note***I rarely sarge so I get ALOT of approach anxieties when it comes to approaching complete strangers... I'm more of a fan of warm approaches where I get introduced and stuff. I'm no fan of Cold Approaches.



OK so me, my friend and his GF went to this party. yes I was a third wheel, so I figure I'll just sarge and it'll be easy...WRONG...specially with my experience. I was too cocky, FUCK! It was a HS flyer party so drinks weren't free(yes I'm still in HS, senior though). As we enter I see my other friends so I ditched my friend and his GF and talked to the guys.

We were pretty much having a good time so Sarging flew off my mind. Big mistake! So two of their chick friend came over talk to 2 of my friends in the group(HB7 and HB9). SO I figure OK they're prolly gaming them so I went quiet and didn't really talk to the girls instead I talked to my other guy friends in the group...BIG MISTAKE2. They talked for 5 mins and then a long awkward silence from the girls and the guys. They were getting bored, but stuck around. I felt that I should open them and should use an opener I just thought of on the spot. But I didn't since I respect my friends and shit. Then they borrowed my friend's phone coz they were bored and called some one with it for a couple of minutes then returned it and left. I didn't trust my intuition and it made me feel like shit.

So then this girl came up to me trying to get me to buy drinks.

HB7: Hey do you wanna buy some alchohol. We're trying to sell them all because the party's gonna be over soon
Me: Well how much...(I should've said, "Is that how you hit on people? How many guys fell for it?")
HB7: well its...(I interrupt)
Me: Nah,(pause...she was about to leave then...,) unless you can convince me otherwise.
HB7: OK. How am I going to convince you? What do you want?
Me: Haha, you think I'm gonna help you with that?
HB7: How bout I dance with you(I'm like WTF?...)
Me: Nope I don't dance(by the way she was dressed she was into rock music and they were playing Hip Hop. I didn't want to dance with her)
HB7: OK how bout I give you a kiss on the cheek.("WTF? is this chick gonna be a hooker in the future...hmm... I bet 'I'll let you touch my boobs' is next")
Me: Hey I'm not that easy now

Then her friend(HB8) came and had a convo with her and said that they didn't need to sell those beers no more. Then she left.

I felt like I should've told her "Don't be rude, introduce me to uR friend." But I hesitated.


There were other girls to be approached but I didn't follow the 3 second rule and my Approach Anxieties just kept building up. I wanted to approach and use the "Are you guys shy" opener or the "Would you have sex with Jesus" opener. But I never did and hated myself for it.




I guess my first Field Report was horrible....Any Tips/hepl from people who are more expierenced would be appreciated.

I feel you caliboi, im new and in HS also and i have AA. Just curious were do you go sarging? I just got into the PUA community and my biggest proplem SPAM is finding places to sarge and a good opener.

To me it sounds like you really need to work inner game get some confidence building. I suggest being more cocky/funny all the time and just try saying hi to random people (its what im trying).

Co0L! ey, what year are you? I'm seni0R. Anyways finding a place to sarge shouldn't be an issue. Just go out with your friends to the mall or something have fun while uR there and sarging should be uR 2nd priority. But if you need to practice uR NIGHT game then just look for flyer Parties. Just check uR Mspace comment or bulletins or ask one of uR friends to check theirs. There's usually one every Saturday or Friday.

Any opener should work, just search around the forum. I guess I expect too much when approaching. I should just approach and expect to crash and burn and not give a shit about it.

Lol, well im a Junior so i dont know if we have as many parties as seniors. But when you say "flyer parties" wait do you mean flyer?

Yah well i expect to crash and burn and i dont want to but hey. Right now im just getting my inner game up and am trying to recruit a wing, mall sounds like good idea, thanks.

You should have tons of chances to sarge in highschool. Mall, athletic games, parties ext. As many well tell you AA can be overcome and it's as simple as just going out and approaching. Everyone has that fear of rejection remember that this isn't all about #'s and hooking up it's about social interaction. Warm approaches are good but they don't come up that often so except the fact that your going to have bad approaches and your going to have good approaches.

My thoughts on the party sarge. The first group that came up to you and your friends you backed off b/c I'm guessing you didn't want to cock block. You really don't know who these girls are interested in so everyone in the group including yourself should have an equal oppurtunity. Remember in the methods here we talk to the targets friends more until they've earned our intention. What if these girls were doing the same thing and using your friends to get to you? For the interaction with the girl you did alright and neg'd her but didn't move on from there. You kept throwing out negs without adding to the conversation. She attempted multiple times to get your attention. a dance then a kiss...The purpose of negging is to push them away to get these results not to continuely push them away. Take these chances to build the Kino and comfort level then n or k-close.

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~Surreal

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"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up."

I had a bit of AA but then this one quote from mystery's book got rid of most of it. Im still a bit hesistant but not as much as I was.

Basically he said, a PUA's goal isn't to pick up girls, its to play the game. It's like fishing or golf, the fun is in doing the action itself. When you go sarging, don't care about the outcome, just care about gaming as well as you can and learning from it. Your goal is to develop a strong skill set to play the game better later on. don't care about rejection and don't care if they hook, just about playing the game well. Ironically its this attitude that girls respond best to.

This happened to me too today in fact. I kept seeing opportunities to open sets and play the game. I didn't act on all of them, but at least I'm recognizing them which is a step up than before.

Think about it, could you have noticed all of those opportunites you mentioned before? No, you couldn't and now you can, you just need to gain courage to act on them. You're making progress. Doesn't sound like a horrible field report for me at all.

ey, thnx for the advice...The convo with the girl turned me off badly. I guess I really don't like the fact that she was offering herself for a few dollars. I guess it was my fault for leading it to that thread instead of leading it to a new thread after her first answer which was the dance.

IF YOU GET IN A SITUATION AGAIN WERE A GIRL ASKES YOU TO BUY A DRINK, OR BUY HER ONE, TELL HER "NAH, LETS JUST BE FRIENDS." AND SMILE BIG. THIS IS MY FAVORITE DEFLECTION FOR CHICKS WHO COLLECT DRINKS, AND THEY LOVE THIS ANSWER. JUST SELL IT LIKE THEY JUST ASKED YOU OUT.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

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Silverback