I went out with 3 firm thoughts on my mind: I have plenty to offer and want to make sure I reflect that in confidence in my behavior; I will make sure to be social and approach and not waste my time standing around hesitating; I will focus on giving people and girls I talk to a great experience.
As I walked in the bar with my 2 friends/wing men I began approaching within first 5 minutes. 2 girls. a woman who worked there, groups of people. I focused on listening and giving value by making interesting statements and giving compliments. It makes a better night and builds momentum. My buddy opened a two set sitting down and the other guy went in to wing him. They hooked quickly and I moved on to not become the third wheel. I mingled some more and then opened a two set of Asian girls nearby. This is how the story began.
Simple opener: “what up; I’m out socializing; wanted to say hi”. They were very neutral and just slightly awkward. I am finally understanding that my usual “so … how are you? What are your names? How do you know each other?” is a way to ask for value. It’s not pleasant to girls, especially when I’m not super social or in state. I can do better. I focused on telling them what I’m thinking, some humor, and asked questions that would help me learn about them. ShortHair is one that caught my eye first, but she doesn’t have that fun stimulating personality that I like. Her friend ArtsyGirl does. 5 minutes in, I’m sort of hooked, but I know that girls are still a bit uncomfortable. I want to lock in like we are one friendly group. “Let’s go inside – it’s more fun there”. Uhh, okay. Now I lead them; we go indoors. I pick a corner near the bar and we lock in. ArtsyGirl is showing interest and is flirting. It’s turning me on. She has most of my attention now. Her friend senses that and is giving us space. But friend needs to be entertained too. Luckily a tall good looking blond guy stumbles into her friend while passing by. He apologizes, she says it’s ok, they keep going back and forth on that topic. I go “Guy, this is ShortHair, ShortHair this is guy”. They are both happy and they lock in. Now I’m free to talk to my girl. I turn her away from her friend and we feel isolated.
I touch her on her high points. Arm around her shoulders when we laugh, arm around her waist. Compliment her earrings, hand touches her face and hair. Her attraction is growing. I went for two things: continue physical escalation, and create real comfort. I now believe that comfort is key to pulling. All that together the idea was to make this girl’s night and as consequence make my own night great as well.
I ask many questions now about her life, her sign, her background, her passions. I listen actively, and share quite a lot about myself. I spike attraction regularly: I dance with her to silly music in front of everyone, I hug her, I push her away, I touch parts of her face, arms just “to get a better look”, etc. She loves it. I love it. We’re having more fun than any guy/girl at this bar as far as I can see. I do Eliciting Values routine (Style) to create a sense of connection and to understand her core values. It's great. When we make out and it goes too far (tongue action) I tell her we need to slow down. Kissing creates comfort. Heavy French kissing shouldn't begin until we're back at the seduction location (i.e. my place).
I have the end goal in mind, and begin seeding my place “which is so close by”. I talk about how comfortable my living room is, my fireplace, my décor, my amazingly soft love seat. In my mind the end of the night depends on how much comfort she will have, and logistics – how do I separate her friend and her without freaking them out.
Her friend in the mean time is talking to another good looking guy. Bar is closing and the guy says he will take ShortHair to Vegas and get married right now. ShortHair says “oh really? Fine! Let’s go”. The guy starts pushing to extract and I and him exchange eye contact knowing that we are on the same page. I start clapping “Ve-gas, Ve-gas …” The girls go – ok! He switches up the plan as we go along: he doesn’t have a car parked outside, instead we take a cab to his place. Girls are hesitant every time the plan changes. He acts like a dick about it pushing them to go. I try to compensate by re-establishing some fun vibes to relax the girls. I say “we’re just going to his room to get a drink and then we’ll go to Vegas”. Girls seem to incrementally agree. We finally end up in his room. His set-up is purely to get laid: dark, lounge music, ping pong table, rotating disco lights, and a bed at the end of the room. That's it. No privacy.
I take my girl into a corner, we sweet talk and make out. She puts brakes when my hands go into her dress, but above the dress anything goes. The dude and ShortHair are struggling. Both act like they have attitude. It takes a long time until they finally make out. Then he grabs his chick and throws her on the bed. We can all see that. I continued seeding my place saying my car is right outside and my place is 15 min away (a bit of exaggeration, but it's not lying – it's flirting). When my girl sees that the other too are on the bed, she looks at me and agrees that it's time for us to go. So I tell her to run with me out the door. We run
The damn elevator takes too long. ShortHair still in apartment realizes what happened and runs out shouting at me. She demands I give her my address and full name (to feel that her friend is safe). The girls seem to be agreeing to split up.
This is where I get a surprise. Outside I hail a cab (to get to my car – 1 mile away). Then start driving home (35 min away). My car breaks down on the freeway. It's 3:30am. I got a cutie in my car who I want to take to my bedroom. My poor old car is a sweet lady, but it's a grandma who needs to be retired soon. I make the call – the tow truck takes 35 minutes to get here. I talk her ears off, and make out – and time flies. We chat with the truck driver and laugh on the way home as he drags my car to my street. Finally by 5am we're in. My first pull. From living room to bedroom.
I spent 1 and half hours with wash rinse repeat. It was annoying, but I stayed cool and focused on her comfort. Top came off after a long time. But she didn't want the pants to go down. I pulled my cock out and put her hand on it. Then I nudged her head towards it and after a few times she complied. A blowjob, then sleep at 6:30am. I figured after some sleep LMR will pass. I tried for an hour in the morning – to no avail. My last resort was to stop and just tell her – take the pajama pants off. She said that's too much exposure for the first day. “Give me a break – I already went to bed with a guy from a bar”. Also she gave me “guys tend to loose interest if they get it that soon”. Girls have their own issues to work out I suppose. I gave up and nudged her for another blowjob. She's pretty good for an native asian girl. I would guess sex with her would be good too.
We are still in touch. She's got plenty insecurities and is not as sexually confident as my ex (which I miss). But we'll see where it goes. Have a date set-up with her, but with my experience with flakes who know if she'll show. Logistics are no the best – she lives far and doesn't drive. She also throws super obvious shit at me to get a reaction. It's annoying but I am compassionate to where she's coming from (girl issues).
That's it.
What I did well: used what I learned correctly and focused on providing an experience for both us as well as moving the set forward at each step.
What I could have done better: if we didn't come back that late I'd make us a few drinks and perhaps we'd be a bit more loose. May learn a few anti-LMR routines.
P.S. My two wings pulled their cuties from the bar as well, but due to some hick-up did not close either. All good. Reference points.
Any comments on LMR or otherwise appreciated.
CHAT