success or failure?



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 Post subject: success or failure?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 9:56 pm 
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Last night I went sarging alone again. This time I peacocked a little with a loose knot, plaid tie with a white style tee. So I walked through a couple bars, not really feeling it. I walked past a couple of sets I should have opened but couldn't muster up the balls. I decided to hit up the dance club down the street. While standing at the bar, I had a HB7 come up behind me. I thought this is a better time than ever. The bartender was being kind of slow so this is how I opened:

Me: "Jeez, this guy always takes forever serving drinks."
Her: "aww, I like him, he's my buddy."
Me: "Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy and very conversational."
(trying to build report)

Her: "Oh, do you come here often?"
Me: "Every once in a while. What were you drinking there?"
(She names the drink)
Her: "Why, you wanna buy me a drink?"
(I chuckle, use a little kino)
Me: "nope"
Her: "You should get one, they're good"
Me: "So, you're going to buy me a drink?"
(she starts talking to the bartender so I step away and come back a couple mins later)
Her: "So, you're not going to buy me a drink."
Me: "I can't believe you. I don't even know you and you expect me to spend my money on you? Here, I'll make a deal with you, I'll buy you a drink of your choice and you do the same for me."
Her: "That's like buying my own drink."
Me: "Wow, you're smarter then you look."
Her: (speaking to the bartender) "He's not gonna buy me a drink."
Him: "Well, guys do think it's sexy when I girl offers to buy her own drink."
after some small talk
Me: "Well, it was nice meeting you."

After leaving I realized I should have # closed. I went home empty handed.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:29 pm 
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its never a failure unless you dont try, think of it as an experience and build upon it

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A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:07 am 
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I'll give you my honest opinion. Just because I'm being straight please don't get offended.
I think you don't quite have an understanding of how a successful interaction goes when you cold approach. What tells me this? because you skipped through some key stages and went straight into trying to build rapport. This is the very first thing you learn when you start moving away from being an AFC.
That woman has guys like you come up to her all night. Why would she build rapport with you? you think she builds rapport with the other 20 guys that hit on her?
She's not going to build rapport with you unless she has a reason to. And a good reason.
What's a good reason? If she's attracted to you. You have to build attraction FIRST, before you can move on to things like rapport.
I think you need to read some books like venutian arts or magic bullets. They explain why it's generally wrong to start with rapport and a lot more.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:38 am 
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you'll learn from your mistakes man. once she said no to you, you kept pushing the subject instead of negging. you also insulted the bartender right from the bat who was her friend, and then insulted her in front of the bartender.

ease up on the C&F a little... it's like when you bluff in a poker game.. you bluff once and if it doesn't work you try something else. pushing the subject is very AFCish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:44 pm 
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If you work hard you'll read this post in the future and chuckle that you even thought of getting anywhere with an interaction like this.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:58 pm 
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Quote:
its never a failure unless you dont try, think of it as an experience and build upon it
Exactly, chalk it up to experience. And learn from your mistakes, and you'll improve everytime


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 12:51 am 
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At least you didn't buy her the drink :O


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