G'day,

Let me just start by saying I'm properly broken, at 2am the other night while tears were streaming down my face I hydroplaned my car at 200km/h, went through a fence and somehow should be dead right now but for whatever reason I'm still here.

I'm Nathan, 28 and used to be an average every day normal nice guy, I turned myself into a “player” because I was never successful with women, now I'm a manipulative asshole and hate myself, but hey… I know how to read women’s body language now…

I read this little book three years ago, I'm sure you're all familiar with it, The Game.


1) Juliana - 28 – Doctor.
2) Anna - 39 - Flight attendant.
3) Lauren - 27 - Paint Technician.
4) Katie - 23 - Accountant.
5) Nicole - 32 - Rally car driver and Pharmacist.
6) Leah - 26 - Psychologist and law enforcement.
7) Cait - 24 – Haematologist.

It hurts like hell, it doesn’t feel good at all. Every single girl I’ve dated or slept with are going round and round in my head at the moment. What the fuck have I done???

I started to love the feeling of the chase, slowly escalating to more attractive and intelligent girls as I progressed.

The first one broke me good, I fell for her like you wouldn't believe, she was the love of my life and ever since then I've been trying to chace that feeling but can't find it. It was only a two year relationship, the rest have followed for the past 11 months. But I still feel VERY broken by the first.

I’d consider myself quite emotionally strong, if I’ve only been with 7-8 girls in the last three years (with six of them being in the last 11 months), how the hell do you guys, the ones that sleep with far more women then I do deal with this?

I can’t get rid of these feelings, it’s why I’m here posting this now. Anyone help? Because I’m about to just give up.

Lost most of my friends and don't know what to do with life.

In my opinion you feel sorry for what you've done, for the person you are now, I mean... you truly hate yourself.

I think the best choice would be noticing anywhere where you've been bad, manipulative etc. in your past and saying sorry or doing something that would balance it off, something nice and decent, truly from your heart.

Here's a note for you, you don't have to be a jerk, you don't have to manipulate, you have to do what YOU want to, not what you THINK you might want to.
Let go of your thoughts, stop rationalizing anything and just do whatever you think you'd feel good with.

Alpha's aren't jerks, they love people, they have a soul, they just don't let themselves be picked on, they CONTROL everything in their lives, whatever their niceness is it comes from the HEART not from a NEED (you can let people know that and everyone will love you way more.)

Action plan:
Return to your friends, the ex's you've hurt etc. as a person that's sorry for his actions and just wants to make everything right. Make sure no-one controls your actions and just do what you think everyone will love, like really, deeply inside, love.

I KNOW it might hurt for some time, you just HAVE TO push yourself away from the negative attitude you have right now, PUSH YOURSELF TO BE LOVABLE, DOMINANT AND CARING, SOMEONE THAT KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH HIS LIFE.

Also, read a few books about improving yourself, alpha men, nice guys, men problems etc. they WILL help you.

_________________
LIFE IS A FUNNY MOTHARFUCKUR. ;3

Take this moment as a learning experience to become a better person. You know now how to attract and seduce women with confidence, which is a skill most guys don't possess. Congratulations! That area of your life is much more developed but you need to work in your inner confidence.

Realize what you did wrong, think really hard who you want to be, and then work on not making those mistakes again. Don't apologize, try to make it up to people when you can, and move on.

I think that if you get your inner game handled, you will automatically be even better than women. Think about how hard it was for you to start doing this when you started and then you began to chip at it and chip at it and then you became good. Try to do the same process but in this case is becoming the person who you are meant to be (ie. not an asshole).


And you want to have a girlfriend or just continue to having multiple girls to be with at the same time without a guilty conscience? How about just doing it but without lying to them and (if you feel they will want to start pursuing a relationship) being honest about their intention.


You shouldn't feel bad if the two of you have different expectations, and if you are honest about it from the get-go then you aren't manipulating anyone (in fact you probably made their lives a little more interesting). If they aren't ok with it, then define your limits and move on to the next girl.


Btw, are you doing canned game or just natural?

I understand how you feel. I think most people come into PUA with some baggage. How could someone not have baggage after being disliked, alienated, even reviled by women their whole life? How could it not throw your head out of whack when suddenly thats not true anymore!

Its time for some introspection.

I agree that you should reconnect with the people who matter to you. Take a deep breath. You're not a bad person. Those women chose to sleep with you. YOU didn't make the rules, this isn't even your game. This is natures game, this is womans game. We are just trying to learn the skill set that allows us to play.

Figure out what you want from PUA, and more importantly WHY. Why is really important. Its easy to know you want women, but do you seek them for fun, sexual exploration, validation, relationships, love? All of the above? Introspect and be brutally honest with yourself. Being honest with yourself is the first step in establishing a completely honest relationship with the world. Then you're not manipulating anyone, though others will still manipulate themselves. You can still tell a woman "I just want to have fun" and she wants a relationship a week later. But you can't help that.

Sometimes in PUA we lose ourselves, lose sight of who we are. Of our ethics, our morals, our values. Being a PUA doesn't mean we *have* to sleep with 100 women, it just enables us to interact better with the women we are truly interested in for whatever our reasons are for interacting with them. Determine your morals, your ethics, your personal boundaries, and what you want. Determine this as strongly as you possibly can. If you hold that as your core and the place from which you interact with the world you will have a solid foundation under your feet, and a great place from which to develop.

Also recognize that driving that fast is suicidal. Self hatred doesn't go away because you sleep with girls, it goes away because you learn to accept and love who you are. External validation will NEVER fully repair us. Its merely a temporary patch, something to hold us over for awhile. If you cannot introspect and determine the causes of this problem for yourself, and if you don't have friends who will understand and give you good advice, think about seeking a therapist. They can offer insightful advice that we may not have thought of before because thats what they do for a living. Its not AFC to ask for help when you need it, its just smart, wise even, which is an Alpha trait in my opinion.

I wish you the best of luck in all your journeys!