I hate reading long posts as much as anyone - will sum up best i can.

Meet girl at a bar HB8.5 about a month ago - chat, move venues, number close etc - she is with friend as am i, so no kiss as we both had different places to be. Next day lots of text, ends with her asking if im going out tonight (given it was friday night i had plans) - towards end of the night i meet her, she is out w ton of friends - i hangout put in some time then need to bounce. Actually seemed to really build mystery and interest as she texted asking if she scared me off.

next time we meet solo but both super hungover - long fun date (probably too long - maybe 6 hours) walk her home - here is where i fk up a little. there was no mention of anything so i acted like i was going in with her, she didnt say anything so i could have gone with it, but being super tired and hungover, i was like "i should go" - hind sight not right move, i thought it was the right move. again more text from her that i was welcome to come in, why'd i leave etc.

so problem begins: both travel -work vac etc and 2 weeks go by, think i see her once during week - far from anywhere to close so again nothing.

more travel, another week or more, then we hang again during week, get her to close location but very late, says she has to get home to bed, go for kiss close (didnt like how it set up, could have done better) but i ran outta time (i know not a good excuse) - kiss, but lacked passion - figured she would be more excited.

More time goes by and her text responses become worse - in my head im thinking its gone stale. my inquiries dont get warm responses and she doesnt seem to commit to plans. days of bad responses and seem like unlikely to change the momentum.

PICK UP INSTINCT tells me u fked up. didnt move well from comfort to seduction and she has lost interest. Definitely not enough Kino or sextual frame (fully admit i fked up) - so responses keep coming but cant seem to get a date - shoot a message that we both discussed being no BS type and if she didnt want to see me no hard feelings, had fun while it lasted etc (probably get flamed for that text but to me it seemed appropriate) - big ass response about how she did and its just that we both been traveling and she starts throwing out dates etc.

HERE IS WHERE IT GETS WEIRD - so established that game still on, but text get scattered again, and takes hours to establish where we are going to be (shes w her friends i am with mine) - towards end of night i say i am rolling in her direction where is she?
1030pm her : keep me posted
1055pm me: on my way - where exactly
1120pm me - u went ghost?
1130pm her - soon, so tired but out for a bit
1134pm me - should i go my own way? i am near i think?
1135pm her - where are u now?
1137pm me - i name some bar near where i think she is and i ask again if she is at bar X
1154pm her - no im down the block
1155pm me - what?
1205am me - seriously what is up w u?
1206am her welcome to come here - around the corner from bar X

THIS IS WHERE I THINK SHE IS FKING W ME BC ITS BEEN 2 HRS OF ME WANDERING AROUND - seems like she doesnt want me to join, either with a dude or something. so im seriously ready to delete number

1207am me - whatever dude - you could give me a bar name
1211am me - aight have fun night
1220am her - oh i thought i told you bar Y, going home soon

so i walk in and see her and she is just chilling w a few girl friends - we vibe, unfortunately she has her sister staying at her small apt so just make out and i leave for my party.

fk sorry that was long - my point was that most of the poor game was in my head - yes i didnt play things perfectly but i think if i had just maintained my frame the entire time i would have realized that sometimes its not the worst case scenario - i assumed she was w / banging other dudes and that just not that interested but once i got there i got the exact opposite sense - she even asked me when we were going to see each other again.

The only person fucking with you is you yourself. You actually spent two hours wondering around town hoping she'd text you her location and so you could meet up.

I mean seriously. Dude. You obviously should've went in her apartment the first time around but that's not even remotely the problem. Having no respect for your time is.

You went full scrap dog. Waiting around the dinner table hoping some leftovers fall your way.

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The real problem is that he keeps spending crazy amounts of time out and the only opportunities are at 3 AM(or whatever).
Seriously, if a girl is into you, you can directly invite her to your place. Seriously. Try it. Tell her you have a crazy day tomorrow and have to get to bed early. But you want to hang out. She should come over and you'll get [food she likes] and chill.
I actually have more luck with this invite than I do suggesting we go out and do stuff. Literally the only downside is she's usually not all that made up, which is only a problem if you've got one of those +5 with makeup girls.

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RSDTyler

Cringe

This is exactly how AFC's always cock block themselves..

I would of thought that discovering this community that you would actually apply some of its basic principals of at least not being super chode

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viewtopic.php?f=22&t=175877
Post #5.

I thought it was funny reading your post because I had a night nearly identical to yours awhile back.

I'm not at all going to shame you for behaving like you described, and I don't blame myself for behaving like I did when it happened to me. It's a downward spiral that you have to actively override yourself from going down it because it's so emotionally backed.

I would actually blame PUA for driving this needy behavior. Pick up thrives on outcome dependence and neediness.

I'll digress on that thought before I get flamed.

Anyway, it's exhilarating when you get a new chick in the mix. Sometimes (or quite often), you will find yourself being stuck in that chase mode. You expect it initially to some degree, you are the one approaching them mind you. But for some reason, the chick suddenly says she has all these external obstacles to meeting with you again.

Now, I wish I had listened to the 3 strike rule back then. It is one of the few rules behavioral rules that is non negotiable to me.

If a chick flakes three times to three different requests to meet up, delete her information and move on. No ifs, ands, or buts.

For some guys three strikes is even too generous. Think about it though. Most corporations follow a 3 strike rule for their employees committing some kind of unwanted action. It is a fair due diligence. Once is an honest mistake, twice is an unfortunate fluke but you give them the benefit of the doubt, and thrice is the final signal you need to understand that it is a waste of your time.

Some guys will tell you that it's just texting. If you don't have to physically go out of your way, keep persisting. Do whatever it takes to get the lay. Text cold leads, you never know what might happen. Maybe you will get her to flip if you throw something crazy enough at her.

Fuck those guys. They don't value themselves and they are committing the more egregious crime of trying to persuade you to not value yourself.

Look up Mark Manson's law of Fuck yes or Fuck no. If you don't tell yourself "fuck yes" after being asked if you want to see a chick, then she's not worth it. She's a fuck no then. You maybe "fuck yes" on some girls but they may be so-so on you. Therefore they are a fuck no. Why chase a girl that doesn't want to get to know you more or doesn't care for you if she does know you?

The only way to work against flaking is solid up-front interaction. Everything else is a waste of time and you should relinquish control in favor of valuing your own time and emotions.

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