| I wasn't online much yesterday or at least enough to type up any field reports but I went out on Thursday and on Friday (Thursday with a friend and Friday alone) Before reading this, you must know.. I'm not good or great at what I'm do, I'm still considered a chump with a SERIOUS Anxiety problem and fear of rejection, this whole thing is still new to me. I've just recently even started trying to meet random hook ups after years of being a nice romantic guy. I'm making a life transition very slowly.
8/11
We'll start with Thursday. Me and my friend, I'll call him JD check out a local bar here in town and decide that a bar with 6 dudes and one obviously taken female is dead so we say screw this and drive 20 minutes to the nearest next town (which is a little bigger than the town we reside in). This bar has 20+ people in it, which isn't great but eh hell why not, we knew we weren't going to find anywhere else around where we live with more people so we decided to stick around.
Well, a friend of my friend was there and she's got a nice body so I decided I wanted to work on her for the night. We talk a bit, I use a lot of body language and some light kino with her, she accidentally spills some of my beer on me and I made her buy me a beer. The problem? All seemed well but she wasn't giving me any indicators of interest what so ever. She would ramble on and on and on while I was keeping calm and straight forward eye contact with her but she wasn't returning any of the touching or initiating many conversations with me.
So me, JD and my target and her friend played pool a bit, we mingled some more on the front patio where I tried escalating the kino a little bit and touching a little more and she decided that 2 am was time to leave (even though she said she was only staying for one beer.. so not a bad sign). Me and my friend both agreed she had a shit day and she probably wasn't DTF so that was a non issue and we'd see her again.
At 2 AM, the bar is pretty much closed and there's only a few select people outside, well one girl walks out with a pizza and my drunk friend grabs a beer sitting next to someone and says "I'm going to go trade some beer for some of her pizza" and walks out following her. He's gone for a few minutes then comes back and says "get the car, we're going with them." No names, but they're wasted as hell and they wanted us to come home with them.. sweet.
So we follow them for a good 5 minutes.. they're running stop signs/red lights and barely making turns.. they're drunk as hell and I think they even looped us in the same direction once or twice, they pull into a parking lot and we follow them into the parking lot, instead of just reversing into the street and following them, we drove all the way to a turn around point then by the time we got out of the parking lot, they were long gone. We followed the car we thought was them, but it was official.. we had lost them.. damn. Oh well.
Well then we get to JD's friends house who is a little mentally unstable, and somehow we end up agreeing to go help him move some furniture to one of his friend's house. I didn't know who the friend was or where he lived but on our way there, I noticed us getting deeper and deeper into a very questionable part of town.. nice.. so we're two white boys in our 20s in the very deep ghetto and it was just like it is in the movies.. everyone sitting outside at 4 in the morning just staring at us looking for trouble. I'll cut this part of the night off here and leave you with the short version. A lot of people did a lot of drugs they shouldn't have and while no one was hurt or arrested, it was a very questionable night.
8/12
So, it's Friday night and JD is pretty much grounded by his wife. Apparently she wasn't too thrilled about him coming home at 7 am. So I have no wingman and I have no choice but to go out by myself.. but it's Friday I'm sure there's plenty of people out.
This night was cut short because I ran into a serious problem. I got to the main bar in my local small town and I realized I couldn't approach anyone. I have the worst fear of rejection and anxiety that's been building up for years so I spent the night looking like a douche just sitting at the bar by myself and I kept beating myself up over not approaching any sets (even though almost all of them were mixed)
I need something to build confidence because I have the worst problem with "I think I'm ugly and she's going to tell me to go away." There might have been.. 30-40 people in the bar total that night (I might be exaggerating the number) but that was that.. I sat there, had a few beers and didn't approach a single person. I would love to just randomly walk up and try 60s method which I have read but walking up to a random mixed set or just a stranger and sticking my hand out and going "and your name is?" the idea scares me a bit.
Here's to hoping it'll go smoother and get better in time!
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CHAT