I had a blast Friday night guys! Ricky and I joined some guys from MetroDC PUA.
But, please, the next time I pull the fat chick away so one of you can take the hot chick, make it worth my time!
At the beginning of the night, we gathered on the first floor of the Ultra Bar after a failed meeting at FUR. We get inside, and I head to the third floor after getting a Red Bull at the first floor bar. I can't remember who from our group joined me. He had grabbed his beer down stairs, downed it on his way up to the third floor. I finished my Red Bull and left the glass at the bar.
You could tell nerves were overcoming him and the beer was taking care of it. He got a second when we got to the third floor bar.
"We gotta get the other guys up here to show acceptance by other men," he offered. Loud enough that some women may have heard.
"Not at all," I reply. "We DHV each other. Life is good." Just then an HB8 walks by with her friends. The music is strong.
I reach out and take her hand. She is about to dance, but the mother hen gives her the look of, "We gotta keep moving to the back of the room."
And she does. "Oh, man, we won't be able to open anybody until we get the guys up here," he repeated.
"No, just sit back and relax," I say. Then, I lean against the bar, checking the room out. "Give me a High Five!" I said as I raised my hand.
"Huh?" he says like I am speaking Chinese.
"Gimme a High Five!" He responds and we slap hands. I yell like the Cardinals just made a touchdown. It DHVs us by showing we are having a great time, plus gets the attention of other women.
HB8 walks by again. Again, she is leading the hen's group. Again, I grab her hand. She squeezes it in response, letting me know she is not going to let mother hen tell her to leave.
We step away from the bar. The hen group stops for a moment to watch, until mother hen shoos them along. HB8 looks at them walk and I gently let her know I am not letting go. She looks at me and smiles.
I push her out, and in a swing dance move, pull her back, twirl her so she is up against her body, her right arm across her body with my left hand holding it so she is trapped by her own arm. (should I draw stick figures to show how this is done? lol!)
I release her hand and slide my hands down to her hips. She presses her very fine body against me.We grind for several minutes until mother hen comes to get her. WHERE WAS MY WINGMAN!? She leaves with mother.
Just right after, the rest of our group arrives. I was going to take a picture with my camera. Instead, we had a cute girl
take the pic with my phone, since I left my camera at home because FUR has a no camera rule. I figured one of the guys asked her so he could pull her in. My phone sucks at taking pictures.
As the shot was done, she gave me my phone, then she turned to this fat chick. Now, I like a little meat, but this woman had enough meat to feed the world!
I decided, "OK, I will pull the FC aside so whomever opened the cutie girl could take a shot."
I walk over, introduce myself, and say, "Hi, I get lost in your triple chins."
Not really. And, if her attitude might have been more playful, I would have not reported this. But, she must have been Jabba the Hut's twin sister. She had is size, looks, and attitude.
I opened her with a resume' barrage because I was not wanting to get to know her, just to get her away from her friend. It worked. She told me it was her birthday. I gave her a hug and said, "Congratulations!"
I had my back to her friend, and found FC looking periodically to make sure her friend was still there.
She was, talking to a guy. I keep her occupied for five minutes. Two more girls walk up...apparently this group of two was a group of four, two of which were in the bathroom.
I look behind me and guy is still talking to girl so I grab the new two as well. We talk for a while, and wished desperately someone would wing for me because the half-Japanese girl was pretty cute herself. Instead, I am rocking between FC, HJ, and a not as cute shortcut blondie.
HJ and Blondie turn to talk to the girl with the guy. It was at this point I turn to draw them back in and realize that the guy was not part of our group.
I turn to FC and say, "Look, you have five seconds to impress me."
"What?"
"4..."
"Oh, I don't pl..."
"3..."
"I don't try t...
"2..."
"Idon'ttrytoimpresspeople."
"1..."
"I guess..."
"Bye!" I put my hand up to get her to stop as I walk away. I felt a little bad about treating her that way. It is really harsh, but since she was responding to me in a cold manner, and tried to focus on her friend instead of me the whole conversation, I felt justified in being harsh.
I spent the next half hour just relaxing on a couch just to get that experience out of my mind.
CHAT
