Question:

Did you ever throw yourself in the middle of 5 girls, smoke incredible amounts of America's finest homegrown, and hope for the best?

Well, this is the kinda shit I like to do to myself. The risks are huge (getting so retarded high you can't even talk),but the pure THRILL of it all is fucking amazing. Nothing compares, it's so very intense.

OK, what the fuck am I talking about?

Well, today was April 20th. National Pot Smoker's Day. In celebration, I want you to put on an amazing song and roast one if ya got one



I'm about to tell you a story about my day....

Haha. So anyway, a facebook post started the craze.

I put up a pic:



And made the following statement:

"If you're female and you like to smoke naked, message me I'll make your dreams come true."


















++++++++++++++++QUICK ASIDE+++++++++++++++++

OK, we talk a lot about the JOURNEY, but not the destination. The positive feelings of getting laid.

You get:

1. Endorphins and love chemicals rushing into your system while you're seducing the girl.
2. Oxytocin (a feel good chemical) coursing through your (and her) veins as you start touching each other.
3. Full out seratonin and dopamine and ENDOMORPHINE mixes when you start having amazing sex. This equals FULL TIME SMILE. It's good stuff.
4. You get all those amazing pleasure channels to your hands feet and head or ass or taint or whatever if you've studied tantra at all. (Diverting sexual energy from genitals to other regions of your body.
5. You have BONDING chemicals making the two of you feel like the most important two people on earth.
6. You get those HARDCORE TESTOSTERONE chemicals that rage inside of you as you pump her and fuck her like a dirty mexican hooker ho.
7. You get the endomorphine again as you bask in the afterglow.
8. And you get to blow your load. Fucking A!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

SO here's how it went down:

At 9pm I start getting texts from this girl I was hooking up with last year, She's super cool. Super open. And I know she's seen my facebook message above. She's also waiting on my porch with her friend, and it's obvious I'm not home.

About the same time, my roommate texts me:

"Dude there are two skinny girls on the porch, are they yours?"

Haha, yeah they're mine.

"Damn dude, BOTH of them? I think I scared them away man"

Haha yea, all good man.

"Sorry"

Don't be. All good.

Let me introduce the girlies:

Tosh2.0 is the girl I WAS involved with last fall. She knows me. She knows how fun I am, and we had a lot of fun a lot of places. SHe's a model, she loves to party, and she's one of the coolest girls I've met ever. Great girl. She has her sexual fun, but she's never ever a slut about it (unless I ask her to be). Fucking awesome.



Her friend, WaBaby, is a hot 22 year old. SHe has one of the most jiggly, beautiful asses I've ever felt, and "WaBaby" is short for "What baby?" You see, she's a mom. She's a 22 yr old MOTHER with a 2 yr old daughter. I almost feel bad for her cuz this girl is a lot of fun. You will get to know both of these girls as the story continues.

So Tosh and Wababy leave my house after they find out I'm way across town. I tell them to go inside and wait for me, but they insist on leaving. They head to a bar near my place.

Now, keep in mind, I am very very high on some primo dank when all this is going down. I'm analyzing everything, AND having fun with my friends as I plan out my night.

I decide my best course of action is to ROLL WITH IT. Let the girls make the fun happen, I'll just roll with it and go with the flow. I'm way too stoned to contr4ol the interaction tonight. Let's just roll with it and have fun.

Turns out, this was the best thing I could have decided.

So instead of chillin with my friends and letting the girls sit alone at the bar for an hour while I play video games with my friends (the EASY thing to do), I decide the right thing to do is go and talk to the girls... see what's up, etc (the HARD thing to do, being baked and all).

This turns out to be a GREAT decision. Here's why

As I roll in the bar I open a 3 set of hotties. From the back one of them LOOKED like Tosh, but it wasn't. I politely moved on to find my girlies.

Wow. Both girls are looking good and Tosh is making it obvious that she's mine. Telling her gf stories about all the adventures we got into over the last year. It was a really laid back converswation, and I start to frame the girls as "naughty" and "bad girls" and "bad influences"

Toshia is laughing and qualifying herself HARDCORE. Keep in mind I didn't have anything planned, I just threw myself into a situation with girls and hoped for the best. I wasn;t thinking "OK, it's time to qualify these bitch4es"

No. It's gotta be natural and smooth, like you don;t give a fiddlers fuck what happens.

Hard thing to explain, easy thing to do. Just don't give a fuck. They're just girls. Fuck em.

So we go play some pool and I get a good look at Wababy's body: Holy fuck.

I put my hand inches from her ass as we're shooting pool and I look at Tosh for approval. She moths "go ahead" to me and I start caressing her ass and fucking up her pool shot.

I RARELY give a fuck what a girl thinks... but in this case, since me and Tosh have a history, I think it's the polite thing to do.

I get an idea. Since Wababy isn't drinking tonight, lets go back to my house to smoke some weed. It is a national holiday after all. We get a pizza and the girls hop in the whip.

I explain to Wababy that she will be driving my drunk ass around for the rest of the night, whether she wants to or not. The girls LOVE this kinda shit. Pure MALE ENERGY. They fucking CRAVE this kinda stability and confidence. Most guys and ALL girls they meet are weak fucking sheep people.

Did you ever hear Patrice Oneal explain how to keep a woman?

He says you need three things to keep a woman:

Confidence.
Funny (sense of humor)
And a blatant disregard for HER happiness in favor of your own.

I agree with him 1000%, and I've tested it. YOU must be the most important person in the relationship. Always.

So we head to my spot, sit on my bed, and I put on some party music (Bassnectar/Dr Dre/etc)

I sit by Tosh and start kissing her. The tone is very fun but the talk is very sexual. They're telling me about the threesomes they've had and I start hinting around at having one between us.

I have a rule in my house: If you smoke ANYTHING in my bedroom, you have to be topless. Now obviously this doesn't apply to guys, but I start the fun by taking off my shirt.

The girls quickly follow.

So Tosh jumps on top of me and starts making out with me while Wababy video tapes us with her phone.

It's funny, these GIRLS are the ones who want the video of us messing around, I am the one flipping out and saying "That shit better not end up on you tube. I get enough press!" Haha. This is funny to me for some reason. Totally different dynamic than most men of the world.

Wababy makes it clear that she is NOT having a threesome tonight. So I do the obvious thing to do in this situation:

I get her high as fuck and start touching her. Yelawolf will tell you: Weed makes girls horny. (Marijuana 2010 is the song).

Vibe is escalating and here's how I fuck up a threesome:

Tosh goes to the bathroom and I start kissing Wababy passionately. Fuckin A, her mood has changed lol.

So I pull out my dick and tell her to grab it, and look how beautiful it is.

She looks at me and says "You better put that away Tosh is coming right back!" pretty frnatically and surprised.

Well, she's right. Tosh walks in and I can tell she's mildly annoyed that her friend is fastening my belt.

Wababy looks at me and whispers "Wow you're really open aren't you."

I say "I guess so... isn't this normal?" as I motion towards my dick lol.

Tosh is annoyed. I can tell. She starts talking about going back to the bar and shit, and she wants to dance etc.

I tell her hold the fuck on and finish my drink. We smoke a couple cigarettes and I mentally kick myself for fucking up a good thing.

So we go back to the bar.

Now here's where things get nutty.

I can't really describe how good it feels to roll into the bar with FIVE GIRLS, having a blast, holding your hands, hanging on you etc.

Well, that's what the three of us made happen in the cue. We started talking to all the sexy girls and acting like we're in some exclusive club where every girl gets a chance to hook up with us. (a GREAT frame btw!)

I felt good because I have a girl under each arm. MY girls felt good cuz they're getting hit on by every hot girl in line. The hot girls feel good cuz they realize we're a cool fucking threesome and we're super fun and open.

I get a few phone numbers, ask the girls what they think of my girls, tell MY girls that the other girls think they're hot, and basically make it look like we're all having an orgy later at my place.

Well, that never happens. I'll skip the hours of fun and I'll tell you this:

I didn't take home 5 girls, I take home ONE girl. Wababy.

Around 1am we lose Tosh. She runs off with some dude or some chick and we never see her again (I knew our threesome was fucked up the moment she caught me with my pants down, paradoxically).

So it's me and Wababy chillin out side smoking cigarettes and it's obvious we're feeling each other. I'm playing with her jiggly ass, she's telling me all about her life, and she's making all kinds of sexual innuendo.

So I decide we should go back to mine and finish my champagne. I tell her "Look, I'm way too drunk to drive home so you need to run me to my house so I can sober up for an hour, and I'll bring you back in an hour or so... actually you can just stay at my crib if you want."

She says cool and it's obviously game time. The vibe is good. She's still talking sexually. And I'm just a force of nature when I'm alone with a girl that I want to fuck.

Here we go.

We walk in, eat some leftover pizza, and head to my room. I spark up a bowl, put on some sexy music and sit on the bed with her.

I pull her on top of me and we start making out. Awesome. She's really into it.

I reach down and press lightly on her pants where her clit would be, and I start gently rubbing her VERY WARM pussy.

She's moaning, and she tells me that she loves having sex when she's not drinking.

I slip her pants down to her thighs.

Hand on pussy, more making out.

I slowly and deliberately take my time finding her clit and start the slow circles.

She's getting wild dude. Moaning like she's coming right fucking now. Kissing me harder and harder, and loving every second of it.

I swirl her clit a bit harder, and I FEEL it start to grow like a dick would. I tell her to stand up, arms up, and I pull off her top....

Lay back down.

Now I do my new sex move that absolutely ROCKS (if you have big hands).

I mean, there's a reason girls come over my house to get FINGERED. I got this move I call the "Hedgemaster" and it's fucking slick:

Two in the pink, one in the stink, thumb on the clit, of the SAME HAND.

It's devastating fellas. After 20 solid minutes of cumming, Wababy says "Wow, that never happened before!"

WHat's that?

"I came 4 times before you even tried to fuck me. Tosh told me you were good but I am really impressed."

Why thank you.

I stand up take off my pants, and say

"Do you think you could give a guy head for two hours straight and love it the whole time? "

She laughs and says she could but she wouldn't want to.

I laugh and say "Cool, I ask every girl that question. The one that says yeah is a keeper! I'm still looking for her"

She laughs and starts blowing me. Damn this girl is good. Someone taught her well. Perfect pressure, swirling her hands, rubbing the rest of my body while she sucks... and sucks... and sucks.

I decide I'm going to see how long she can suck my dick.

I encourage her with my moans, keep switching positions, keep asking her to try different techniques, etc. She blows me for about 10 minutes and I ventually sit her up and say "Nice job, but I'm not gonna come like that"

I strip down. She strips down, and I start rubbing my dick on the entrance of her beautiful pussy.

You would NOT know this girl had a baby. Not at all. Her pussy was tight, pretty, and there were no visible clues as to childbirth. But then again it was dark and I was extremely under the influence lol. So it might have been all beat up.

I go raw dog at first, cuz I'm fucking nuts, and DAMN it feels good sliding in. She's already screaming again in orgasmic bliss, after like 2 pumps. This girl is SENSITIVE, and I ask her about it.

She says she rarely has sex sober, but when she does it's fucking incredible. I say "I know what you mean" and start fucking her all over my bedroom.

She's fucking screaming "OH MY GOOOOD! I LOVE YOUR DICK" and I'm laughing cuz I know my roomates are hearing ALL of this. I'm saying all kinds of fucked up shit like "MMM YOU LOVE THAT DICK DON'T YOU, YOU WOULD TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU IF YOU COULD." and other funny dirty talk.

Fucking INCREDIBLE lovemaking session. Haha. More like POWERFUCK.

All those deadlifts and squats have really been paying off lately. I have incredible stamina (which she later commented on), incredible energy, and SHEER FUCKING MALE POWER.

I fucked this girls HARD dude. Beat her head of the wall a few times and she kept getting wilder and wilder. We fucked up my bed, ripped the blinds off the wall, and spilled lube all over the place. It was a wild fucking night.

BUt anyway, we finish up, I drive her back to her car, and tell her I'm down for some fun anytime. She thanks me for an amazing night and we part ways.

The End.


I may add more to this as I have time but right now, I don't. Gotta go record some songs and have some fun. Talk soon!