It has been over two years since I last sarged. I took a step back from the community about two years ago after my LTR got to one year. This past weekend I promised the guy that took over for me on our local Texas board I would come and give him a hand in a monthly newbie meet and greet.
I did not walk into the evening with any goals other than making sure that Jax got some support (running meet ups by yourself is a beast) and that new guys got some face time. Really, I had no intention of even working sets. Fortunately, the group was small enough that I got to spend real time with the old guys and the new in addition to running some sets. It was really nice to get out and stretch the old PUA muscles.
The night started off as most meet ups do. We met at a simi-populated place where we could sit as a group, get to know each other, bullshit, and make plans for the rest of the evening. After about an hour we had all made our introductions and small talk. Jax threw the ball to me to come up with some challenges. Sadly, I had come up with a really funny one, but forgot the props at home. Jen (my LTR) had brought home a handful of some G-d awful key chains a month ago that her mother brought back from San Fran. Seriously, these things were hideous. My plan was to give one out to each of the new guys and challenge them to create an opener around the key chain they received and perfect that opener over the evening. It's a fun game that forces you to get out of your normal routine and think on your feet a little. It also teaches the principles of, "Anything is an Opener". Back to Jax the ball went and the newbies got the challenge of using the phrase "Flaming Cat" in each set.
Once the challenges were out we sent the newbies to warm up in the bar while a few of use closed our tabs. Off to the next bar we went. When we got to the next bar it was pretty slow, but looked like it would get pretty busy. Perfect. This gave use a chance to hangout a little more, get situated, and grab a big table. Grabbing a table with at least two more chairs than you need is a very easy way to hold court. I will explain all the principles involved at the end.
After getting drinks, Sandman, Jax, and I immediately took up a six top patio table while the newbies and The Therapist worked the few early birds at the bar. Within 30-45 minutes the bar started to fill up and sets became plentiful. We were already laughing and caring on. Sets started to approach us to sit at our table. When a chair or two at our table became empty, a fresh set would swoop in or we pull in a HB passing by. Throughout the night we did our best to keep the table full, laughing, and having a good time.
The first few sets were nothing to really write home about and we did not work to keep them seated. By about the third set things started to get more interesting. On one end of the table we had a two set of young HBs (22 and 23). On the other end of the table we had a set of HBs in their early 30s. The young set was ridiculously easy. The only thing I had a hard time with was over nagging my target. My LTR is not much older than they were, but her mouth is like the machine-gun of shit tests. So I am used to someone that can dish it out and take it like a champ. Pretty early on (5 minutes) the young HBs were trying to qualify themselves to us and were telling us how "wild" they were. My target was telling me all about how she could not find her panties last weekend, but of course she was a virgin - right.
Me: Ummm, if you are a virgin, how did you loose your panties?
HB-MissingPanties: There is lots of other stuff to do!
HB-Brunett: Hello, foreplay!
Sandman: If there is no after play, then it can’t be foreplay. It is just boring play.
Me: Boring.. My drink is empty and you should go get me a new one.
HB-MissingPanties: Ok, will you go with me.
I would occasionally catch some smartass comment being thrown out by one of the 30 something HBs at the other end of the table. In an attempt to help quite her shit tests down for the other PUAs at the table I made sure that I was the one she was calling the "asshole" (with a smile) as quickly as possible. However, I did not give her more attention than that for the bulk of the night. Most of the time I would look over and find that her friend was the one doing most of the talking while she was sitting there with a "I will scratch your eyes out" look on her face.
At some point the young HBs went off to go to the bathroom and the 30 something HBs came over and took their seats. HB-Cranky (the one sitting with the sour look on her face) sat next to me and HB-Cum Salad (get to that story in a minute) sat next to Sandman. We all chatted for a bit and I traded barbs with HB-Cranky and built some attraction. She was actually cute and had a nice body. They hung around till the Young HBs came back. They then went back to the other end of the table.
Somewhere in this story Sandman pulls a girl over that had a dog in her purse. I add that in mainly because of how random it was. I think he got more over a conversation out of why she had the dog with her than he bargained for.
The young HBs were getting wayyyy too drunk and a friend of theirs could not get into the bar for whatever reason so they left around 12:45ish. Sandman gave the brunette his number for laughs and kisses her goodnight. She proceeded to text him none stop for the next few days - even though he was not responding. The target I was talking to tried to give me her number, but I politely declined saying we would see each other again. Brunette HB texted Sandman yesterday asking him to pass HB-MissingPanties’s number to me.
Almost as soon as they left the 30 Something HBs came back. HB-Cum Salad and Sandman start talking and this is where her name came in. She started telling him all about how she likes guys to take her to dinner, pull her salad under the table, jerk off into it, and then she likes to eat it. Apparently she had a whole long diatribe about how she likes cum. I kept catching pieces of the conversation, but missed most of it. I decided I had had enough of the sour face on HB-Cranky. I bantered with her for a few minutes and traded some more negs with her. When I felt like we had a good enough flow going I just asked, “So how’s the guy that put you in such a pissy mood. Short version, I am not a therapist.” She laughed and asked how I knew. I replied,
Quote:
“Well you have this conflicted look in your eyes. On one hand you are all dolled up in your short black pay attention to me party dress. On the other hand you have this go away look. Problem is you can’t decide what you want. I will tell you want you want though. You want a guy to not take your crap and make you laugh... Like we have been doing. I think you also need a good hug and maybe a spanking... Only offering the hug. And seriously, when was the last time you got laid. Can’t have been recently with that look on your face.”
It was like someone had just put her over their knee and spanked the cranky right out of her. First she looked shocked. Then she lit up, and looked at me longingly as she told me it had been 6 months. She leaned back with a smile on her face and a look of, “How could you have known”. After that she gave me a big hug and had the worse doggy dinner bowl look. We chatted till the bar was clearing out. She went to give me her number and I told her I had a girlfriend. She gave me another hug and said that she hoped to see me around.
That was all I could have asked of the evening was that one girl right there. Getting a number is easy. Getting a girl to a day 2 is easy. SNL, easy. Making a girl snap out of her shit and have a good time that is that wound up and guarded, now that can be tricky. Sandman and I did not open a million sets, but to me it was never about opening a million sets. For me it was about showing the newbies what could be done with some practice and time. Plus, I like opening a couple sets sharing a real moment with them and having a good time instead of bouncing all over the place trying to collect as many “Wins” as possible.
Holding Court and Getting Sets to Open You
Oddly, I actually learned to hold court by working Hired Guns for so long. With Hired Guns you don’t have a lot of time to work on them. You have to “show them” you are high value and draw them into you.
Holding court is about making you and your group the center of all the energy in the room. This starts with you and your wing(s). If you are all laughing and having a good time you create an aura that draws others in. This is were Sandman, Hex, and I came up with the term and style of PUA called "Energy Peacocking".
Men that are confident are typically a little noisy (Frat boys yell, confident men talk and laugh a little loud. Important distinction.) They talk a little louder and laugh a little harder. Your laughter with your friends will draw others in. It shows that you are having fun, are comfortable with yourselves, and that others who enter will probably have fun too. Now you just have to give them a way to enter or an outright invitation.
Once your group is going, it's time to start opening adjacent sets and passers by. You may not even need to unless you see something you really like. By leaving a couple of seats open and everyone seeing what a good time you are having HBs will feel comfortable coming over and just sitting down. If you work it they will stay and become part of your group. If you don’t, they will most likely leave for greener pastures and other HBs will quickly come take the seats, unless you pull some in.
Random guys will almost never come sit at a table with other random guys. Women on the other hand will. Even if opening random woman that sit at your table does not pan out, you are still sitting with women - a little social proof. If it does go well you now have a set that is not likely to wonder off
If you are standing around in a huddled group staring out looking for a set, you are sucking energy right out of the room.
Side Note: Moving targets are tough when you are standing. However, moving targets are easier to stop and hold when you are seated (NO GRABBING).
CHAT