This took me 2 hours to write, blasting through my approach anxiety, from AFC to RAFC in 1 night, do read on (TIPS GREATLY APPRECIATED!)

Some background info: I'm a total AFC, been reading the forums for quite some time now, looked at this 2 years ago, and kinda stopped reading/trying somehow (mainly due to HUUUGE approach anxiety), now I've been reading again for 3 months now and I had a big night planned with my AFC friends and I figured I should get off my ass and do some PU, get this thing rolling.

Now I can finally... proudly... call myself a RAFC!
This was the BEST NIGHT EVER regarding PU for me.

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My Field report:
I came to the club with my AFC friends (I'm talking LOUD-ASS MUSIC club, which you can only speak to people with either: shouting, or talking in close proximity). My AFC friends play the usual "get wasted and act crazy"-style. I had HUUUGE approach anxiety, being the only one sober (my AFC friends thought I was weird for not drinking/being drunk, I just said I didn't feel like it, though I really didn't want to drink, because I wanted to work on PU tonight and do something else besides getting wasted for a change).

After a while I met up with an old friend of mine, who's a total natural, so I told him I wanted to learn from him, so as he approached groups, I watched... he conquered. Getting numbers left and right, girls instantly laughing, being attracted to him (kino-ing him and all that stuff). He got a number from a girl and later he went for the girls' friend, HAHA, it totally backfired on him, the 1st girl called him out on it, don't really know how the conversation went, but it was funny to see it all happen before my eyes. I will ask him if the number flaked tomorrow.

After a while something happened that changed the whole course of my night (and probably my life), my natural friend, after getting a number, came up to me and told me: "Alright, now it's your turn" I instantly panicked, heart racing, all that stuff. So as we were walking through the crowd he spotted a really beautiful HB9, blonde, cute face, so he told me: "Alright, go over there and start dancing with her". And something just snapped. Maybe it's because I saw all his successes and had total faith in him, maybe I just had enough of my AFC life and was thinking: "FUCK THIS, IT'S NOW OR NEVER", I don't know, I just didn't think... I just did, my mind was totally blank, I wasn't thinking about how I would fail (outcome independence), I just walked up to her and:

Set 1: Started dancing behind a girl (I don't like this tbh, I see alot of AFC's doing this and to me it just looks like try-hard, everytime I see someone do this I feel embaressed for them, but like I said, something snapped, I didn't think), I finally came to my senses and I just danced around her so I was in front of her, she gave me a "fuck you face", so I gestured with my hands to smile, and she laughed, but wouldn't do a spin for me so I eject (Should've build more rapport/comfort, maybe? She did smile, I liked that, she had a great smile.)

Set 2: Saw a girl from back in college (HB8) (which I hardly spoke to), I was like: "OMG!!! AMBER!!"
her *shock-faced*: "HOW DID YOU KNOW?!"
me: "I know you from back in college!" (should've said: I'm psychic and played that, but oh well)
her: "Oh yeah!!! What's your name again?!"
me: "Guess..."
her: "I really don't know!"
me: "Alright, I'll give you a hint... It starts with an E"
her: "OH YEAH!!! E**** (my name)"
after that I asked her what she did, she asked me what I did so I gave her the "I'm an african slave trader, if you ever need a slave btw, just give me a call."
her: "hahaha, and besides being an african slave trader, what else do you do?"
me: "I save the world, but you know, it's not as good as being an african slave trader."
her: "hahahaa oooh, so you're like Superman with the big S on your shirt?"
me: "yeaah, but sshhh don't tell anyone "
her: "hahah don't worry, I won't!"
after that I didn't know what to say next, so I started dancing with her, gave her a spin and told her I wanted her number, but she wouldn't give it, I told her I still wanted to dance with her, afterwards I gave her my phone, but she wouldn't put in her number. (My wing even tried to help, I pointed at him and told her he was making him sad by not giving me her number)
What happened here actually? I thought it was going pretty well, I kino'd the whole time too btw (loud clubs are great for this).
*My friend, the natural, was talking to the girlfriend the whole time. Great guy, gotta start sarging with him more*

- Some more insta-failed sets: "Hey! How's it going!" her: no response, just walked past.

Set 3: We left this club and as we walked outside I saw 2 girls (an HB6 and an HB5), and one of them had dirt stains on her jacket, I wasn't even filtering anything at this point, so I just came out and said: "Hey, did you know you got dirt stains on your jacket?"
her: "Yeah, I know, but no one notices."
me: "Well, I do"
her: "oh... I don't care." (being all cold-like)
At this point one of my friends asked what we would do now, and I was kinda being the leader and telling them we should hit a club in the city, and I made some jokes, while all of a sudden I see the 2 HB's laughing at my joke, so I reopened them, this time she wasn't as cold as before (social proof? leader of men?), wasn't anything fancy, just some fluff talk, and them being HB5/HB6, I didn't really feel the need to close. (Even though I probably could/should, just for practise)

I go to a different club at this point (parting from my friend, the natural) feeling like I'm the king of the world, my approach anxiety was completely gone at this point, it was the best feeling in the world. (weird huh? I got blown out so many times, no successes whatsoever, but I felt awesome)

Set 4: As soon as I walk into a different club I whispered in an HB9's ear: "You look amazing tonight" and walked past (read somewhere that if you do this and later she comes to see you, it's ON), didn't see her later, but still good to warmup (My AFC friends gave me a face like: "OH NO YOU DIDN'T?! YOU GOT BALLS!", It was awesome).

Set 5: Saw an HB7 all grouchy and mopy faced so I thought I'd try and cheer her up.
me: "Can you do me a favor?"
her: "WHAT? >:("
me: "Smile, it looks so much better on you"
her: "NO"
I eject

Set 6: We went up to the dance floor and I immediately start dancing with a girl, gave her some spins, she smiled and I turned around (with in mind, trying to pull-push), danced with my friends and when I turned around she was gone, oh well.

Set 7: then these HB9 and HB10 came in, and EVERY guy was staring at them, looking at the HB10's ass, and for a good reason, it was awesome. She was dancing like a black chick, even though she was white. 3 guys went and stood next to her, talking about her, putting her on a pedestal, I thought they were gonna open her, I waited for them to open and get blown out, but it just took way too long (approax anxiety? ), gave me time to think of an opener. I knew she wouldn't respond well if I gave her a compliment or something, so I tried a neg I just came up with on the spot with a totally serious face (maybe wasn't the best idea): "Hey... do you think what you are doing is appropriate? (doesn't translate well from dutch to english, but I wasn't hinting to the dancing yet)"
She went: "What is?"
me: "Can't you dance with some class? If you can, show me!"
It totally blew up in my face, she went all crazy: "I CAN DANCE HOWEVER I LIKE!!", so I wasn't going to respond with more negativity, I told her I was just kidding with a big smile and eject.
(I'm not using that one again, haha, was fun though, my AFC friends all thought I had alot of balls for just talking to her, and they all laughed after I told them what I said.)
AFC friend: "Haha! Don't worry about it!"
me: "Of course not! " (Cause the more I got rejected, the better I felt! I was unstoppable!)

Set 8: Later I saw 3 girls dancing behind me, HB9, HB8 and HB6, I figured I'd approach the HB6 first and wanted to try something new, so as she was dancing and kinda backing up, I gently touched her with my back/ass. I turned around and told her: "Hey... touching is a 5 dollar fee.", as she replied: "Yeah? well touching me costs 10 dollars ", I replied with: "Alright, well you know I'll forgive you if you give me a spin", she did, I asked her who she's with, where they know eachother from, and I didn't know what else to say so I eject

Set 9: Saw 2 more girls (HB8 and HB6), and a guy approached them before I could, so I just waited (I knew I should've gone in and AMOGED him, would've been fun, but for some reason I didn't, AA? I dunno, maybe I just didn't want to put an extra handicap on myself by dealing with another person).
After he left I went with something new again: "OMG!!! JENNIFER?!? (random name) HOW ARE YOU!!!" (to the HB8)
her: "OMG! I'm not jeniffer!"
me: "haha, I know, I'm just kidding, what's your name?"
she gave me her name, I asked her friends name too, did the best friends test, and the HB6 went really sarcastic: "wooow, that's really clever",
me: "aaah, now you're just making fun of me"
her: "Yup... do you mind?" (SHITTEST doh!)
me: "Nope, of course not" with a smile (Should've went with the: "YEAH I MIND! Now I don't like you anymore! I'm divorcing you! etc"-roleplay
kinda went dead after that, didn't know what to say again, so... I eject
After reading back through this, I think the friend went sarcastic on me, because I opened the HB8 and was jealous.

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After all this sarging I was totally exhausted from all the dancing/talking, so I went home.

I noticed changes throughout the night too, at first when I would do a spin I'd lay out my hand, waiting for her to give me her hand, with little succes, after a while I just grabbed the arm and spun her around, they usually laughed while spinning.

I still haven't grasped the: "Make the ho say no" thing, I eject way too earlier, but after a while with that deadly silence and the chicks just standing there watching me it's soooo awkward (And they're not reopening, they're just standing there, probably cause I haven't DHV at all and they're thinking: "so... what do you want now?"
How to solve: NEED MORE FLUFF TALK MATERIAL

My AFC friends were bitching all night about how the clubs were awful, crowded, too hot, etc, didn't affect me in anyway, cause I was walking on clouds, but I'd rather go with people that actually have fun.

I'm really proud of myself, I drank like 3 beers in total over the course of the whole night (Yeah, I know, weak, blabla, but usually when I go out I come home totally wasted, so it's a big step up). I always used to stay with my AFC friends in a secluded group (having fun, but totally isolated from other people), after a while I just went: "FUCK THIS, I CAME HERE, SOBER, TO DO SOME PU", so I told my friends I'd be right back and went sarging solo. The AFC friends weren't helping my game in any way. Throughout the night I went off as I saw sets and approached them, I never felt right about leaving my friends behind and going off solo, but now it just feels normal if I see a set to approach.

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Self-reminders (Lessons I learned tonight):
- Nothing from the outside can make me unhappy or make me feel like crap, the only thing that makes me feel like crap is if I dissapoint myself by not approaching.
> REJECTION IS BETTER THAN REGRET
> "THE WORST CONVERSATION IS BETTER THAN THE BITTER REGRET OF NOT APPROACHING" -arkady39
- Always ask for a number (well, not ASK, obviously. "YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER!"), no matter how crappy the set goes, just to blow through that anxiety too (even though it's small at this point), I was having so much fun I forgot to ask for it and eject too early.
> MAKE THE HO SAY NO
- 3 second rule is the best fucking rule in the world, it's not a guideline, it's a rule, I changed it to 2 seconds, 1 second to notice a set, and 1 second walk over there and to think of an opener while walking, after that I'm thinking waaay too much and my heart starts beating like crazy (When I went through the last sets I could wait for 5 minutes and still open (waited for guys to leave), but at the start of the night use the 2 second rule)
- I used to think of every set as to how the set would give me really angry faces and tell me to piss off, I noticed this usually isn't the case as long as you keep it friendly, just go in and see what happens, after I adopted this my AA was completely destroyed.
> DON'T THINK ABOUT THE OUTCOME (outcome independence)
> WHEN YOU SEE A GIRL AND THINK OF AN OPENER, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT AND FILTER IT, JUST SAY IT! (Even if you're thinking: WOW, she's got a great... *out loud* "WOW, You've got a great ass!")
- DHV and Qualify more (Isn't qualification a DHV by itself? Most qualifications (if not all) are pretty damn cocky things to say)
- HAVE FUN! It was so much fun today, can't WAIT for the next time, but can't wait for results to come though, all in due time. Practise makes perfect, and that's what I'm aiming for (I might never make it, but I'll have a damn good time trying to get it).
- It doesn't matter HOW you open, everything opens, I even opened a chick with: "Hey, got a sigaret?", and could basicly FLUFF talk.
- NEED MORE FLUFF TALK MATERIAL, Where are you from?, What do you do? (Hobbies, work)
> AND BUST HER ON ANYTHING YOU CAN, OR PULL WITH: "OMG!! I LOVE THAT PLACE/JOB, I'M GONNA ADOPT YOU AS MY LITTLE SISTER!"


Now reading through this, it's weird... it just doesn't look like anything I would do.... or should I say; anything the OLD me would do

Great work, bro! Approaching is a starter and this is all about learning by doing. The most important thing, though, is to have fun while you're doing it.

And I'm going to give you a tip on number-closing. It's generally really easy.

I bet you know all about the false time constraint stuff, because that shit is golden. Learn to leave and numbers aren't a problem.

Point your cellphone at the girls torso and say "give me your number" and usually you'll get the number, because having something pointed at your torso is uncomfortable and by being told "give me your number" the girl is given an easy way out of the uncomfortable situation.

Close it with something like "Great! I'll call you whenever I'm drunk and lonely!" to joke it off. Staying around the set for a minute or two after the number close is generally a good thing as well.

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Otherwise, I don't have much to give. I personally have a hard time building up from there and I'm currently working on kino-escalation. I've had my fair share of successes and relied mostly on my confidence and a "I don't give a fuck" attitude.

Club game, however is something I need to get better at. I find it harder to get under the radar at night, which is probably because I'm used to dealing with one-sets instead of larger groups.

Enough rants from me. Good going, bro! Keep up the good work!

Aaah yeah, I completely forgot about false time constraints, didn't use them on any of my sets, I also didn't quite go under the radar I believe, they gave me the feeling that they all knew I was there to pick them up, I need to work more on that willingness to walk away and false time constraints, so it doesn't feel like a pickup.

You're right though, once I adopted the "I don't give a fuck" (outcome independence), I was just on fire, and my AA was completely destroyed. (My heart was still beating faster after seeing sets and waiting for more than 3 seconds, but I had no problem going in whenever I felt like it).

and I'm gonna try that number close, thx for the tip!

I really do see this as a game, and me being the player. I realized that when you start your evening you have this going on in your mind:
"Should I open them? yes/No?" (ALWAYS ANSWER YES, DOESN'T MATTER IF THERE'S 5 GUYS AND 1 GIRL)
If you hesitate for more than 3 seconds the window closes and they either leave/walk past you/or your AA get's the best of you.
> "He who hesitates masturbates" (It's great to really see how these proverbs work at first hand, it really cements them in your mind, and this is what you want if you want to become natural at it)

But after a few sets (Doesn't matter if they close or even go well for that matter), you go into Social butterfly (or SUPER mode as I'd like to call it), and your mind changes to:
"There's a set! LETS PLAY MOTHERFUCKAA!!!!"

_________________
An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Hey Oldman!

Great post, nice to see how you overcame your AA. Be sure to follow up as soon as possible, because if you let a lot of time pass you will slowly start slipping back into AA mode.

Also try to think of something to fluff talk a bit more. I recommend thinking of something that really interests you and you are knowledgeable about, rather than finding a topic here which you might not relate to. However, if you cant think of anything just throw any topic out there, keep the ball rolling!

Would you happen to have a few examples of fluff talk that usually get the conversation going in a fun direction?

And what really interests me is psychology, but doesn't it seem a little boring to be talking about that after the first few minutes of meeting? Isn't it better to save that talk for isolation to make a connection and to open myself up

_________________
An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Anything is good fluff talk, no? Sure, it has to be a little interesting... but anything can be turned into something interesting.

Psychology can definitely be interesting.

If you get a response from "What makes you interesting?" you can work from there. "What!? Golf? I love that!" or "God... what? No. That's terrible. It just ruins my prime-time TV-watching."

Anything. Read up on the news and what-not.

And by the way; nice avatar. I'm a huge fan. ;D

Yeah, I guess what it comes down to is just practise, and thx I'm also a huge fan of MGS

_________________
An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Awesome, dude. Just awesome. It's all about maintaining that level of happiness and motivation... and minimising the regrets you might have for not doing/trying what you want. Seeing the Matrix, break in the clouds... whatever you call it, it starts happening eventually if you keep applying what you learn in-field and don't give up.
So true. One of my problems was never knowing how to open, like I used to worry too much about what to say and how to follow-up, and would often chicken out. But you can open with just about anything (appropriate for small talk with a stranger) since it's only meant to start a conversation, then you can transition into something else and take it from there. I think this is the point of that "say hello to everyone" newbie mission, to make you realise you don't need any amazing lines or routines to just meet more people.

It's spelled "Cigarette", by the way.

Yeah, I'm still having problems transitioning to a worthwhile topic of conversation (e.g. building attraction), but it's amazing to see the change, like last week I had problems just saying "hi" to people, and now I couldn't care less what people think of me. I also notice I automatically filter less, I was making small-talk with hired guns without even realising it, later when I walked away I was thinking: "That's weird, and so unlike me... I like this new me "

and thx, sigaret is Dutch

_________________
An approach a day keeps the guru away.