Well, ‘twas my first night sarging. Went out with a 2 mates of mine, one of them was with his girlfriend and the other was on a date… Thus rendering me rather alone. It wasn’t really my plan to be on the sarge yet as I don’t quite think my confidence is ready. I’ve been reading ‘The Game’ ‘The Mystery Method’ and ‘The Rules Of The Game’ and although I need more time I thought fuck it. I’m good looking, well dressed, I know the basic techniques, I’m in a band so I must be confident! Well… Here’s what happened.

Set #1 So we hit bar number one and as my mate Daren (The one with the girlfriend) is at the bar waiting to be served, a 7 taps him on the shoulder and says “Hey, if I give you my money do you mind getting me my drink?” (There was a huge cue) “Sure” he said and took her money… I hesitated. Then thought, fuck it, here goes… “That’s usually my trick haha” I said. She laughed and turned to me “Well, it’s the only way for it I guess when the cues are like this!” I continued to humour her for 5 minutes or so but I noticed my eyes were flickering around the room a bit, I was choosing my words too carefully and I was getting nervous. She told me her and her mates were out all night, and I’d got a couple of vague IOI’s so I probably should said “Hey, I’ll tell you what. Gimme your phone number and I’ll text you and find out where you’re at in a couple of hours…” But I bottled it. Said goodbye, never saw her again. Ok, not too bad I know. Wasn’t too bothered, but it all got worse from there…

Set #2 So we’re get to bar number two and Daren and his girlfriend, Leroy (my other mate) and his piece were also dancing on the dance floor. I felt obliged to join in though a slight inconvenience. A few songs in and I spotted a cute lil 3 set in the corner taking pictures. I sneaked up behind one of the girls and muscled in on there picture and pulled a cheeky face. When it came up on the camera they loved it and asked me to take one of the 2 of them. So I did. “What are your names” I asked. They were Holly, Ruby and Charlotte. We exchanged a few bits of small talk but they were dancing so I decided to shut up and join in with them dancing (I’m not too bad at dancing, reasonably good.) next thing I know I was getting the opposite of IOI’s whatever they are. They were giving me terrible body language and I could tell my presence made them uncomfortable… Next thing I know they fucked off…

Set #3 Ok, set number 3 was another 3 set by the bar. I used the opener “Hey, don’t I know you?” on one of the girls. She gave an awkward look and just said “No” I said “Really? So you’re not Robyn then?” “No” she said again. “Ok, fair enough. You look like someone I met last week. Anyway, I’m Marroni what’s your name?” she kinda laughed awkwardly with her mates and gave a nervous smile. These were clearly the kind of girls not comfortable meeting new people. She ignored me and hesitated for aged then slipped out a feeble “Steph” I was like “Ok, cool, nice to meet ya Steph” I then asked her mates for their names. One of them looked at Steph with a face that said “Who the fuck is this guy? We don’t even know him!?” and the other one totally ignored me… I thought fuck this and I went outside.

So, I’m outsides. I bump into a good mate of mine called Carl. Next thing I know he’s being accused of robbing some girls phone and everyone is getting a bit pissy with him and having a go. A few of us dive in to diffuse the situation. I spoke to the girl who’s phone had gone missing. I was the most pleasant out of everyone involved “Just go away for fucks sake!” she said… I was like “Wtf? I’m trying to be nice darling. I’m trying to help you out here” “yeah I know you are” she said. “But you’re just really annoying! Rabbiting on.”… So I left…

I fucked off for about 5 minutes and I must admit. I cried. About 3 months ago my girlfriend of 2 and a half years finished with me and ever since I’ve just been so lonely. Watching my mates get all the birds and me missing out on the action. I’m sick of it, I really am… I wanna be desired. I wanna be loved and accepted. N’ I wanna have sex and be able to brag about it to be quite frank!

As the night moved on, I tried more girls and got more rejections… Don’t get me wrong. Some of them seemed very pleasant indeed! But for some reason, they lost interest. I also bumped into more old friends, they all had hot girlfriends or dates… Was a truly awful night and I need you guys to help me out. I’m a failure. I can talk the talk, I’m all loud clothes, cheeky smile, good looks, charm and swagger… But clearly is not enough. I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing wrong.

Bottom line - I’m going out this Saturday for my mates birthday. 7 of us are going and a couple of mates girlfriends are coming out and one single girl is tagging along. I want her. We’re all going back to Darens afterward for an all nighter and I wanna get into her pants… Or of not her, somebody else I pick up who’s a 7 or higher. How the fuck do I avoid the rejection and succeed in my efforts to pull?

HELP!!!

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"Style never goes out of fashion"

I think you're on the right path man. You shouldn't get discouraged, because of one night of failure. I predict you are going to do quite well actually, because you are willing to jump in with very little knowledge. I probably went through 20 dvd's and 30+ books before i approached and still sucked. It's called the conditioning period.

My advice is to read more material and have a good story or two to demonstrate higher value and build attraction.

Also i would say your objective right now should be to learn how to hook sets. Don't worry about pulling girls home yet, if you're just starting. Keep practicing opening and stacking forward until you hook sets. When you can do that consistently you can internalize and move towards the next skill.

But you got my admiration for going through this.

Take it easy bro.

Looks like you are already doing some things the right way. You are going out there and are approaching women. That's great. You need to improve your approaches (Hey do I know you.... not too good), but you are going somewhere.

Now, pick up is just like anything else. It takes a while to be good at it. Just because you pick up a golf club and drive a few balls doesn't mean you can play like the pros. However if you want to play like the pros, you will need to someday pick up that golf club. Now just be patient and practice. Picking up has a lot of steps to it. Take them one at a time. Open, attract her, let her attract you, build confort... etc.

Don't expect to get laid with every women you talk to and don't expect to get the number of the first 3 girls you have talked to.

I would greatly advise you to work on your 'inner game'. On your motivation in this, on how you view yourself, what are your limitation and where are you going as an individual. Looks like you had a tough time and getting this stuff in proper gear will help you lots.

Cheers!

Hey man u did great. U approached sets by urself and it was ur first time...

after reading pua books for the first time ,me and my friend went to a club. So we were so psyched to use all the cool stuff we read. We went inside and saw all the girls, we both kinda froze. That night we didnt open one set and hell we didnt even talk to each other.

So compared to that u did hell of a job by urself. After one more night out like that my friend gave up on all the pua stuff saying this will never work. But i kept going out and interacting with other people. Now i can say i am getting better.

Try to meet up with other puas from ur area. This will help u a lot. This is really important. Atleast it will make the whole experience more fun.

I was watching some video. And they were talking abt the importance of mindset..

U want ur mindset to be like this.. Either u will get the girl or get more experience to improve myself.

Its better to think abt rejection this way rather than take it personal .


Don_ k

keep updating...

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I don't conquer, I submit.
Giacomo Casanova

Hey, cheers you guys! Didn't expect responses so fast. I've figured my main points for consideration are better openers, inner game, confidence and conversational fluency and most of all demonstrating higher value and conveying the belief that I am the AMOG. I've had many confidence and self asteem issues in the past and I'm slowly but surely getting over them. So, any tips in particular for Saturday? (Tomorrow night) this girl who's tagging allong is hot and we'e the only two singletons so it'll make things easier I guess. But I gotta make myself desireable... How??

_________________
"Style never goes out of fashion"

Lets analyze your night from the start.
Bad, because she was giving you an invitation and you didnt pursue it. When you are begining this PUA journey I encourage you to pursue every opportunity to see where you can take it and what happens. Thats the only way you'd learn.


Good move. I'll try this one !!
You should have left, that way they would have liked you for not being needy and you always had the option of catching them later in the evening.


Bad move if you dont have good body language and dont have something great to say after that. For you, if you have already established social proof in the room. (be seen with another hot girl) Then you could use this opener in a funny way.


I am hitting my head on the table listining to you talk like this.
You accepted defeat and surrendered your power.


Mistake: Trying to seek rapport before building any attraction.
You were trying to plough through !!


Stay out of trouble. Why the fuck did you jump into a situation like that !!!
Ofcourse she would say this, what else do you expect her to say.
Drop the word darling from your dictionary because your game is not there yet to use words like darling, sweety, honey infield.


This is just the begining. If you arent man enough to play in the real world then dont even try pick up.


Lonely!! if your life depends on one girl than believe me every girl will leave you. STOP BEING NEEDY
Whatever !!
Thats Ok, you are just starting off. One advise here is get into a conv. mode. Be talkative before going infield to pick up chicks. Talk to the bar tender, the security guy, the cab driver everyone.


Its a learning process and in 6months you would have more girls than you would be able to handle.
With no game you'll have no gal. Good looks dont count if you cant seduce.
Before even seeing or knowing the girl you want her !! Thats what I call a scarcity mentality. You have approved her before even knowing her !!
Forget about getting into someones pants for now. Instead concentrate on approaching sets, opening them and getting them hooked. Dont even worry about numbers because I'm confident you arent even there yet. But soon you'll be.

BTW, how old are you ?

Thanks for the advice Marc, that was really helpful!

_________________
"Style never goes out of fashion"

I'm 19 BTW

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"Style never goes out of fashion"

Hey Marroni. I'm a bit younger than you, and though I haven't started to game strangers, I understand your pain. Sometimes I feel really lonely and insecure, but you know what?

Fuck it.

In an year or two, when you're fucking some blonde bimbo you've only talked about for a couple of hours, or when you've found a girl so great you feel happy just to be alive, you won't even care for the tears you've cried.

In fact, you'll be grateful.

My tip is, just drive/get into a bus to a town/city a bit away from you, so you can fail at will. Open a lot of sets, and after each one of them, just stop and think what you must have done wrong.

I think all great pua's were once hopeless idiots, they've probably cried a lot more than you, they have probably jerked off to terabytes of porn. Hell, Mystery lost his virginity when he was 21, Style was completely clueless to girls, Juggler had only slept with one women at the start of this twenty's.

You're doing fine, you pushed through your confort zone, and I believe you will improve. Just don't take it personally, because any feedback you get from a stranger is feedback on your TECHNIQUE and not on you as a person. They don't know, so don't give those complete strangers the power to fuck you up.

You WILL improve, probably much faster than you believe.
Cheers, dude* And keep up the good work.

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A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

Your main problem must be that you seek for comfort before attraction. You ask names too early. Also, there is some kind of rule that says that you should never tell a girl your name untill she asks you. If she is interested in you, she will ask your name later and you know than that it is an IOI. One of your sets reacted like "Who even knows this guy ?", when you asked their names. Think about it, they don't really know you and you didn't even got them to the point where they want to know you; why on earth would they even be interested in exchanging names with you. You clearly tried to build rapport to early.

I would advise you to not get discouraged. Try to analyze what you did and compare this with the materials on dating. For sure you will figure out all your mistakes.

Dont listen to him

Maybe we're in different settings, Marc. And I should have specified, I live in a small country, and in a small town.

If I charged girls here and burned, I'd have to see them everyday. Now, later I could cope with this, but in the beggining I think it'd really hurt my confidence.

So I'm just saying that if he is not confident yet, he should go a bit far away from where he lives, unless he lives in a big place, of course. That's what mystery did.

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A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

So let me ask you:

1) Are you an interesting person
2) Do you play any sports
3) Have you done any travelling to talk about some interesting stories
4) Do you play any musical instrument


What makes you an interesting person. Why should a hot girl who has 10-15 approaches in a day hang out with you. What have you got to offer.

Think beyond Pick up. Have an interesting lifestyle. Women get attracted to men who have something goin in their lives except for herself. If you put the woman infront of everything else she is bound to leave you because you are no longer a challenge.

PUA is not all about GETTING the girl. Its about maintaining an attractive lifestyle that every girl would like to be a part off.

Change your mentality and stop being a crying wuss !

Dude man, I know exactly how you feel when you face rejection. In fact, many of us do. It simply sucks. But, don't feel bad about it as you gain experience from it. Just treat it like it's a game. It's much more fun that way. That's why it's called gaming, it's supposed to be fun.

Now on your background information. To be perfectly honest, whenever I see people saying how good looking or attractive they are on these forums, I hate it. It just screams insecurity. If you're truly good looking, it's absolutely needless to say you are. If you do say it, chances are, you aren't sure of it. You don't feel attractive; you just say you are which is absolutely bullshit. "A rich man doesn't need to tell people he's rich." - Style

With girls, from just talking to many girls, I've realized that looks matter much less than you would think. They truly are not as superficial as us guys, although there are exceptions. They want someone who's fun, confident, unneedy, and intelligent. If you portray one or better yet, most of these traits you're set.

Sorry, if that was lengthy. It's just that I've really been in your shoes. I thought I was ugly because my friend would constantly call me that out of fun and it made me believe I was ugly. But as time went on, I realized girls found me attractive. But I still had no game, thus no girls.

Anyways back on track, dude, just keep doing what you do. You have a lot of balls doing all these approaches. I'm proud of you man. Just be less insecure and less reliant on looks. You're bound to get better.

- chz

Already? You're still a RAFC Marroni; I'd suggest being friendly, DHVing and such but don't kino escalate or qualify her yet. Practice on strangers before you go after a crush.

yeah, this guys got it right 100%; start slow. And talk to dudes & mixed sets; make your goal to just talk to as many people as possible.
this is just like anything else; sports, music, etc. You have to start with the fundamentals.



& you don't even need a pua wingman. I have friends that are thrill-seekers; love crazy stuff, always looking for a great laugh, a great story, etc.

You NEED friends like these; the ones that grew up on Adam Sandler movies and Jackass.

When I'm out at the beach or the boardwalk with them I have no AA WHATSOEVER. When I approach random shoobie girls they love it; when I get turned down they'll have my back, find it hilarious, pat me on the back and say "you're the man".

If the girls flip out, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" the guys laugh, cheer and yell "Hell yeah [name]!" I try to beat the bitch in a verbal battle but even I don't it's still cool as hell.

I don't even make picking up a hot girl my objective; my thinking is "make the night more interesting for everyone" & "have funny/interesting stories". If I get rejected by 30 girls it's still a great night.

I have two friends that love to start fights with strangers but they can't walk up to strangers like I can to start up interesting conversations. & I don't fear any guys starting shit w/ me when I talk to them or to mixed sets because I got a crew of 5-6 friends nearby.




& the great thing about approaching guys anywhere is that if you're cool enough you'll build your social circle, impress them (ego boost), get invited to parties, etc.

& if there are girls around always approach all the guys first to "warm up" and display social value. When they approach you they'll just think you're an extremely friendly, outgoing person that loves meeting new ppl and talking to them for a minute or two.

How cool is it when you can walk into a store with a girl and you know half the people that work there? And they all think you're cool as hell? Dude, this isn't just as about getting girls; it's about meeting cool friends (guys & girls) that share the same interests and make your life more eventful. & eventually finding a girl that's GF material. down the line, a girl that you'll fall in love & is both wife material, one that you trust to have your children & raise them w/ ya.





And remember; nobody bats a 1000. After about 10 hours of experience you'll hook up with 5% of the girls you want, after 1,000 maybe 20%.


I disagree. If you have confidence issues I'd focus on just approaching strangers and having interesting conversations for a week. [Nevermind Marc, you saw the same thing I did]

Unless of course you already got the type of friends that make you completely fearless.




damn right. & talking to the "to the bar tender, the security guy, the cab driver everyone" etc. is def essential.



Bro, that's awesome. Meeting people at house parties & college parties is a lot easier then meeting complete strangers at clubs.



Damn right; an exciting, cool, eventful etc. lifestyle & constant self-improvement are a MUST. otherwise you're just "a player", not a social artist



idk, he's just letting us know that his looks are not a challenge for him. Looks are ultimately unimportant but in the beginning they can determine the difficulty level for an RAFC to level up to a PUA.
And he's still your friend? I hate "ball-busting"; why should you have to AMOG your friends? I don't mind some ball-busting if I get a low grade, am slackin or somethin and they're telling me that I need to "pick it up" but otherwise it's bullshit.