| Hey guys! I just wanted to give you my story in writing so that it may help you all. I'll try to make it as basic as possible while keeping the important stuff.
Background:
Day 1: I met this woman on okCupid. I opened her with "hey! How's it going?". She responded. We playfully bantered and I got her number asap. I called her immediately, small talked her, and invited her to meet me same day. We meet at a bar by her house and get drinks and a small bite to eat, I display value my usual way. I suggest we go for a walk through town as it is a beautiful night and I know walking through the city with her will help build comfort and rapport. We end up in the park, sitting on a bench, watching couples dance to classical music. It is romantic by all standards. She asks me the oldest woman I have been with and instead of answering her I kiss her. We leave the park and I invite her back to my place to watch a movie. She declines because she has things to do early in the morning, but invites me to go to the botanical gardens with her in the evening. I accept.
Day 2: We never made it to the botanical gardens. It has been 10 days since I saw her and 2 canceled dates. We find time to meet up on a wednesday night. I take her to a local jazz club that is voted best in nation or something. I begin all over again, building comfort, showing her I understand her, building kino, escalating conversation. We both feel attraction. I can tell she is into me. She is letting me touch her upper legs, she is opening up to me, she is looking at my eyes, she is letting me touch her hair and cheek, she is asking me personal questions, she is into me. We go on to all about our goals and passions. I tell her how after I graduate I plan to travel, possibly for a couple of years. We ask for the bill. When it comes, I say "you are awesome, but i'm not paying for you". We pay our own bill and I walk her to the car. I lean in to kiss her and she gives me a small peck on the cheek. I say, "alright, goodnight" and turn away. I'm confused at this point. I knew we had chemistry and she was into me, but the peck on the cheek says otherwise. I get home and plug my drained phone in to get a text message that says in summary "I like you enough to know I will be hurt when you graduate and being traveling the world. We should just be friends." I take this to mean 1 of two things. She isn't interested, or she is interested and is being irrational. I reply, in summary "i can't force you to be with me and I wouldn't want to. I could never just be your friend." she writes back and I ignore it until the following morning. I take this opportunity to open up a little and show her I am emotionally mature enough to convey my feelings. I say, "what you said yesterday really upset me. I want to keep seeing you romantically, and I think you should consider the way I feel before you make a decision. Is it something you are willing to talk about?" She replies that it is something she is willing to talk about, and she doesn't want to just be a placeholder until I move. She then ivites me to her birthday cookout, in which I will meet all her close friends.
Day 3: Today is the cookout. I know that I will be meeting all of her friends as well as some people she doesn't even know. She had told me before that the last guy she dated didn't get along with her friends. Specifically, she invited him out with them, and he spent the night sulking in the corner because he didn't know anyone and didn't know how to talk to anyone but her. I realize that I have to set myself apart from this guy to not only her, but her friends. I will not be a nipple on her chest, I will be my own likable independant man. I pick up a 6 pack, and her and 2 of her close friends pick me up at my place. To break the ice, and show them i'm a normal guy who can have conversation, I use an opinion opener on the group. "Let me ask you all something, and then I will explain why I ask. How do you feel about catcalls?" they explain they don't like them and then I explain how I got catcalled twice right before they picked me up. This leads us into natural conversation in which I am part of the group. My girl is acting kind of distant, but I think she is nervous about me meeting her friends, plus she is driving. I touch her on the shoulder (to initiate humanly kino) and say it is good to see her. She says she is happy I came. In the car is two girls and two guys. We show up to the party and I make it my goal to befriend some of the guys. Me and my girl talk and sit together a little and split ways. I find myself shooting the shit with a couple of bros who are actually pretty cool. I make sure she sees this, as I described the failure of the guy before me earlier. Later, in bed, she tells me she was really turned on by my ability to talk to anyone, showing independence from her. The party dies down and I find myself sitting with her, holding hands. She goes to the restroom and I take this moment to go to the kitchen, which I know she has to pass by on her way back to the group. When she comes by, i tell her "come here". I grab her hand and start kissing her. I grab her ass and she sucks my lip. We go back to the group. At this point we decide to go to a bar. I drive her car to her house, and we meet the group at the bar. The whole time walking we are holding arms and hands. She likes me. I like her. At the bar, I approach an older woman of about 35 years of age with "hey, how's it going?" she says she is good. I ask, "are you here with anyone?" She points at her husband of ten years. I smile and say "it's a good thing I asked." she smiles and I leave. At this point, the other guy i'm with tells me that my girl wants to sleep with me. In fact, she was telling all her friends that we were going to have sex after we leave. I try to act humble and say "i've been known to fuck things up even when it is garunteed". He explains she has only slept with 1 guy in a year so be gentle. We leave the bar, say goodnight to everyone and walk to her place. On the way there she asks "are you ready to see my place." as in "are you ready to fuck?" I say yeah, that i've seen pictures and I have a a friend who lives in the same building so I know it is beautiful.
the lay: We go inside. She shows me around. She brushes her teeth and washes her face. She is wearing tight little booty shorts that get my dick hard. This girl is hot. She takes me into her room and takes her shorts off and gets in bed. I take my pants and shirt off and get in with her. We begin kissing. I touch her chest, I put my hand in her underwear. She starts stroking me. I get a condom and we become 1. It hurts her after about 10 minutes so we stop. We talk about us, about how it would work if I moved away. I ask her if she would consider visiting me, if we were still together after I graduate. She says yes. I tell her that if things kept going so well between us I would expect to keep seeing her no matter where I was in the world. She explained that she doesn't want to get hurt. I tell her life is strange sometimes, but I want her in it for however little or long I might have her. I begin kissing her neck and sucking her ear. We make love again with out the condom. This time is so much better. We talk about that after and laugh about it. I still didn't come this time around either because it starts to hurt her. She tries to explain she hasn't been with a guy in a long time and that she finds it hard to trust men enough to have them over and especially to sleep with them. I tell her it is ok, our night was perfect and I wouldn't change anything. She falls asleep wrapped around me. I am happy. This isn't just sex, this is a meaningful relationship. This is one of those rare moment in life that you connect with someone beyond sex. I know the road ahead is uncharted and dangerous, but I am happy to share the path with her.
In closing, I remained persistent. I was myself, and she connected with it. I escalated sexually, even though she turned me down twice. By the third time we met up, she knew she was ready and lead me to her house. The obstacles I had to overcome were 1) talking a girl I met online in to meeting me 2) making time to meet 3) not giving up or getting frustrated when we didn't sleep together on day one or two 3) being successful where the last guy failed, in this case showing I can go to a party and have a good time without being stuck to her nipple the whole night. I probably had to overcome more obstacles than this, but this is all I can think of now.
In the future, I see her and I finding time to see each other even though we have busy schedules. There is a small percent chance that she had sex with me and is over me, but I have a feeling this will continue to grow. My goal is to slowly help our busy lives converge. I will take it slowly, assume an exclusive relationship meaning I won't have the "boyfriend girlfriend talk" but just assume we are together. I will keep seeing her when possible and definitely keep making love to her.
Any comments, thought, suggestions are appreciated.
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CHAT