have to respond to something so disingenuous? I'd be interested if you told your therapist that you chased women too hard and that's what was causing them to flake and what his response to that was.
Don't read anything that I've wrote as me taking jabs at you (well, at least this specific post).
There used to be this meme in the late 2000's where girls would put on their Facebook profiles and MySpace pages, advice to other girls to "Date like a man, so you don't get fucked like a bitch."
Usually it was hot girls commiserating with their hot friends about a guy they just started seeing, and fell head over heels for, but they were at a club over the weekend and saw him with another girl.
That was advice in my recent past that *I* could've taken to heart.
I needed to "date like a man", when I wasn't.
Instead, I was going around treating these girls as priorities, when they only treated me as an option.
CHAT
