So I meet an HB 9 that I was friends with a few years ago before we lost touch at a bar over the weekend. We reminisce and there is some light kino. I # close her and now I am working my way up to a day 2. Should mention that we were at a karaoke bar and we agreed that we should get together to sing sometime.

So. Next day I send her a text (sorry for the format. I dont want her to google this and find out that the emperor has no clothes):

Phaz: H.o.a.r.s.e f.r.o.m s.i.n.g.i.n.g l.a.s.t n.i.g.h.t. I.t w.a.s a t.r.i.p r.u.n.n.i.n.g i.n.t.o y.o.u a.t a k.a.r.a.o.k.e b.a.r. Y.o.u n.e.v.e.r s.t.r.u.c.k m.e a.s a d.i.v.a l.o.l.
Phaz: (48 hours later) D.a.r.n M.o.n.d.a.y.s...i.n b.o.r.i.n.g t.e.c.h m.e.e.t.i.n.g.s a.l.l d.a.y. H.o.w r u d.o.i.n.g? M.o.w.i.n.g a.n.y l.a.w.n.s?

(Kind of a sniper neg. I implied when we met that since she is going to community college and making money on the side mowing lawns that she was kind of a failure. I think my exact words were "You look like you have strong arms I'll bet you would make a great landscaper...Nothing wrong with that.")

HB: (Hours later) I j.u.s.t w.o.k.e u.p. L.o.l m.y d.a.y h.a.s y.e.t t.o b.e.g.i.n. I h.a.v.e t.o s.t.a.r.t C.h.r.o.n.o C.r.o.s.s o.v.e.r a.f.t.e.r 9 h.o.u.r.s o.f g.a.m.e.p.l.a.y.

Phaz: Nice. M.y b.e.s.t d.a.y.s b.e.g.i.n a.t 3 P.M. I m.i.s.s c.o.l.l.e.g.e...s.i.g.h. S.o...I m.e.n.t.i.on.e.d t.o (Mutual Friend) T.h.a.t w.e r.a.n i.n.t.o e.a.c.h.o.t.h.e.r a.n.d h.e t.o.l.d m.e s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g s.h.o.c.k.i.n.g a.b.o.u.t y.o.u!

HB: (within 10 minutes) W.h.a.t's t.h.a.t?

Phaz: I d.o.n.t k.n.o.w i.f I c.a.n a.d.e.q.u.a.t.e.l.y e.x.p.r.e.s.s i.t i.n a t.e.x.t m.e.s.s.a.g.e a.n.d. I a.m a.b.o.u.t t.o j.u.m.p o.n t.h.e r.o.a.d. M.a.y.b.e I c.a.n c.a.l.l u t.o.n.i.g.h.t. W.i.l.l y.o.u b.e a.r.o.u.n.d?

HB: M.y p.h.o.n.e d.o.e.s.n't r.i.n.g s.o i.t w.o.u.l.d p.r.o.b.a.b.l.y b.e b.e.t.t.e.r t.o t.e.x.t.

(This confused the hell out of me. If it was meant to intentionally confuse me I give her mad props. I dont know if she meant "text before you call," or "I dont want to take your call so just text me instead." Here is how I handled it.

Phaz: W.o.w l.o.l...t.h.a.t i.s a h.e.l.l o.f a d.e.s.i.g.n f.l.a.w. H.o.w l.o.n.g d.o y.o.u h.a.v.e t.o t.u.r.n t.h.e c.r.a.n.k b.e.f.o.r.e y.o.u c.a.n u.s.e i.t?

HB: Hahahahaha a.b.o.u.t t.w.e.l.v.e m.i.n.u.t.e.s

Phaz: S.h.e.e.s.h y.o.u'r.e s.u.c.h a g.o.o.f. I.f y.o.u c.a.n. s.t.a.r.t c.r.a.n.k.i.n.g a.t 10:18 I c.a.n c.a.l.l u a.t 10:30. I s.h.o.u.l.d b.e o.f.f t.h.e r.o.a.d b.y t.h.e.n.

HB: ? W.h.a.t.e.v.e.r l.o.l

(So it is two hours after I was supposed to call and I send this text)

Phaz: G.o.t i.n l.a.t.e. S.r.y. B.T.W, I h.a.v.e n.e.v.e.r g.o.t.t.e.n i.n.t.o S.q.u.a.r.e.s.o.f.t's R.P.G.s. T.o.o l.i.n.e.a.r. Y.o.u l.i.k.e o.p.e.n f.o.r.m R.P.G.s l.i.k.e O.b.l.i.v.i.o.n a.n.d D.r.a.g.o.n A.g.e a.s w.e.l.l?

(ok this is where we left it last night. When she responded with the ambiguous line about her phone, I felt like I was losing control of the situation so I had to reestablish control by flaking on her. Best case scenario now she is waiting to hear what wierd thing I know about her, wondering where I was and what I was doing "on the road." (I implied that I was a successful businessman when we met, which is true), and hopefully a little pissed that I stood her up. I couldn't risk calling her at the appointed time and not having her pick the phone up. Now I plan on waiting until she responds to the text, freeze out and call her the next day out of the blue. I will let you all know how it goes. Suggestions are appreciated.

_________________
Anything that I say is said without malice.

Update: Just got a text from our mutual friend that she called him and asked him what he told me so part of the gambit worked at least. Hopefully it will not backfire.

_________________
Anything that I say is said without malice.