Re-post from my home forum:
The Backstory: I live in a very small community, where everybody sees everybody every day. I have known this girl for about 4 weeks; we have flirted a lot, had a lot of fun together, worked together, and had many deep conversations as well. We are close friends.
The Girl: 30 years old (5 years older than me). Colored hair, tattoos, hippie...my type of white girl! Type III (surmised from earlier conversations). Mentioned while we were talking once, that she did not like having roommates because she could not take anyone back to her room. When I heard this, I heard "I want to get laid but it has to happen elsewhere," and I live somewhat separate from the rest of my community so I knew what had to be done. I tried to take her home from a party last week, an invitation she politely declined.
The Seduction: Ran into her at the bar last night with our big group of 10 or so people. It was kind of a bitch of a night, people kept getting lost and splintering off from the group; we spent at least an hour trying to find everyone and it was frustrating as hell. I planted the Hot Tub seeds with her and some of the other girls while we were there, and made a rough plan to hang out there when we got back to where we live.
When we got back, a group of 4 of us (me and three girls) decided to go to the hot tub. This one was hesitant about it for a number of reasons, I encouraged her to join us at least for a bit. At some point in the conversation (I honestly don't remember how), the discussion transitioned into talking about kinky sex and she got The Gleam in her eye and started asking me about my sexual prowess and history (as nearly all women do when you start to drop hints that you're into rough sex.) She hinted that she liked it rough but that need was not being met by the guy here she's been hooking up with. I said "yeah a lot of guys seem to think women like slow, soft romantic sex...I dunno, I think it's all about being savage, being an animal, really going to town on each other." Her face said "I agree!"
The four of us were in the tub, and we were talking about love, and sex, and relationships and all that, and at one point she got uncomfortable and left (just got out of a long-as-fuck relationship that ended badly, discussing it triggered bad memories). I stayed with the two other girls for about an hour and headed home.
When I got home, I saw on Facebook she was still awake, and she sent the first message...
"I see you are still up"
"
"
"Just get back to outer mongolia?" (as mentioned, I live about a 15-minute walk from everyone else)
"Hahaha indeed...I must say, once I get out here I quite enjoy the privacy and seclusion. Whatever happens out here...nobody will ever find out about " (communicating discretion, planting a seed)
"Hahaha...sorry I left abruptly"
"I understand, it seemed like my question made you uncomfortable. I did not mean to stir up unhappy thoughts in you, I know you're dealing with a lot of that fallout and it was not my intention to trigger those things."
"I know. Love is so...meh. It's easy to love so many people. And then not. Or love and still not be nice."
"Indeed, the thrill of ecstasy can so easily give way to complaceny. It is easy to see from afar, but a whole different animal when a person is trapped within that cycle."
"You should feel special, I don't get naked sober for many people. All my other naked time here was when I was wrecked." (the hot tub is clothing-optional, nobody really wears a bathing suit)
"I just hope you didn't notice me trying not to look at your body...for real...well done, whoever your parents are... It was probably a good thing you left before the boner-helicoptering began hahaha"
"Haha!"
"So what are you doing still awake at this hour?"
"I didn't notice and still for some reason hate my body...I dunno, I didn't want to go to bed yet." (I'm not touching that first part with a ten-foot-pole...the second part was her hint to escalate)
"I'm going to be up for a while, if you're still feeling awake in a bit and want to come smoke a bowl, I've got plenty of weed left "
"You are so far away!" (GAME ON)
"Well if you'd care to join me, perhaps I could clear off my other bed and make it a one-way trip for you."
"Hmmm....considering that."
"I'll clear it off, whatever you decide is in your best interest."
"I'm in a weird space but would welcome company...is it OK to come just for hugs and smoke and to crash?" (ASD)
"Whatever your boundaries are will be respected. I may have hopes, but no expectations." (my stock response to stuff like that)
"then I'll come over. FUCKKKK you are far away"
We met up about halfway to my place, she hugged me and I kissed her immediately. I could feel it was ON and she could too. We began walking hand in hand towards my place, at one point I did the pull-by-arm-into-makeout move that I am such a big fan of. We had a passionate kiss and she said "let's wait until we get back to your place," so at this point it was clear we were going to hook up.
When we got back, I threw her on the bed and pinned her arms down and start teasing her. I pulled her hair, bent her over, took off her shirt, bit her neck a little, spanked her a little...she says "whoa...you're refreshingly aggressive!" I just shrugged.
She asked if "we could smoke a bowl first." Because she used the word "first" (first...before what?) I knew it was not resistance but simply a request for comfort before the sex she planned on having with me. So we smoked a bowl and talked for a bit. She said, "there are two reasons I hesitate," so I asked "what are they?"
The first was "you know I've been casually dating another guy here, right?" I said "yes, I am aware of that." She said "it's over between him and me but he's not really getting the hint, I've been trying to end it." This is probably 100% bullshit, I didn't take it seriously and don't care whether she's involved with someone else or not (actually kind of hope she is, I don't like being a girl's only fuckbuddy).
The second was "I have HPV." I simply said "I have condoms." She goes "really? that's it?" and I say "that's it." She let me know she had been beating herself up over having this discussion with me and was afraid I would not tell her. Sooo glad she told me though, it was super cool of her to be upfront and honest like that!
We started fucking shortly after, she is pretty petite so it was easy to manhandle her. Afterwards she told me "it's nice to find a man who doesn't treat me like a fragile flower," a sentiment I've heard from more girls than I can count. I've heard "porcelain doll" and others like it, in exactly the same context.
She ended up needing some lube that I did not have, and we had to stop a couple times for her to spit on her hand and make herself wet. It sort of killed the mood for me, I lost my boner and went to go have a cigarette. At that point I realized I didn't have any more condoms, so we couldn't fuck again, unfortunately...neither of us finished but the sex was fun nonetheless.
She spent the night and we will definitely be hooking up again!
The Takeaways:
--find out what kind of girl she is before you ever make a move, this saves a lot of time later
--a rejection isn't a "no never," it can also be a "no not right now" or "not with my friends around"
--if you get rejected, treat her exactly the same afterwards as you did before. if you have sex with her, treat her exactly the same as you did before. don't let those things change your friendship!
--battle ASD with respect and understanding
--drop hints that you can provide something you either know, or can guess, she needs but is not getting (The Teevster Formula). Nearly all women I've ever spoken to desire rough sex but only run into guys afraid of slapping them around a little, guys who treat them like a ragdoll are a welcome breath of fresh air.
--fuck like a beast!!
Questions, comments, bring it!
CTM
CHAT
