yo, last night i went sarging alone, but completely failed. i want to know if you guys have any advice for me.

i started out walking into the first bar of the night. immediately notice a two set on the right and a 3 set on the left. they literally all look at me as i walk in. even made eye contact. what do i do? talk to them? NOOOO. i walk right by because i'm so fucking scared. i walk to the end of the bar, head downstairs to the restroom (i did have to piss afterall). come out of the restroom and decide to hang out in the downstairs bar (i didn't wreck that room...yet). i head in and go straight to the bar and get a drink. i start looking around and notice a few good looking girls standing around the dance floor. nobody is really dancing. there were a few girls i could have talked to but it just seemed weird. so i sat down and watched the basseball game at the bar, looking completely lame.

this went on for maybe an hour. the downstairs crowd didn't really change. eventually i decide to head upstairs again. luckily new girls are up there. do i talk to them? nope. too fucking scared. i stand behind some people at the bar and occupy myself by watching the game.

eventually it was getting late and at this point i'm yelling at myself for not talking to anyone yet. so a hb5 and hb7 come up beside me to pay their bill. i lean over to the hb7 (i know, i shouldn't lean- she actually kind of jumped back when i started talking) and i ask her what she thinks about guys with earrrings. she leans over to hb5 and asks her opinion. hb5 says she has a husband who has them, she thinks they're adorable etc. hb7 then starts talking like a motherfucker (this is a good opener). tells me all about her earrings and piercings and how to hide them at work etc.

i keep the conversation going. didn't really have to say much. asked about it looking gay or something. eventually negged her "you have a lot of good ideas but you talk too much" she laughs and agrees. keeps going on about these piercings. i try to start a new thread. talk about my extravagent boss at work. shes 40 or so and wears thongs that come up past her back. if she can get away with that i should be able to get away with some earrings right? conversation keeps going. girls are about to leave. hb5 says "whatever you decide, i think you'll look adorable" hb7 agrees. i tell them to have a good night. hb7 says the same, looks at me with those "i don't want to leave yet" eyes, but walks out of the bar.

so how could i have kept them in the bar long enough to get hb7's phone number? what are some other threads i could have opened? how do i overcome not talking to people right away? this is fucking killing me. i'm ruining my value right from the start by standing alone and not talking to people.


later in the night i go to another bar. two hb7 girls and a guy are sitting at a table talking. guy goes up to pick some songs from the jukebox. i move in, lean in again (i know i need to work on this) ask what they think of guys with earrings. here comes the bitch test...first girl says "immediate turnoff, don't get them" other girl agrees "yeah i would never go out with a guy with pierced ears. why, were you thinking about getting them? why do you want them?" both girls were in a pissy mood (disgusted faces even). i'm like, yeah i'm thinking about it. maybe some diamond studs. girls seem very turned off. "yeah i wouldn't get them" one says again. they turn to each other and start talking amongst themselves. i'm shut out so i just turn away and leave pissed off.

any constructive criticisms? i know i fucked up several times. please be gentle!

Whenever you leave a set that you have fucked up, always leave with a "pleasure meeting you". Always.

You should go in with a buddy or two, even if you don't have a wing. Make them force you to approach, and don't give yourself the option of saying no. Be conscious of your body language, as you mentioned. You should have shown them something interesting to hook their attention. How do you keep those girls in the bar? C's vs U's, Best Friend Test, ESP, anything else in a PUAs arsenal for A1/A2. You had limitless options. Not bad for starting out at least you made contact and opened two sets. Good job buddy, keep reading and playing it out in the field.


- Memento

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hey man i got a good advice for your AA: you can approach HB's and ust ask for a direction. so there is no need for gaming, you only want a direction. and after opening some of them you can move into a DHV story or a routine, thats how i did it...hope that helps for your AA.

I think you did a pretty good job with ur set that you opened ar the bar, you got some IOI's so good work, i think you could have number closed, could have been possible

Good luck

JOKER

Hey man, you may feel down on yourself about this whole thing but you really shouldn't! Whether you think so or not, you obviously learned a couple lessons from this. You'll be better for it. So congrats on opening those sets.

For the bar set, as much as I dislike canned material, you could have taken the convo into a routine and stacked them. Good neg(I haven't been able to bring myself to tell a girl she talks too much yet! haha). A DHV story and some statements that lead to them asking you questions would have been great. I will venture to say you could have number closed here with minimal effort, she almost seemed interested enough without all this stuff.

About your blown out set...Oh well, you live and you learn. But you opened another set which is something to be proud of.

Next time, just remember what you did wrong this time and work on it. Oh and I agree with Memento on bringing a buddy or two. Who knows, they may end up teaching you something in the end, as well as forcing you into sets.

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hey guys thanks for the advice. i've been going out the last few weekends with my roommate, but he is no pua. i mean, i do feel like its easier to talk to girls when he is there, but once i open he almost always goes into afc questions (where are you from? what do you do? etc). i need to figure out a way to get one of the girls alone so i can escalate into comfort building and seduction.

i think that "pleasure meeting you" is probably a good idea. that way it leaves me with some value when i leave the set. i may suck at pickup but i'm not a jerk

kingjoker, when you say ask for direction what do you mean? like ask where the restroom is? or where the bar is? or what?

and yes i need to come up with some interesting dhv stories. i'm definitely lacking in that area. do dhv stories come after i escalate kino and play games or before?

With regards to the positive set that left the bar, if you wanted to #close/keep them in the bar you could have tried asking them something like ''Where's good to go around here? I've not been out here much before and all my friends are stuck at home being boring''. Chances are, if that HB was into you she'd say where they were going and say its a great place to go, or even suggest that you go with them. That way you could have easily #closed by saying you'd probably go there later but you could call her when you get there if she's still around...

With DHV stories, its up to you I suppose, but I generally view DHV stuff as part of the attraction phase so I use those routines early on, before the comfort and seduction phase, though it certainly doesnt hurt to consistently DHV all the way through.

Hope that helps buddy

thanks 8ball.

so if dhv is for attraction then what is for comfort? games?

Hey man,

Lets start with some stuff you did right for encouragement's sake. First, you didn't go the whole night without approaching. Believe it or not that is better than some that are new to the game. Also, you are at least remotely aware of playfully negging, so you tried to implament something you learned.

Now where you can improve. I think you know this already, you need to work on your approach anxiety. Some of the previous posts had some wisdom in that you can go to a street and ask any girl that walks by for directions (to some place close by, presumably a place that you already know is close and exists). Or, my personal favorite recommendation is just going to a mall and saying hi to any girl that walks by, even if they walk by in a group. Your goal is to say hi, you don't have to do any more for the time being, but do it a lot. It sounds lame. When first started I wanted to jump right into material. However, it works. Trust me.

Second, it sounds like you already know this one too; you need to approach sets as soon as you see them. This will come easier after practicing techniques above. Have you heard of 3 sec rule? It means approach set within 3 seconds of seeing the set. Literally every accredited MPUA around the world agrees on this one. Never sit by yourself. If you are not out with friends and there are no sets you are interested in, open a group that you are not interested in. This will provide social proof for when you finally do see a group that you are interested in.

You are not moving past your opener. Your opener is only for the purpose of engaging your set in a non-awkward way. Your opener should be the shortest part of your pick-up process (If you are still talking about material in your opener after the 1st two minutes you are in your opener for to long). Once you have opened a set, you need to transition, attract, qualify, comfort, & seduce. Transition is for transitioning to attraction material so your attraction material does not seem out of no where. Attraction material is to create/add to your value so your target is actually interested in you. Qualification is when the target 'wins' you over so you are portraying that you are not just into her for her looks. Comfort is to make her comfortable with you, establish similarities between yours and her values/beliefs/ideas, and present yourself as congurent with the person she met. Seduction is the process of getting her aroused for sex. Beyond each of these simple definitions, each of these would take far too long to fully explain in a simple post. My advice: read about each of these terms and get a better understanding for them. Chiefly, move past your opener.

Also, ground your opinion openers. This means establishing in the opener why you are interested in the opinion. Why do you want to know about earings? Common examples include saying that your friend is thinking about getting one. It depends on the opinion opener, but often if you do not ground your opinion openers, your set will wonder why you are asking about it. Notice how one of your sets asked why you were asking? If you wanted to get one?

Also, I don't know the tone in which it was presented, but getting a 'no' response to an opinion opener is not necesarly a 'bitch shield'. If she says that earings would not look good on a man, that is not her turning down you or your opener. You asked an opinion and she is expressing that opinion. Whether she says a man looks bad or like brad pitt with earings, it doesn't matter. The answer is unimportant. What is important is that you opened the set and are now free to move to transitions.

Also, yes/no opinion openers are not the best form of opinion openers. This particular rule is not written in stone, but typically opinion openers that require an explanation do better. For example, rather than a yes/no opinion opener, try "how long do 2 people have 2 be dating before they are exclusive?" Yes/no here doesn't make sense and giving a time frame with no explanation would be socially awkward so they are forced to back up their opinion with an explanation. Once again, remember to ground this opinion opener with a friend being in a relavent situation.

I hope this helps. If you or anyone has any questions/comments reply to this posting and I will answer/respond.

why do you guys treat talking to girls like some sort of covert operation, if you ask me i think you should grow a fucking pair, and just ask her for a number for Christ sake, HONESTY IS THE BEST policy, next time, do this give her ur phone and tell her to put her number in it, i bet it will work, and if it dosn't well who gives a shit her loss...

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^it works but you better use this only as a last resort. in this case you could have used it because the alpha 'h'b5 wanted to leave and take your target with her. there was no good way to isolate your target because you didn't have a wing to keep amogirl occupied. you had to build a time bridge and #close.
You have to give her an excuse to give her number to you. Talk about your interesting hoby or something and promise her to teach/show her whatever u used in DHV routine (make sure you actually have some interesting part of live). When they, or better you, leave say something like how do we meet again to do above/ talk more whatever. if this doesn't work make phone signal with hand or say we call or eventually give her your phone.

2nd case: always have a reason for asking your opinion opener. i mostly use; my friends over there had a discussion about blabla. u can also do this in 1 sentence like: I want to have a piercing, where do you guys think i should put it. (be prepared for answer penis) (a good answer to sexual shittest is: respect! credit style/ali g)

you see i completely disagree with that, i think you guys are framing this all wrong, why the hell do you need to give her an excuse to give you her number youre DLV'ing at this point, are you not good enough to get her number ? Stop holding back so much i think youre over complicating it a little too much. Honestly i don't think I've ever had a girl tell me no when i asked her for her number. I've seen people do it with the kiss close as well, STOP IT, just go in for the kiss end of story no excuses no games just do it.

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well the only reason to do this is: if she gives you her number than her brains begin to rationalize and say i must like this guy. but i agree it isn't absolutely necessary. it's just a part of the game and how you want to play it. i agree that sometimes being direct is good.

edit: being direct does take a bit of feeling and timing. if you ask for her number than u better have an excuse of your self for asking it.

umm...why would you need an excuse ? Think about it, if you don't get her number you probably wont hang out again, as far as rationalization goes if she does that than you didn't do a good enough job of creating attraction end of story stop coming up with silly excuses and work on your game. Not trying to be a dick here but i see this over and over, guys the gimmics are a crutch they are meant to over come social anxiety at some point you have to take the training wheels of.

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a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow

true. she will give her number if you did attraction dhv etc good. but i think that in the case we talk about there wasn't enough attraction. so if she ask why? then you need a reason for asking (and i agree being direct in that case might be best).
a good way to test if there is enough attraction is when she give her number when you ask indirect for it.

i think it's just a question of style. do you play 'under the radar' or are you direct and say i want you, now kiss me? i don't care. if you do anything with the right attitude it works.

edit: i think this are thinks to consider when you get her to give her number:
-women love indirect communication
-women don't want to be reasponsible for their actions
-you didn't ask so you are not needy
-she gave it to you, so she must like you

and if you want to ask anyway go ahead. i don't care

hey guys thanks for all the info.

i have a few more questions.

scope64. you are right i couldn't get past that opener. she just kept talking and talking. on one hand, i know i should start talking about something else, but on the other, wouldn't it seem like i have ADD if i just throw out a random thought to move it to something else? it just seems unnatural thats all.

next, you say "transition, attract, qualify, comfort, and seduce." is there a book or website you read that explains all these steps? i'm still not sure when to neg, dhv, cube etc.

to you other guys, yeah i think i should have just asked for her number at that point. there wasn't enough time to really build attraction, so i should have just said "hey can i give you a call some time id like to hang out" bla bla bla. she was nice and probably would have just been like "ok sure"

NEXT TIME....