Following on from this FR/LR
used-bfd-and-closed-hb8-in-front-of-her-bf-vt51928.html I went on another date with this HB8 last night (Tuesday) and had a number of constraints to bear in mind, but also I have already slept with this girl years ago and just recently got back in contact through Facebook. The constraints were that she was out with me without her BF knowing whom she lived with. Her BF is a Krav Maga instructor and was teaching tonight and would be back by 11pm.
So, I met her at the station where she picked me up in a taxi and took me to a restaurant.
We have history, so rapport is no issue, no need for canned openers or anything like that. All just chit-chat and making her laugh. As we get out the taxi which was literally a one-minute journey from where she picked me up, I say to the taxi driver, "Goodbye, nice knowing you... all of that one minute," to get her laughing/smiling from leaving the taxi as we walk towards the restaurant, in order to break down any initial barriers there might be... as we hadn't been on a date for about three or four months!
We sat down opposite sides of quite a large table (American themed restaurant), so it was tempting to lean in. So, using as much inner game as possible, I adopted a posture that was relaxed and leaning back, almost diagonal in my seating position rather than facing forward, so that my back was facing the vertex where the wall behind me meets the pillar to the right of me. And crossed my left leg over my right leg so that my left knee rested on the bench left of me. Bit descriptive, but hopefully that paints a picture. I looked chilled and leaned away from her, not directly facing her basically, but head turned towards her obviously. This is a technique Mystery advocates to make the girl lean in towards you. And she did exactly that. She was constantly with both elbows on the table, leaning in and we chit-chatted away like that at length. Every so often I leaned in towards her and adopted a similar position to her vis-a-vis NLP, but not for too long.
Most of the chit-chat centred around her. She told me about her recent operation on her right ear which was diseased almost to her brain resulting in the whole of the inner ear having to be removed and grafted over her brain (OUCH!
). And she told me about how she'd had a bizarre last weekend when she went to visit her 48-year-old BF's mate in prison who is doing life for murdering a 19-year-old apparently for no reason.
And while she was telling me that last story, I was envisaging going back to her place before 11pm and her BF arrives home from Krav Maga class early and ... well, use your imagination, it wouldn't be nice!
But she said lately, it has been really bothering her about the age gap. Understandably so. She's 22, he's 48! Now, I'd already had this conversation with her several times before and used the age gap on top of everything else as BFD as per the other FR/LR. So, I just continued the BFD by emphasising her own points that she was making herself. She was BFD'ing him herself anyway! Aside from the age gap, he shows complete lack of enthusiasm for anything she wants to do, he shoots her down when she talks about getting a job, and worst of all, he's in court in October for a £16million fraud and is likely to be going to jail! That last reason though is the one reason she can't finish it with him now so close to the trial, because she cares about him a lot and knows that it would destroy him if she left him beforehand. I respect that.
But I did say that if I was with a girl, I'd encourage her no end to get a job, have a career, go to college, reach her aspirations. I said I like a girl who is ambitious, which is true, and she is ambitious. So I was eliciting values, a Mystery technique.
I do the cube test on her. Her cube is black. Her horse is black! She really does love black! Her ladder is high and inside the cube. I tell her she wants to progress up, and she wants to do it now. Ties in with what she was saying about wanting a job, but her BF hinders her like a sugardaddy. Her horse is angry and beautiful - I say she's into bad boys that look good. She concurs. Her cube is massive - I say she has a big ego. She says, "I try to hide that! Can't believe you tricked me into revealing I have a big ego!" She's impressed. Everything the cube test said seemed to match perfectly with her life. The horse was in the distance. I say that could be because she feels distant from her current BF or the guy she really wants she can see on the horizon. She says it's probably both - I take that as an IOI by the way she says it.
A little later I do my magic dice trick:
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/dice-play/ ... nTrick.htm - She's impressed.
I said a guy and a girl should have lots in common, and that's why we've always got on - even when we got back in contact on Facebook, it was like we hadn't been apart all those years - she nodded in agreement - IOI. I knew her favourite colour is black from the cube test, so, given my favourite colour is black, I say "a guy and a girl should even have the same favourite colour, what's BF's favourite colour?" She replies, "Beige." WTF!? LOL - what sort of a favourite colour is beige!? It's the most boring colour in the world! I take amusement in this openly and she find it's funny too - more BFD, and more rapport/laughing, which is important to keep any girl's interest up - she has to be entertained, and making her laugh every so often (or even constantly if possible!) is key.
She tells me how everything in her BF's house is beige, walls, etc. And he gave her one room - the guest bedroom - to decorate in her own colours. She doesn't do it black or dark surprisingly though. She does it bright yellow! I use this as an opportunity. I say, "Let's move on from here... I've got an idea, show me your room that you decorated." She replies, "I thought about taking you back earlier," IOI central!! "But it's too risky, I have a spy." And she tells me all about this neighbour who is always out front talking to hoodies and dealing drugs and spies on her and prob would tell her BF if he saw another guy go in the house! Don't get me wrong, this girl is HOT, and she's a really nice girl. But she's got herself mixed up with some real bad guy here. 48-year-old Krav Maga instructor, has mates in prison for murder, is on charge of major fraud, lives in a cul-de-sac opposite a drug dealer. Am I digging my own grave here by dating her behind his back!?
So anyway, she laughs at me for considering going back to hers when her BF is due back at 11pm - she says, "You really do like danger, don't you?" and affirms what I had already been thinking re the BF's mate inside for murder, etc.
We move on to another pub. After she finishes her fag outside, I grab her hand and kiss her. She kisses me back but I sense a tiny bit of hesitation, not sure if I was just imagining it or what. We go inside and get drinks. And we sit down in a corner. Every guy is eyeing her up. A hot slim blonde in a little dress with a tattoo on her left calf and a tattoo on her left thigh. She's like a Barbie doll rock chick. So I have to demonstrate charisma for the benefit of the guys in there - girls can sense the respect that a guy they're with commands in a place. So by earning respect by simply the way I walked and positioned myself in relation to her, I gained her endorsement too. I pointed out a seat in the corner, and she quickly leads the way. Quickly realising this looks like follow the leader, I speed my pace so I'm alongside her rather than following her.
We've now kissed and we're now sat next to each other rather than opposite, so I can engage lots of kino while still chatting. She goes on BFD'ing her own BF again. Fine by me! However, she was BFD'ing him that much, I had to shut her up occasionally by kissing her mid-sentence!
As we chatted, I moved the conversation towards me and her rather than her and her BF. I asked her why she would take such a risk to be out with me. She says, "I don't know what it is, but something just keeps drawing me to you." IOI! I say, you're stunning, pretty, intelligent - you must have other guys interested in you. This is getting her to affirm in her own head by saying it why she is out with me and not another guy - she says, "All the other guys are idiots - you have a personality."
I go to the toilet and return and have some banter with the bar staff on the way back which she can see, a bit of DHV I suppose, but I was just trying to obtain an ashtray and napkin so I could show her a magic trick. I show her
http://bartendermagic.com/bartricks/trickcentertear.asp - She is mightily impressed to the point of being astounded! She says, "That is the best magic trick I have ever seen. It's impossible, can you really read my mind?" I try to play it down as if it was easy and move on to something else (as Mystery says to do), but she dwells on how amazing the trick was. So while she is in this momentary euphoria, I go to kiss her with more passion, and ask her what she really wants. She says, "I could really see myself being with you." BINGO!
Although my game was mainly natural, the use of canned material - some IDV and magic tricks - definitely helped move things along with the final trick scoring the big bonus! As she dropped me off in a taxi back at the station, she said to me she will try and get away from her BF for an entire night by saying she's going to visit her family.
I know many will say that would be morally wrong on both her part and my part, but it's clear she doesn't want to be with him. She's only delaying finishing it with him because of his court trial. She says that. She says she's made the decision in her head that she doesn't want to be with him, but she also said she wants to be sure of me - that if she left him, I would be there for her and she wouldn't end up with no one. I said no one can tell where we'd be in six months time if we got together, but I told her I'd definitely have every intention of making things work permanently.
And that was that! Any feedback, suggestions for improvement, if this helped you, etc. all welcome!
Thanks,
Neo
CHAT