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FIELD REPORT
DATE: 03/10/09
LOCATION: CLAPHAM COMMON SOUK BAR, LONDON
WINGS: Justin, Guni
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To say that I’ve been going through a rough patch game wise is a considerable understatement. After months of a busy work season followed by long hours and months of studying for the latest set of accounting exams the only game I had run were drunken shambles of approach peppered with amazing incidents of success without effort. I had let myself get lazy and put pressure on myself to succeed culminating in me sliding down the slippery slope of AFC attitudes until, once again I was back where I started. AA appeared to be a colossus standing over me, and women of any quality above WarHogs (WH) became too good for I was unworthy.
This is, of course, complete bullshit. I am a good-looking sophisticated guy with plenty to offer. It all about learning to project the truth.
I had made a pledge for a sober month and hardcore gaming as many nights as possible using straight up mystery method where I start again from scratch.
We’ve been bouncing around all night and after 2 nights before this of game and day sessions as well we’re two things: Firing sharp and fucking tired. This is a weird combination. As you know from experience, being social gets your blood pumping and suddenly you’re awake and running through routines like you’ve been pounding shots of redbull at the bar. However, if you aren’t in set then you feel like you’re carrying lead bars in your eyelids. That’s us. Three droopy eyed guys surfing a bar’s social scene like demented sleep walkers. At least we would be, if we were opening. Guni’s telling me he’s not interested in the women in the bar, Justin’s knackered and I suffer from AA.
Souk Bar is cool in a way that I imagine your average LA Bar to be. It attracts young professionals looking for a night out that doesn’t involve getting hammered, dancing like a fool or passing out in your own sick. The music are the lightly melodical beats you’d get a chilled budha bar gig with the volume set at a level that needs you to speak up but not scream. Drinks retail at a reasonable but not cheap level, there’s basic middle eastern motif for furniture, and incense burns on a large pillar at the end of the bar. But most importantly, all the women are solid 8’s at least. Walking in opened my eyes wide, I’d found my Shangri Lah, eden, the fountain of youth, paradise, whatever you want to call it – it was here and I was standing inside.
We cruise to the back and get some drinks in and as we talk and discuss the lack of energy I spy a two set nearby HB8 brunette and HB7 blonde. I put my empty glass behind them and open. “Hey guys, does this bar have a downstairs?” (leaning away, body side on, smile, tone low, pace slow, volume loud)
Immediately the brunette is firing IOIs. We talk about the venue and how much we like it. I body rock and then get them on the best friend test. They love it and HB8 is smiling and asking me about my accent while we all fluff talk. As things progress, HB7.5’s body language shuts down, she crosses her arms, looks around, frowns, and leans against the wall. She wants me to piss off but HB8 wants me to stay. OK, switch tactics. “Do you guys believe in mind reading?”
I perform on the blonde. I want her to open up her body language while I try to DHV the negative attitude out of her. I spin her and lock-in against the wall she’d been leaning on. HB8 practically falls over laughing and her face is one of amazement as I begin the gambit. I run the routine on HB7 and switch to the HB8 on the big 1-50 guess (this is what I usually try to do on two sets. BTW it’s almost always 37, if you get it wrong then it’s 25). HB8 is so keen she’s leaning between me and HB7 while I’m trying to explain the whole process.
Now I’m talking to HB8 discussing body language and she’s asking me question upon question about me but HB7 seems to actually hate me. I’ve ruined her night. I’ve started to hit on her friend and her friend loves it while she’s lonely and bored. I need a wing but the guys have moved on to another set and I can’t see them. She bitch tests me. “Can you take our photo?” she says forcing a camera into my hands.
“That’s fine,” I say, “but we’re going to take three pictures. One will be serious, one will be crazy, and one will be sexy”.
“No!” scowls the blonde “Just a normal picture!”
*SHIT* This girl is good, I may lose this…
As soon as I’ve handed her the camera I pull out my own and take a picture of all three of us and do the three photo. HB7 refuses point blank to do it but HB8 is keen and I get my trophy shots with her and she’s desperate to see them. I’m about a second away from flicking through them and saying we look good together when HB7 makes an announcement.
“Okay Sarah, this is what I’m going to do,” says a scowling HB7 to my brunette, “I’ll…(lost over music)…”
“Uggghhhhhmmm…” says HB8 a little confused
I recognise a potential blow out when it’s approaching, I can see that the blonde is saying she’s going to leave us to it while she goes somewhere else. It’s a blatant cock block tactic, to force HB8 into a decision. I’m gutted for her. She wants to stay with me, but she can’t piss off her friend, who she will have to spend more time with than me. The girls start a conference and I spy Guni and wave him over.
“Talk to me!” I say when he comes over “I need to look social to preserve my value!”
HB8 turns to me. “Eeerrrmmm… we’ve got to meet our friends.. down the road…” In hind sight she wanted me to number close her but mistakes need to be made in order to learn… They left.
As we’re leaving the bar I spy them sitting by the door talking over a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Guni jabs me “dude... facebook close – you have her picture!” I circle round and approach from 11 o’clock, go down on my haunches as they’re sitting on small poofs, and cut in. HB8 is eager to give me her details, HB7 says “yeah, I have a facebook profile” and stares at me. “Well… are you going to give it to me?”… she relents and tells me a name I don’t even intend to search for. I mean, really, what a cow. What is it about women that makes them lose all kinds of basic manners when they’re fucked off?
Learning Points
1. Approaching when sober and tired.
2. Need to work on 2-sets and dealing with the obstacle.
3. Learn how to deal with a bitchy obstacle early. Very early.
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