| LONG because im not sure what is relevant and wat isn't.
I was wondering I could get some help analyzing and interpreting things as well as how I can improve and how i should proceed next.
I met this girl, hb7.5, first week of college and for our intents and purposes, we'll call her alice. she was in one of my classes that met once a week from 6-9. I would sometimes get food with her after class because i was hungry and didn't want to eat alone. a few weeks later, i got an invite to a frat formal and asked alice to go with me. she was pretty excited about it.
at the formal, we got dinner with the frat guys and the other freshmen. originally i told her to bring $15 because thats wat the brother told me it would cost. turns out it was 20 so i paid for both our meals (reasonable?). i knew a bunch of the people there so conversation with them and her was good. she was pretty shy and quiet towards them though because she didn't know any them. a lot of drinking was involved. we saw a girl who was wearing the same dress as her and i negged her for not being original throughout the night.
we get on the bus the frat hired with some of my friends and talked about drinking, partying etc. this was probably the peak of our drunkness. i skip a lot a kino and had my arm around her while we're looking at vacation pictures on her camera. she told me this was the most drunk she has ever gotten and i neg her on being an alcoholic and ask if she plans on having any more later because i don't want to lug her body back to her dorm. she says she would because she trusts me to not leave her passed out on the street and goes on about how she isn't a hardcore partier and not slutty (considering we're both at a top 15 college, and that she only goes out at most, once a week, i believe her and this influences how i act later on).
we get to the boat and we're both sobered up . then 2-3 straight hours of grinding ensue with a 5-10 min break every so often. i didn't want to start hooking up with her there because i wasn't sure how haha and because earlier she said she was pretty tame. this was probably the weakest part of the night for me.
music was loud so not much conversation. didn't really know any of the songs. we went out on the deck at one point to cool down and i wussed out on making a move because i wasn't sure how and because of what she said on the bus.
also, what really threw me off was not getting hard while grinding. i mean she was hot and everything but back home, that was generally frowned upon so i guess now it doesn't happen in that setting? i could tell she was not too happy about it and may even have been bored? but she was more into it at one point when i did for a bit.
night ends, we're on the bus, both pretty tired. conversation was pretty scarce but i don't think it got awkward at any point. i tried kinoing but she shifted away so i gave up. i asked if she had any plans for later because my friends might be having a post game at my dorm. she says she told her friend she would go post game with her at her dorm and invited me so im like alright cool. we go to her dorm (a mile away from mine). apparently none of her friends are back so we're just sitting on her floor, chilling. once again, i fail and don't make a movie. i kinda knew what to say and what to do but i didn't think the vibe was there. we weren't close enough, we were sitting on the floor, kinda disappointed about the lack of post game (even though i was pretty thrilled to be in there alone. just didn't know wtf to do). her roomate came back at one point with her date and alice commented on how they would probably be needing the room. i laugh a little and say alright im gonna head out then. im pretty disappointed in myself and as im on my way to the door, i grew half a pair and turned and told her that her dress looked better on her than the other girl and that im glad i took her. then she goes in for a kiss with no initiation on my part (not a friendly one, lots of tongue). i pull away first and said goodnight and headed out.
then everything turns to shit. we grab dinner on a day we don't have late class together. the conversation was pretty boring and i was feeling a little sick that day. hug at the end. then that weekend my friend told me he saw her at a party dancing with some other guy. that gets to me a little but hey, so she likes dancing.
one night after class, i pussy out and don't ask her right after class and logistics of leaving the building kinda screwed me over. instead i text her a few min later and ask if she wants to grab food. she calls me out on it and i tell her i thought i'd meet her outside but didn't see her. she says she's at her dorm but she'll head out now. we meet up for food, conversation was alright and i asked her to the next formal i was invited to.
this one's dry and we're with people from my dorm. im not that close to them so im (and alice) are not too incorporated in their 'group' and its kind of awkward. only a few people are grinding, rest are in a circle. i grind with her for a while, again, not that 'exciting' and eventually she just stops. then one of my dorm friends starts grinding with her. at first i don't react because he's been doing that with everyone so i go join the dance circle with my other dormates. second time, i kind of laugh at them and then he pulls me and her together so i start grindg with alice but then she stops it again. third time, i had to go answer a call, come back and they're at it again. at this point, i jokingly punch his arm and say 'alright get out' (bad decision? i knew him pretty well and we kid around alot). dance floor the rest of night was pretty awkward. idk how to not grind and just regular dance and she doesn't either. we end up sitting at the table, just making meaningless conversation. i kino a little, her reaction is neither negative nor was it positive. at one point i tell her i was kidding about telling my friend off and she says she knows. we head back, she takes the last seat on the coach bus so i stand next to her, driver doesn't want me up and puts me in the front passenger seat. bus ride pretty quiet and i'd assume awkward for her. it was just weird for me (could make this into a funny story, driver would rant on how gangster kids dress with saggy clothes etc). we get back to campus, i ask if she's still up for going out and she's like sure. i bring her to a frat party but at that point they're all out of drinks, she says she'll head back so i decide to walk her back. we get to her dorm and she's in a hurry to get her keys and card ready. i decide to not go for anything and stop and say im heading back, not gonna head in this time. get a brisk hug and a quick thank you i had a good time tonight.
what happened in terms of interest level, IOI, etc throughout the course of all this? salvageable and how? do i grab dinner with her again after night class and just act as thought nothing happened? or should i just let it go for now and call her sometime after the break (we won't have the same class after though). and if we don't get food after, should i say something like 'oh i would but im meeting up with some friends in town for a birthday but have fun over the break'.
how do i stop pussying out? how do i go for a kiss when the conversation is on something lame? how do i escalate on the dance floor?
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