Seeeexyy daygame mofo's!!
Waddup!!
This one a couple of months old but it still has value and there are lessons you may learn from.. Let me know!
Enjoy
- - -
Holy fuck - last night was aweeeeesommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!
Here’s a pic of my latest victim
Basically a few days ago, I spoke this cripple girl limping through Covent Garden on some big ass crutches. I’d written this in my personal blog but not posted it:
It has said
“Ohhhhh did I write about the cool ass girl I literally picked up and carried to the tube station the other day? Well I’m seeing her tomorrow, she’s comin over for salad. I’ve never had cripple sex before. That’s gonna be hot. Not just because she can’t run away. But mainly for that reason. Hehe. “
So, she was on crutches – turns out she’s broken her angle/foot skateboarding! My opener was “Sheeet, you got fucked up! Alright, come on – piggy back ride!!”
She’s like “oh I dunno….errrr”
I’m like “get on, woman!! Let’s go!!”
So she hops on my back, and I carry her to the tube station.
As I got up to the tube station (she’s yelling “go horsie goo!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!” and I’m yelling BWAAAAAAAAAAA!) … I catch the eye of this hottie standing there by the station. She didn’t say anything, but her look was so clear. She wanted to be that girl on my back… it was ENVY! Later I thought to myself – that’s what it’s all about. Just be fucking awesome, and the girls will be pulled to you like a paedo to a candy shop. BOOM!!
Anywho we vibe for a few minutes. Maybe…. 5 or 6? I ask her how many boyfriend’s she’s got (standard)… she says zero. I’m like “what the fuck? You seem fuuuuun! What are you retarded??” She’s like “yea, nah, nuthin” …
I’m like “well shit, we got to hang out yo!” and she’s up for that. We swap numbers, I give her a hug and I’m on my way.
Few hours later I call her. I’m fun, and I just joke around with her for around 10 minutes. I don’t’ remember what I said, I just remember she was laughing a lot – and that I’d made several references to “Cripple sex” which she found funny. This is good and something I do quite a bit. I’ll joke around about having inappropriate sex with a girl – bum sex – or shoving it in their ear or some shit. So it’s just goofy fun. But, I’m still talking about fuckin’em. So they know what’s going on. Deep down. They know. It sets up a sexual frame, even if you’re jokingly talking about sex.
Yesterday I met up with her again. I told her to meet me at the tube station at 8. Earlier, I’d popped into this poetry café to see what was up – and I got an idea. I signed up, then went home and wrote up this quick poem.
I met her at the tube, and was like “jump on byatch!!” I carry her for a bit before she decides she wants to walk. Apparently I make lousy camel. I tell her we have to hurry or we’ll miss it……. I tell her she’s in for a surprise! (She has nooooooo idea!) hehe
(Do you see where this is going?)
So we get to the café and the poetry show is well under way. Everyone sees her coming in, as she’s got to hop down the stairs to get to the bottom while I carry her crutches. We grab some seats in the back .At the end of the first half I reveal to her I’m going to do my first poem (ever) tonight.
In the second half, they call my name. I’m like “here goes!”
I crack a couple of jokes with the audience, and then read the following.
“Hey this is called, my possible future special girl”
i see her, struggling thru covent garden
She likes bling, and teenage mutant ninja turles - apparently
she's crippled
not psychologically (i don't think)
not emotionally (i hope not, anyways)
only physically. she's broke her leg, you see...
she moves with determination
like a obeese american towards a mobile ice cream truck in the summer
steel beams of sunlight streaming from her arms
magically she bends me to her will
"want a lift?" i ask
she hops aboard and i run like a wild stallion
but only to the tube station
it goes well on the telephone
and she's here
in the back row
i think she likes me
she really should, i carried her all the way here
she's heavier than she looks
I've never had crippled sex before
Funniest line (according to the audience) was “she’s heavier than she looks”
Go figure, I thought the cripple sex line would get the big laugh
Anyways, she loves it, obviously. After the show we go upstairs and I think it’s a good idea to chill in the café and get a drink, before we go to mine. We barely know each other, after all. She gets a beer, I get a tea. She’s like “fucking tea??” and I’m like “yea fucking tea!” … She only has a card and there’s a 5 quid minimum. I say “look, let’s flip for it!” … she picks tails and it’s tails, so I pay.
By the way this is an awesome way to deal with the paying issue. You just say “let’s flip for it” which is fun. Half the time you pay, half the time she’ll pay. It’s all good and it’s never awkward at all. If you’re a real cunt, you can get a 2 sided coin, haha. Shit I’ve been doing the flippy thing the last 4 times and lost EVERY TIME!! Unreal!! Girls ALWAYS pick heads, and it ALWAYS lands on heads. Not she picked tails and I was like “HAA SUCKER!!!” and it’s tails. Unreal.
Has anyone noticed it’s always heads??? WTF is going on – that’s mathematically impossible!!!
Anyways: Of course, the question game ensues. She asks a couple of lame ones, but I make fun of her for it and she gets better. THIS CHICK IS COOL – the question I asked that got me really interested in her was “name the 5 things you love the most in people, and (sub question) the 5 things you hate the most about ‘em
This made it clear our values were the same , so it was easy to connect on. Ya dig?
It was going ok at first, then better and better. Eventually café is closing and we head to mine. (having my awesome salad there was the original plan anyways)
I didn’t do anything fancy on text… just basic stuff and arranging to meet up. I gave her the option of coming to mine by saying “I’ve been planning on making my awesome salad, we could devour that” but also said “I can come to your hood if you don’t wanna hobble across town” but she said she preferred coming over to mine. This is a good indicator that it’s ON!
Ah- The place I’m staying is like 4 flights of stairs up, and there’s no elevator. I offer to carry her. She’s like “nah, I can make it”
“I’ll carry you”
“Nah, I can do it”
“Nah, seriously, I’ll carry you”
“No, I’ll be ok”
“….”
“….”
“Listen… let’s be honest… you know, and I know, you want me to carry you….”
“yea ok…”
Hahaha
I carry her up the 4 flights. IT was hard, but not that hard. A little hard. Of course I made a huge show of it – and collapsed in front of the door. I knocked on the door while laying down for comedic affect. My SPAM opens up, looks down at me. I wave. I point and say “she’s heavier than she looks!” (hey it worked once….!)
Anyways, I made us some food and we all hung out a bit in the lounge. Then, I took her in the other room and we talked shit. We were kissing a bit, then talking and just doing that for about an hour… I made 100% it was all good, and then we just took our clothes off and that was that. I got me some nice head….. she’s a fast learner. I actually said to her “you’re a fast learner” and she laughed and told me to stop being funny. I was like “that wasn’t a joke!” …. I worked her with my fingers quite a bit. There wasn’t that much actual fucking. I got a bit excited early, had an internal orgasm early on and took a break… later on when I tried it on again she was literally falling asleep. Was fun though She liked my fingers but I didn’t get her to cilmax ………. Ah well. Next time.
Strange, she didn’t really seem to be that horny. And she wasn’t very wet at all. My regular girl is just wet as fuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk…….. so it was a bit….different. It was a great night overall….. this will sound fruity – but I was just loving chilling with this girl….. the sex was just a bonus!
What a cool chic tho… seriously. Sooooo hot!! Arghhhhh…… I got some hot pics too.
Anyways – you know how sometimes there’s a moral at the end of the story?
Well, there isn’t one here. Well, be awesome – and get laid. Maybe that’s it. Really I was just being myself – she liked me – and she was up for a good time. Easy peasy. Some girls really are just “up for it!”
Here's a cute ass vid of her limpin away in the morning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOECfhgTMuk
I FUCKED A CRIPPLE!!!
Alright, not a proper one. But it’s close enough. Don’t take this away from me!
Have YOU made sweet love to a cripple? No. Fuck you then.
Player haters
Sasha.
CHAT
