Last weekend my girlfriend and i were alone together for the longest time since we have started dating. After going down on me for a while (which felt fantastic) she started giving me a handjob. Now for some reason i couldnt come, it felt really good when she gave me head, but i just couldnt come. In the end (rather embarrassingly) i had to bring myself really close and let her just push me over the edge.

I thought a solution would be to not masturbate a few days before i saw her. Last night she had a big party and we were alone, and even though i had made her come a couple of times, i still couldnt come myself. I had to bring myself close again and then let her finish me off. This time i properly exploded, so i know its not that ive been wanking too much or anything like that.

Any advice as to how i can solve this? So you know the reason we havnt had sex is that we are both 17, and she is still a virgin.

_________________
Only 3.3 billion more to go...

Not really sure how this is a lay report, but I had this same problem with my first girlfriend.

We were 14 and I could pleasure her but when she gave me a handjob it felt like shit. In fact she'd only try harder which hurt my dick haha. I even had scab marks where the skin would come off! She seemed to think scraping it harder would make it work beter.

Then she started giving me blow jobs, which felt great but couldn't jack me off. I only ever cummed once when she was giving me jobs, and that took like 30 mins non-stop. AND we had a 21 month relationship.

I had absolutely no trouble cumming when I had sex for the first time with her when we were 15 though.

Thing is mate, you are conditioned to jack off to a particular type of stimulus, the way you jack yourself off. And girls don't understand guys, let alone YOUR rhythm and preferred way. So she won't be able to jack you off for a long time, until you have 'unlearned' jacking off to a specific method.

Basically just give yourself time. Also, you probably have some inhibitions. Like the whole time I was often feeling a little awkward because she couldn't jack me off, she was hurting my dick (LOL), and because I have past issues with rape, when she gave me BJ's i felt guilty that she was doing so. These mental blocks subconsciously prevented me from being able to feel pleasure.

The solution - first, understand that it's not a "problem" as such. I didn't particularly care that much, in fact i found it funny. Just relax and know that will happen at some point. The one time I cummed during handjob was a while after we had sex.

A proper specific solution though, is to LET YOURSELF feel pleasure. If she is giving you a handjob, don't just sit there like a lemon and let her make your dick sore. Give yourself permission to not feel embarassed and go for it too; move yourself to your normal/natural rhythm and move/direct her hand to make it better for you. Tell her softer or harder. Give yourself permission to let her do it for longer without feeling guilty. Make her do it how you like it, and you can also move yourself to make it better, if that makes sense. Then she will catch on and understand your rhythm. That's what helped me.

Hope that helps.