So heres the deal. Went out with this bird about 6 years ago, ignored her for a good 4 years after that. We started talking again 2 years ago and patched shit up. During the time we broke up, she hit a rebound boy and stuck with him up until 2 days ago. During the time frame we were talking again I would hit on her with some success and one night had her really thinking coming down to my city and screw. Thats all the background you need.

Last night I had asked her to come over, and gave plenty of clues about what was going to go down (at this point I didn't know she broke up with her rebound). So shes trying to pull the whole busy bit and taking forever to get over. Told her to be at my house for 7-8 she agreed so I planned on 9. She got there by nine, and up to that point I had been calling her responses dead on. I had told her that my buddy (we both know) was probably going to stop by for a little since he moved 5 mins from me. Well I'm not one to play games so i made sure I wasn't home when she got there, ran into my buddy and decided fuck might as well get him in and out then onto the mission. Figured it would also make shit less tense to start with and once hes gone, have the stage set for brunt force.

Buddy and I get to my house and shes waiting at my door not "sure" if its my house.. apperntly she parked her car down the street because she couldn't see the clearly marked house numbers.. I figured she got dropped off, thinking sweet, she plans on getting drunk and staying the night.

We all head into my house I grab a beer, buddy grabs some rye, she grabs a hand full of air. Knowing her thats odd enough, so I invite her to her fav. drink vodka, which she finally takes.. At this point I was sensing akwardness towards something. Conversation happens, laughing is happening. Shit picks up and alls well. We try to play poker which she oddly doesn't know, shes a girl who gets drunk far to often and is far to open sort of thing to not know the game.... so we play go fish, i get frustrated, i think i won said fuck this and went to the basement to find the instructions for "kings". I find them and all I hear buddy yellin to me "where is the biggest bed in the house? Get up here". Not worried, if shes shifted to him all's good.

Apperntly she said in a joking tone that she doesn't want to get drunk lets get to it. At this point im still uncertian if they are serious so I tell him and he starts heading there telling her to come seeing if she will come, i was standing behind her but she didn't move. We play it off as a joke the entire time no issues. We continue our fun laughing times and I'm starting to wonder if buddy plans on leaving. Buddy is starting to buzz kill the whole situation with serious talk about shit like his future plans and bad criminal shit.. there I am trying to look natural so doing anything to get him to figure out shut up and talk about fun shit. In the middle of his sob story I blurt out "this fucking asshole ran me over at work last year!" She falls off her chair laughing, gets up and pulls her chair beside me for story time, he tells part of it and can't stop laughing when she finds out he ran me down with a bob cat (he hit the wheel barrow which turned, its arm smacked behind me knees, i go down onto the road, there i am trying to figure out why the view of the sky shifted). She loved the story all good.

For reference she has been getting txts and phone calls through out the night that she stops and answers. which by this point was getting quite annoying and confusing to wether she was trying to get out or if thats just what she does.

Anyways buddy manages again to go off and start a sob story and finally figures my signal to shut the fuck up thats dumb shit to talk about. murders and dead babies arn't funny, bear raping season she finds funny.

During my bear raping season joke she began to really really mirror me, and I don't mean with the subconsciene. I would speak with my hands and then she would do it and laugh.

At this point im getting pissed cause buddy is still around and buddy knows what happens happens but if girl is leaning one way get the fuck out, and he was suppose to be gone a long time ago. She got another call so he went for a smoke and I went to join him, told him hes gotta go and he agrees she wants nothing to do with him this night.

His ride is late coming and I txt her asking her when she has to leave, she says in around an hour and asks if im trying to get rid of her with a smily face. I respond no im trying to get rid of him and she replys with a smiley face.

finally his ride shows 10 mins later and he announces he has to leave, to which she suddently goes she should take off as well.... Now im 100% confused about this girl, until she showed up I was reading her like a book, up to this point in her life I could figure her out before she knew what she was going to do and in the last 2 hours nothing has gone exactly right..

Now im panic mode, how the fuck do I keep her here. I ask her if shes sure, shit like that and basically she has "work" in the morning. tells me she will be off by one. I tell her come by tomorrow I will still be in the city.

She says I probably will and is all happy and shit.


Next day I txt her around 12:40 seeing if shes coming down and to let me know soon cause I might be able to get out of some army excerise and i gotta know in like 20 mins since i have to leave (lied, had no duty that day). she reponds sorry im going to be at work later than i thought, so i tell her 10 mins later to let me know if she can come by later then and i can stick around (which seemed desperate to me so i followed with -->). i wait 10 mins got no message so i tell her i've been ordered into duty and not to bother and that its unlikely i will be in the area for a month (figured this might show her that shes not important). shes alright with that and says "we'll catch up later..."


Thats the gist of it... I know a few of my errors, one major, buddies NEVER visit

And let the bashing begin.

You'd have been doing fine if your buddy was female, but the problem here was that your buddy was A a fella and B an asshole by the sounds of it. Who talks about criminal stuff? He should have gotten the hint a lot sooner, maybe you could have texted him earlier telling him to get lost.

As for being needy, I think you went a little too far on the needy stuff by contacting her the next day. Need to get your time bridging set up better. I have a standard 48 hour time bridge that I try to stick to pretty rigidly. Sometimes I think "Oh this girl is different and the vibe was good enough that I can call the next day" but that always messes things up for me. Don't call within 48 hours of having seen a girl unless she contacts you first.

I will comment on the needy part:

When she said she will be at work later, you shouldn't ask her anymore to come by. You already asked her once, if she was in the mood, she would have responded by: " I have to work a bit longer, I am coming by an hour later".

Instead, you should have said after she let you know she will not make it the first time something like: "OK, we will catch up some other time", then calling her two days later to check things out.

This is what I would have done.

And this buddy of yours...he should have never been there in the first place.

Ya that was one obvious lesson that shouldn't have needed expericiening.

I still debating damage control, that or just move onto a friend of hers and work the jealous angle.

Off topic this link (which im not allowed to post yet)... topic name 24-nonverbal-cues-to-establish-your-dominence, certianly helped me today. I did what I could remember and got a ton of looks from girls (up and down looks and gazing into eyes.. among other men seeming to shy away a bit) while walking to class and had a lady walk up and start talking to me which resulted in a coffee meeting for tomorrow. I wasn't to interested so I didn't bother with a number.

Also I bought a nice titanium ring, nothing flashy but still stylish I think.