I don't do routines, nlp, etc. I'm more natural gamer, so I go for situational openers most of the time.

Most of my game is day game, though I am new and don't have lots of approaches down. I've been doing this off and on for a year, though I don't go out and sarge and rarely approach for one reason or another. Part of it is AA, the other part is not knowing what to say, but I'm working on that. Either way, 2 to critique -


Last night at a supermarket, I passed by a girl who was holding up a "rice crust" pizza in the health section. She was holding it up to the point where I could see it (though she was already a planned target) so I stopped and was like, wait, rice crust? that's unAmerican! and joked with her. We went through the basics for about 10 min but I never really got a hook point. We talked about health foods, her being a trainer, me and this gym I love going to, cheat foods, etc etc. She's a health nut, personal trainer (I really don't see how this is possible, but eh...), and I knew it wasn't going to end well because she loves healthy food, doesn't eat red meats nor cheat at all (she barely likes chocolate, and only the healthy chocolate).

So after about the 10 min mark I see she's looking to the side so I make my exit. I get her name, lightly shake her hand, turn to walk away then say "hey what's your email, I'll email you sometime to keep in touch" (thinking I could do the DeAngelo email/number close). I didn't have a hook point and although I made her laugh and teased her a bit, I was still confident and saying it like old friends would yet I wasn't getting good vibes. She goes "I'm not really interested in joining your gym" and I look kind of perplexed and go "no, it's to keep in touch, nothing professional about a gym. I'm not the gym savior here (raising both hands to mock a preacher)". She goes "um, I don't think we should" or something along those lines, so I say ok cool and walk off.


Today-

I go to the one mall on Thursday every few weeks to kill time between work and practice so I don't make a long commute. While I'm there, I talk to a couple kiosk people I know well and walk the store one loop while talking to a few of the workers. So I walk by a kiosk, see a 9 dark-haired beauty that I talked to for about 20 secs last month. I stop and do my usual routine "Man you're having so much fun, you can barely contain yourself huh?" Crappy routine but after a bit I ease into her working there part-time, going to school full-time for French. I relate that to my history degree of "you picked the major because you loved it, didn't you? Just like me...". As I'm talking, I remember back to Slywalker's posts I had gone through last night about letting the woman talk her way to comfort with you.

Once I find out she's passionate about french, I talk to her about it, asking her lots of questions and offering her insight about what she can do with it. Then we talk about her texting habits, I try to go along and agree with what she's saying to build comfort like "oh yea I do that too", while at the same time I'm being true and not just going along with it just to agree with her.

At the beginning, I was leaning on my elbows onto the kiosk, leaning in to show interest, then I'd sit back, place both hands far apart on the kiosk to take up space. Then throughout the convo I'd turn my body to the side, step back a few feet, rock away, turn away as if I'm walking away then come back to her.

So we talk for about 10, I neg her sometimes, joke with her about her being Macgyver and fixing watches and all she needs is "bubble gum and a paperclip" to put them back together. The whole time she's chatty and I let her do most of the talking. Customer comes up, I leave after 10 secs, go for a walk and talk on the phone. I come back around, pass by her, still with the customer, don't look at her at all then come back 10 min later when she's not with a customer but has her back to me and is fixing a watch. This time she's concentrating on the watch and not really into the convo. After a few min I'm about to eject and a customer comes in. So I say "hey I'll have to grab your number next time and we can text" to which she doesn't say much, then I leave.


I'm having a hard time getting a hook point and maintaining eye contact.

If I notice that the woman is genuinely talkative, joking a bit and interested in the convo, I stick with it for 5-10 min and try to build more comfort. I've had a few 2-3 min number closes and find that they flake because the comfort isn't there, so I try to stay with the convo for 5-10 min to build comfort, but I'm finding 5+ min is too long and I'm trying to focus on how to build comfort and attraction.

Eye contact is a problem mostly because of my ADHD and whenever people walk by, I look or I turn away for a few secs as I'm talking and then turn back. I need to have better eye contact, though not laser-beam stalker type eye contact.

I grade myself 6/10- I was confident, sucked at building the hook point, decent at being humorous.


Ideas? Be brutally honest with me. Keep in mind I'm cocky/funny, natural, no routines, situational.

You seem to be great at conversation, but you didn't mention much about sexual tension or escalation leading me to believe there wasn't much. You're shooting for comfort way too early. Also, flaking doesn't happen based on lack of comfort. It happens because she isn't that excited to see you again; which is easily fixed by building more tension.

If you're escalating at a good rate, the conversation shouldn't even last 10 minutes unless she is interested in you sexually.