The Night in Question: 20 March 2010

It was about 8:30 pm on Saturday night and I had just finished working on a tight deadline project. It was hot and sweaty in the building due to an unseasonably warm day (low 70's for mid-March in Maine is very unseasonable). As I walked back to my apartment, I felt a bit tired but stoked. Saturday nights are always the best nights for sarging in Portland. And I figured with the warm glorious day, the clubs would be packed.

After a quick shower and rocking out to some cool club music while dressing, I headed into the city. I was a bit apprehensive, knowing that I didn't get a chance to do my normal routine of getting into state - a bit of shopping and self-amusement to get the talkative juices flowing. But I felt pumped for the other reasons already mentioned so I pressed on.

It was nearly 10:00 by the time I got to the night club district. First I hit my normal bar/pub place and was immediately disappointed by the crowd. It was nearly empty. There were a few girls in the place, but easily 50% were beastly - they did not even cross 6 on the 1-10 scale. On other nights, even nights when the weather has been horrible, the crowd has been a lot larger and with a lot more hot girls.

After getting a beer, I crossed and opened a 4 set containing the cutest girls in the bar. They were all visiting from Boston and were crashing in an absent friend's apartment. They were management consultants or something, and described their jobs as "babysitting rich old white guys." I ran some game but didn't feel any sparks. They got up to go dance to the lame reggae band that was playing, so I rolled off. Bad body language (I was standing behind the cute one, and she wouldn't turn around), bad posture (I leaned in too much), and no DHV spikes (I didn't use any of my material - I just talked randomly about nothing in particular and probably looked like an AFC). DUH

I went back for another beer and chatted up a cute couple who had been dating a short time. I did a successful cold read on both of them and locked into that set for a while. I successfully guessed that the guy was an accountant, she was a hair stylist (I guessed aesthetician but they gave me that one) and that they had met online and been dating for a few months. The girl was cute and she was giving me IOIs like lots of smiling, laughing at jokes, and touching hair but I wasn't going to steal a cute girl from an obviously nice guy (who was sooo afc it was painful). In his mind, this was the girl he was going to marry and squeeze out little baby accountants with, and who was I to fuck that up. I roll off and head over for another beer.

I know I'm officially now in bad territory. Once I take that third beer, I'm over my self-imposed line and it turns into a night out drinking instead of a night out sarging. But I was feeling horrible from missing my psyche up routine and alcohol was feeling like a good crutch (which it isn't).

I try to start chatting with a group of guys who are choading at the corner of the bar. I've gotten some good energy off other guys in the bar before, and was hoping for a last minute hail mary. Turns out they were just a bunch of assholes. Worse, they were the worst kind of afc's imaginable, young bucks all trying to please a wiry, douchey looking AMOG reclining in a barstool. These guys are lifeless chumps and with no other decent looking girls in the place, I head out.

A spin through a couple of adjacent clubs and not much going on. I'm shocked given the spectacular weather. It's now about 11:30 and it's still in the high 50s, unheard of for march. I get one beer in each place and I'm starting to get buzzed. I fail to open any other sets and just don't have the energy in me. The booze isn't helping.

It's now nearly closing time and I start walking down to the pizza place to sober up some and see if there are any cute drunk girls waiting for slices. I spot a little irish pub that I've never seen before and give it a try. The place is dead but there's a cute two-set in the corner behind a pool table, two 6s. They're both a little thicker than I usually prefer but one had a very pretty face and a hot ass. I talk them up and get kino going with the hot-ass one. I'm a little drunk now and the barback comes and steals my beer from the railing beside us. The other friend splits, leaving me alone with the hotass. She's a little tipsy too. Frankly, I am sketchy on the convo details. She was in her early 30s. I remember her telling me she's a writer for television in LA, and had worked on some hit TV shows but I can't remember the names. I think she said she worked on the Golden Girls but I don't really remember. I successfully escalate kino to the point where we're making out in the corner of the bar when they flick the lights on. We leave hand-in-hand and I agree to walk her back to her hotel.

I stop her along the way and pull her into doorway alcoves to make out. While we're smooching we get accosted by drunk passers by looking for cigs and lights, but neither of us have any smoking accessories so we continue. I don't ask for permission - I just continue walking with her all the way back to the hotel (which was like a mile away - holy shit) and then up the elevator and to her room where stripping of clothing and fucking like rabbits immediately ensues upon the hotel room door closing.

Blissfully we fall asleep, which I do willingly so I can dry out a bit before driving home. I wake up around 4:00 AM and try to extricate myself from her but she is so tangled up in me that I can't even move without waking her up. I get up to piss and try to get some of my clothes back on but she wakes up and asks what I'm doing. I still feel a little tipsy anyway I say fuck it and jump back in bed with her and snooze some more. Around 8:00 I tell her I have to work that day (which is sort of true) but she wants to fuck again so we go another round. I go to the bathroom to clean up and toss a warm facecloth out the door which lands with a wet squishy plop squarely between her beautiful breasts. She is terrified at first and then starts laughing like a hyena - the most shrill annoying laugh I have ever heard. I get her email address and telephone number and head back to my car.

Sets opened: 3, including the awkward dating couple
#-closes: 1
K-closes: 1
F-closes: 1

Lessons learned:

Getting in state is ESSENTIAL for my success in sarging. I have figured out how to do it - it starts at around 4:00 PM and requires a few bounces and 4-5 cute shop girls. It's easy to do, but I just didn't have time that Saturday because I had a short-deadline project I had to finish and had to deliver on Sunday morning. My game sucked, probably because I was tired from working all day (I don't normally work on Saturdays) and just in a bad headstate.

I think some of my disappointment was self-fulfilling. I convinced myself that the amazingly warm weather was going to result in hordes of beautiful women in the night club district and the reality was just the opposite - it was a below average night. Going in with no expectations but a good frame of mind is also key, especially if prone to game-killing disappointment.

Drunk girls are easy lays. They normally band together but when tipsy they are easy to separate and f-close. This particular place was a total dive - not the kind of place I normally meet girls but it might be back on the circuit for future nights.

_________________
If I wrote it, it's © me