I know I make posts like this all the time but this one is rather noteworthy.

Met girl on okcupid. Direct sexual opener, agreed sex is on the table but have to meet at coffee shop first. Prior to meeting ASD kicks in she states that it probably isn't worth meeting for because I'm only around for 1 month. I persist and still get her to meet up. She says the night isn't ending at either of our places. I ignore.

Meet her at the shop an hour later. Casual conversation, heavy thigh kino and she is turned on. Discuss any fetishes we have, have we been tested, etc. Said she's into video games and I said I haven't played in a while and that we should head to her place and play some. This was exactly 15 mins in. She seems hesitant but I say we don't have to have sex, you can even kick me out if you want. I get the address from her and put in my gps. We both drove so I told her I'd be over in 30 mins. She agrees.

Of course, this may have been mistake 1. I had to run back to my place quick and sure enough within 10 mins I get a text that says I can't do this blah blah I just met you. I ignore the texts an show up at her door. She answers and continues to say the same things. I thought I could do the casual sex thing but idk.

Told her I'm not going to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Hands off I promise. She agrees to let me in. I sit on one of the big chairs and she sits on the Ottoman foot rest next to it. Football was on TV and we started chatting about that for 2 mins. and she moves away to the couch distancing herself from me. No video game console in sight. I go and sit next to her and continue talking and so more kino which she is receptive to. She is no longer making eye contact and is turned away and looks seemingly disappointed. Her buying temp is crashing. I turned her towards me and move to kiss her. She says im not having sex with you. I answer, just kiss me. We start making out and I stop it. She says I can't do this. I say yeah you're right. I go right back for the kiss, heavy this time and yank on her hair and she gets extremely turned on and falls back on the couch and I immediately start forcefully rubbing her pussy outside her pants and continue making out. Within 15 seconds I go to move my hand into her pants and she says no stop. I remove my hand and try to go back to just kissing and she removes herself.

Stands up and says I can't do this I'm not comfortable I don't know you blah blah. I don't trust you because you didn't stop when I said so. Leave right now.

Please note:
-She's 30, very sexually experienced and stated that she's usually the dominant one, and she's former military which means she's def. Been around the block.
-Immediately after she removes herself she is on her phone sending texts, presumably to some other option to come over or go meetup with.
-States there is no reason to meet again, and there's no point in her trying to build trust with me at this point because that would be too 'personal' and this is casual and that I should find another girl.

Now you tell me!

After all these LMR and rapey posts I make, this experience just goes to show that if you don't escalate as fast as possible with this, you are fucked, especially when there are endless options for the girl. Seriously, how much more a green light can you get from a girl that is

-verbally dtf
-meets you same day and has you come to her place within 15 mins

I believe at this point, the fact that I didn't go directly to her place after leaving the coffee shop, was error 1, and error 2 was not literally trying to fuck her as fast as possible (instead watching TV and talking football) once we were in her house, more specifically, I did not get my fingers INSIDE her fast enough to get her to submit to her primal desires. The 2 steps forward one step back LMR technique resulted in a massive fail that led to instant backward rationalization and auto rejection from a girl that hadn't had sex in 5 MONTHS, and any words that I exchanged with her at that point trying to build any sort of comfort were met with absolute disdain.

I do not give a shit that I didn't fuck this girl, what I am concerned about is what the hell could've possibly destroyed such open dtf ness into an insurmountable wall of ASD, other than the possibility of another option being introduced on her part in that 30 mins that I waited to go to her place.

Wow yeah there are definitely some things you have to consider with Same Night Lay (SNL) that normally don't apply to typical pickup routines. Now before I get into all that I want to comment on some things you did very well. First and foremost my #1 rule with meeting people online was always to get them from online to in person as fast as possible. The quicker we do this the more likely things go our way so BRAVO hands clapping applause you did that very well.

That being said I've met up for a lot of these types of things. I get a girl online get her comfortable and build some initial rapport. Go sexual as hell and get her in person the same night. I've been on this date what seems like dozens if not a hundred times before so I can feel myself there with you as you describe all this.

One of the absolute biggest things in your control is what I refer to as Logistics. These things frequently pop up and basically "Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" has to be minimized.

Examples of Logistics: Gas in the car, having condoms, have a bounce location picked out, have your house/flat/etc. picked up with the light on so she's not walking into a dark creepy place. Have drinks there, have movies, have a change of clothes in your trunk, keep water in your car, energy bars, jumper cables, breath mints, having spare medication for anything you are taking, whatever. It was to the point that at one time I was keeping spare toothbrushes at my place, tampons, and those sorts of things. My social excuse is that I have sisters and female cousins that would come to visit and they would inevitably forget packing these things so I would keep them at the apartment just in case. Simple enough to explain...

I go pretty far with this but you get my point. There is a lot in your control to kind of prepare a small backpack for that you can take care of. Most of the items up there come from experience of last minute resistance of all kinds and Murphy messing with me hardcore... yes I had to jump a girls car so she could follow me to my place.

Now that being said because of this in the past I would prefer that girls came back to my place because there was more in my control there if it made sense. However, when in doubt pick which one is closer and either follow her or ride with her if possible.
You should like you had some casual conversation but how much time was really spent getting some rapport down versus being sexual. You need somewhat of a balance there. True the point of the meet is sex but you have to get some rapport down. You said it had been only 15 minutes. Some girls don't need long at all and others do. Some you can show up, she looks at you says you're fuckable, and you're off. Others may need a bit more "hand" holding, it is just a personality difference in women.

A HUGE HUGE part for Same Night Lay is comfort. Now I agree you all had talked and were willing to do the horizontal mamba before you met but she still needs some comfort built. It can't all be sexual all the time. This is one of the very few points I agree with Mystery on back in the day. Women have a natural tendency and understandable to know who they are with. They want to know the guy will be around if god forbid things happen and she ends up pregnant. She assumes a lot of risk by doing it, and we won't get into STDs but just for pregnancy reasons you really have to ensure she identifies with you, the kind of guy you are, and those sorts of things. If you don't do a good job of accomplishing this then it falls through.

A guy I used to follow, Captain Jack, used to say that you should build comfort and sexual tension then hang out til the end of the night when sex just happens and that is about the truth. She gets comfortable with you and she feels she can trust you on some levels, and the tension is there. BAM, SEX.

Anyways now that we have that out of the way you are going to have to work on cold reading the type of girl you have. Granted it sounded like you would have the type A personality that is controlling who would basically decide if you are good to go or not and leave from there. BUT I learned you have to make the final determination by her demeanor and body language during the time in front of her. Sounded like it was going well but after that first bit of last minute resistance and you telling her she can kick you out if she wants to you maybe should have hung out a bit longer to get some more rapport.

Again this is all Monday morning quarterback bullshit because in the moment you are doing very well there. Basically you end up with one of a few personalities. 1. She is a controlling driver type A personality she makes decisions quickly. She looks at you and she determines on the spot yes or no. 2. You have somewhere in the middle of this and amiable where she needs a little more comfort and some LMR techniques to just push your way towards the goal line which you've obviously dealt with before. 3. You have the amiable girl who won't make a decision to save her life. This is the kind of woman you ask her where she wants to go to dinner - she makes you pick, hell she may even make you pick her meal. She is so afraid of making the wrong decision she refuses to make one at all. This one takes a bit more work.

Hope it helps for next time.

JSmooth

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

^ yea .. I was just about to post the same thing.

It seems like, as you pressed, she got more and more turned off/distant. I would have probably taken more time.

I seriously don't understand this whole comfort building thing especially in the face of LMR. Every fucking time I try to do this when hit with LMR or even prior to going to mine/hers, I always get friendzoned or 'make him wait' slotted. When you can see the eagerness in her eyes that screams fuck me already, any more beating around the bush is pointless and gives her more time to think, thus destroying advancement opportunites. Talking to her and all that crap is anti seductive, it does not turn her on and make her want to submit. The more I've backed down to respect her wishes and not push for sex gives her the control and makes things difficult.

This is the most rapey sounding sentence I've ever read.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Again women have a natural risk to getting pregnant and having to deal with that. I know you can elicit seduction to the point they want you and their emotions and hormones are going full tilt towards sex. BUT the brain gets in the way of what the body wants at critical times. You have to satisfy the need to feel they won't be abandoned if things happen, that they know you somewhat. Some women submit to these impulses easier than others but by going that route you will keep encountering this kind of resistance making it probably even more frustrating for you when it doesn't happen.

You hit a roadblock and made a post about it. Definition of insanity right... Keep doing the same things over and over expecting different results. If you want to know more about it I would tell you to look at Jon Sinn and Captain Jack. They are older guys but they have the concept of same night lays down to a science. They helped my game, maybe it will help yours.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

↑ That is your answer underlined. Mind games. You were not her 1st choice and may have even been getting revenge on her big bucks boyfriend target, who had no interest in her after banging her. I'm an old man of 50. This has happened to me in one form or another, even AFTER explicitly getting the woman's agreement on the phone that she is coming over for sex and nothing else. Women go to online dating for a variety of reasons as has already been stated in this forum- attention whores, vicariously living a fantasy, cheating on spouse/boyfriend, branch swinging, etc. So, write down this chick's SYMPTOMS for the purpose of DIAGNOSING the problem, because women follow patterns of behavior.

After the 1st time that this happened to me, I now get up and walk away if I am at some other place or open the door for them to leave when it is my place. Do not mess around with Freeze Outs or any LMR techniques. They all need some silent behavior modification informing them that their conduct is immature and they must work to bask in your male coolness. The whole point of these PUA techniques is to deal with women's "rationalization hamster" and other psychoses preventing them from taking responsibility for their sexuality aka being honest about their motivations.

If on the phone, you get anything other than, "I dig you...or I want you," from the woman, you may want to question seriously which is more valuable: going to some lame Starbucks interview with a ding-a-ling vs. reviewing you IRA retirement plan once again (your uncertain future), reading the details of Congress' proposed farm bill (your sophistication), your strategy at work (your path to the future), or calling your family (the people who really care about you).