I got (thrown) out of a LTR of 3,5years six weeks ago. Since the first week I have worked hard at recovering and this includes redoing the appartment and a ambitious sports program (6x times a week: jogging, gym,fencing) which already shows effects as I don't have a belly anymore but start showing signs of pecs and abs. Nothing to get excited about, but a progress - which is important for myself.
I am 34 years old, am about to finish a thesis in history and fence at university. This Thursday I realized there were a lot of new faces and I introduced myself to all of them and even got the number of a guy looking for a squash partner. So PU not only helps with women but also makes it easier for you to meet new people. D'oh!
Anyway, as I had been to the gym just before I was rather exhausted and after the first bout decided to challenge one of the new faces to let the evening end on a relaxed note. Unfortunately she, Foilbabe (25yrs, 173, 60kg, small but firm and nicely shaped tits as I was about to discover) had been fencing before and even though it ended 10:3 it was a very long bout and I couldn't hold up my arm afterwards. So I chatted a little bit more with her and went home totally exhausted. I missed the bus and walked 15minutes to the next, more central bus station and lo and behold, Foilbabe is in there. I ask her why she didn't went with the others for the traditional drink and she said that she was not in the mood for going out with a crowd.
"Two's not a crowd yet, why don't we have our own after-sport-drink? Let's meet at 21:40 at XYZ".
She agreed, I went home, showered, dressed up and arrived on time together with her. We went to a pub that happens to be directly under my appartment and sit there chatting for a while - I elicit values but notice that she's a little bit distracted, even a scatterbrain. Instead of writing her off I ask her if something is on her mind and bingo she's having troubles with the bureaucracy at university which could cost her half a year.
--> I think it was important to realize this (at least for me) as she is an insecure person and ponders a lot on how others perceive her. By showing that I could read her and be understanding I made her much more relaxed and she started concentrating more on me.
When she told me that I was like her father in many ways I knew I was on the right track. When it grew colder I asked her if she wanted a jacket, which she declined and got upstairs to fetch one for me. I brought an old cord jacket with me for her in case she had changed her mind, which of course she had in the 3 minutes that had passed
She thankfully took the offered jacket, I helped her into it and looked twice the white knight by doing so. And since she was wearing an oversized jacket that belonged to me, I hoped she was switching into "partner mode".
When the pub had to close the outdoor area I suggested paying the beers and going upstairs to my place. She agreed and I was glad I had redecorated. She immediately noticed a bouquet of flowers I had bought for myself and thought it set me apart from every other guy she knew. Well, the better for me. She still wasn't totally at ease, though, even if everything was going well. E.g., she didn't want to sit in the corner of the sofa where she was surrounded by a coffee table and the wall. I then did the cube with her - a game I first learnt during a stay in England as an exchange pupil. This also makes it easy to introduce the cube as part of a story.
She first didn't want to: "I don't know you that long and now I am to be analyzed by you?" I thought it positive she didn't say "stranger". I didn't press the issue but 10mins later she asks "Now what's with the Cube?"
After all the talks and the eliciting of values it wasn't difficult to make not so cold reading via the cube. I realized that she didn't like one topic that had been brought up and pressed it on purpose.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh, now there's an elephant in the room."
"Then be a gentleman and change the topic."
"OK, then I'll hold your hand as a distraction."
I proceeded and caressed her hand. She was willing if passive. As we had been talking about feelings I asked her "Doesn't this feel good?"
"Yeah, kind of, but it is strange because I don't know you yet."
"Well, then try caressing me. How does it feel?"
"That is much clearer: It feels good."
--> I will try this next time I come upon a inhibited girl. If you challenge them to be active it somehow feels different to them and they become more clear about the feeling.
She wanted a smoke and I sent her downstairs as I don't like smoke in my appartment. I gave her a few seconds headstart, then followed her. It was 03:00 by now, the city centre where I live devoid of any life. It was a mysterious SPAM and I let it seep in before kissing her. She didn't flinch and I think I might have sped up the whole process by at least one hour ... but oh well.
From there it was like sledding down a slippery slope. I didn't meet any LMR. The sex wasn't great because I was mentally and physically exhausted but I wanted to chalk it up for my recovery diary.
She's not LTR-material, but might be a good and fun friend and FB. If you read all this: Congratulations, this was my first LR for any PU-forum.
CHAT