The night begins sitting on the train from my home in Fife through to Edinburgh. All though I work on the rigs and have only recently returned home my liver can't take a pounding like it used to. So I bought myself 4 brew dog punk IPAs cause they are shit hot. There were 5 of us in total and on the train I slammed down my ales and by the time we got to Edinburgh I was gassed out my tits.
We headed to the bar rush it's a pretty sound place birds booze and a punching machine which we used to get egotistical attention drawn to us. But low and behold it being a small bar before I even got to start my game THE EX FROM FUKING HELL WALKS.
me: Hey what's the crack?
ex: WHAT THE FUK ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!
me: I think it's time to leave...
ex: You better fuking leave!!!
me: Don't worry I am it'll save me from spitting on your arse hole again.
So we decided to hit the hive because basically you tell a girl anything nice in there your in. We arrived I started on the beer and then basically what I just said any girl i walked passed I would just say the most random things to them:
I love your hair, earrings, nose piercing, dress etc.
From there I would give it general intellectual jargon:
What you doing in Edinburgh, Uni, here etc.
Then i'll let them babble on for a while then tell them they owe me a dance for taking up my time and then just try slip my tongue in there mouth on the dance floor.
This tactic got me 3 pulls and 2 numbers and through my own devices I could have got laid but ruined it. See I was on the dance floor with a 7 a bit low but hey she was very very very keen so I told her to wait here while I get a drink you know push and pull. I got to the bar and without noticing I was standing next to an 8 so a slight improvement. So I gave the 8 my jargon and we didn't even make the dance floor before I was pulling BUT the keen 7 had actually followed me to the bar and well basically I tried my hardest to regroup my game and try get laid but apprently I was to much of a player for her.
So the night came to a close I was pretty chuffed I done reasonably well on a standard night out. Me being me I wanted a munch. Walked near enough the whole way down leith walk looking for the 24 hour bakery we stopped at a veets and though fuk this well head back to the McDs on Princess street. I though fuk it we'll jump in a taxi.
me: take me somewhere to eat right now
taxi: ok
We go all the way back down leith walk and just passed the vets we stopped at was the bakery that's a fiver in a taxi to go to the same place. 4 pies and 4 rolls were purchased by me i won't lie
(the game finished when i left the club i just wanted to tell you about my food dilema

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