Can anyone pinpoint where I went wrong? I was gaming a very intelligent and socially aware HB10 (scholarship student). All signs pointed to yes.

Week 1: I had noticed her looking at me in uni lectures and smiled when we made eye contact. She approached me about my band shirt. Struck up brief 10 minute conversation. She gave me some IOIs.

Week 2: Caught up with her after class. Ended up hanging out for about 1 hr, where conversation flowed. I left quickly after 1 hr on purpose. She seemed surprised.

Week 3: Caught up with me after class. We grabbed a coffee and hung out for about 1 hr. Walked her to her subway and number closed with a study date. IOIs still strong at this point.

(Note: in the interim, I lost my phone. Practically stood her up. But I explained, and she laughed it off as ‘fate’.)

Week 4: First study date. She’s very composed. Very reserved. Gave me peck on cheek and seemed to withhold kino. That was ok, because she seemed genuinely interested while we hung out.

Week 4 II: The following day, we didn’t talk at all during class. (we tend to play cat and mouse).

However, I found her waiting for me outside the lecture. I said ‘I’m going for a coffee’ and she stood there with a big smile saying – ‘so you want me to come with you?’. We ended up window shopping and strolling through the city. I didn’t tell her where we were going and she didn’t seem to mind. We just walked and talked. Comfort level escalated. She touched my arm as we talked, showing tentative kino. Conversation went well.

Week 5: It’s been a busy week for us both. But she emailed me twice. I only texted her once and she replied promptly. I called her, she missed my call, but called back straight away. Signs good so far.

As our exams drew to a close (yesterday) – I decided to call her and tell her I was going to an art show and if she would like to come along.

I called her to ask what she was doing later in the week. She tells me she is going away for the weekend and I mind-farted. I had no back up response. My game went out that window and didn't even end up asking her to do anything. I negged her alittle about her vacation spot which she seemed slightly defensive about.

Deciding to swap topics, I said her facebook photo made her look ‘angtsy’ (in a completely joking way and a running theme between us) she laughingly said ‘Oh I’m offended!’. Continued to joke for alittle and then I ended the call.

That was that.

To me, that phone call felt ‘wrong’. I dropped the ball. I quickly tried to send her a damage control text joking about her weekend trip. She gave me one short, terse reply, not bad, but not as talkative as usual.

Today, I decided to just be a cave man and tell her ‘I’m going to art show. You come with me.’

I texted her really early in the morning with: ‘Don’t want to wake your post exam sleep. Give me a buzz when you wake. Like to ask something.’

Hours later, no reply.

To the pua veterans and genteels, where did I go wrong? How do I avoid the same mistakes in the future?

I don't know how the last phone call ended badly (seems OK to be via text, but how she said it might be different), but here are a number of possible reasons why she didn't reply back:

- lost phone (like you did)
- didn't get the txt
- got it early, deleted it in her half-asleep state, forgot to respond to it
- read it, forgot to respond to it later
- read it, deleted it by accident, forgot to reply
- thought "f this guy" and deleted it on purpose

I could go on and on, but there could be many, many possible reasons for why she didn't reply to you. It seems like she was pretty into you throughout this whole stage. You didn't seem needy, set time constraints, she gave you multiple IOI's, she indicated that she wanted to go with you for coffee, you were in control, etc etc.

My advice? Give it time. Give her 3-4 days from when you tried to txt her last and send her another txt with a specific goal "hey let's meet up for coffee at our regular spot, 3 PM" AND DO NOT mention or hint at the last txt that she didn't reply to. She might think you're hung up on that last txt, maybe she's testing you to see how you'll reply to her ignoring you after 1 txt and see if you turn needy (like most AFC's do), who knows. Just don't mention her last txt at all and txt her early afternoon (to ensure she's awake) with a direct date/appointment/hang-out time.

The problem is you sent her a damage control text AND THEN another text in the morning inviting her somewhere. It shows that you lost control and that you are now the more "needier" person.

Although your first instinct was to send a damage control text, you should have thought, "What kind of message does sending this damage control text send?"

Okay, so maybe you felt you needed to do damage control because the previous conversation didn't end "right" for you. It's okay and actually good to assess your words and actions and judge that they could have been better. But with women you have to convey that you are confident and that you believe in yourself 100% in everything you do. By sending the damage control text it showed that you didn't believe in yourself. That's an unattractive feature for women.

The best thing you can do at this point is just not contact her. Time will help dissapate the damage you have already done as well as give her some breathing room from your "neediness". Not contacting her will be your new damage control.

I believe that you have built up enough good vibes and rapport with her that after a while she will contact you again. Just wait. And in the meanwhile try to focus your energy on other women. Don't make this girl the center of your universe. Keep us updated.

Clozer

Newest Update:

She called back. I miss call. I called back. She misses call.

Just then she texted me with a long:

"So much angst hmm? I suppose its better than listening to Morrissey. Sorry i've been so hard to get in touch with, it's rehearsal night and things are getting a bit chaotic. So much for my rest day. I'll give you a call as soon as curtains close."

I'm not sure what to make of it.

Decided that I don't want to passively wait around for her call and I've also been busy myself, so I wrote back.

"Don't fret bookworm. End of college term is awful for everyone. I'll speak to you when things settle down for us both."

I might give her a call back once I come back from my trip in 4-5 days, depending on whether her message was just a blow off or not.