Hey guys,

Sorry to start 2015 so negatively, but I just would love everyones thoughts and experiences on my situation, I know I'm not the only one this's happened to.

So one of my friends (lets call her mary 20yr), I known her for almost 10 years, but only last year our friendship got stronger. I never really saw her as hot, but she was pretty. She had always had a couple boyfriends and I never really thought about doing anything with her, quiet frankly I was pretty happy to be sitting the friend zone. Come new years eve, we went out with our group of friends and ended splitting up and she started hooking up with me. I know what we were doing was wrong, but we were both drunk and couldn't help it. We ended up going to another one our friends apartments on the night, but I didn't end up closing.

Two days later we all got invited to a party at the apartment, and everyone was talking about what mary and I got up to on New years eve, I felt uncomfortable yet kinda validated that I was getting all these girls (I not only got with mary but her friends as well) I just didn't really read in to anything, my plans were to close her at that party. Now before I get into the fucked up part, I want to explain a bit about my best friend...or the guy I use to call my best friend.

My Best mate of 8 years, (lets call him Jim 20yr), we were close as it gets. I would tell him everything and he'd tell me everything. He is the one who go me to self improvement and pick up. I'v known him since we were kids and I loved him like a brother, but I have mentioned in one of my past posts about how negative he is and how I felt like he was bringing me down at times. He works with mary but he was always shy, her never really said anything to me about her so I didn't really know how he felt about everything. I told him everything that happened at new years and he new what was going on.

So now back to the party, as I mentioned above, Jim is an introverted and shy guy, he's always the quiet one at the party, I'm the life of the party, as narcissistic as it sounds, I'm always the centre of attention where ever I go, guys and girls are always around me listening to my stories. I'm the type of guy my friends look up to and as a brother jim might'v been to me, he was always the younger brother. So we all ended up getting drunk and mary, jim, another of mary's friends (female) and I ended up going into a room and getting super drunk. we were all on top of each other horny as fuck groping, kissing and what not (by the way this was all hetro nothing bi or gay). If things went differently we would ended up having a orgy in that room. So this is when everything turned to shit, jim somehow managed to get mary into the bathroom with him and I had no idea what they were doing. Everyone at the party starts talking and I didn't know what to do. Some guy at the party ended up opening the door and I walked into see what happened and he palmed my chest and pushed me right out. In that moment I just got pissed off, a part of me was pretty fucking jealous that he's in the toilet with girl I wanted to be with and I really didn't think he would've just done that. I ended up smashing the door with my fist and literally breaking the door down. Jim and I ended up arguing but their weren't any fights. I felt really fucking bad for the way I acted but also felt really betrayed by my closest friend. And even after that he and mary go into a room and I don't know what the fuck they were doing but a mutual friend of jim and I's went in opened the door and told him to what he was doing was pretty fucking dog. I didn't really talk to anyone of them for the rest of the night and just left the party in the morning.

So they you go, I felt betrayed by jim but also really conflicted. From being the guy at the party that everyone loved to the guy I don't even know what they thought of anymore, it makes feel pretty bad. But I decided that jim is no longer going to be in my life, I don't want to hang around people like that.

Apologies again for the negative post but I'd love to hear everyones opinions and stories.

Peace

So you got involved in a steamy foursome with her and Jim. If you weren't cool with Jim and Mary making out at the foursome stage, before they went to the toilet, you shouldn't have let it get that far. You almost 'encouraged' it by going along with the foursome situation.

You don't know for a fact that Jim fucked Mary. They could've just been making out. But whether he did or not, she's not your girlfriend, she is not your property. You start off talking about how long you've known Mary and how you're the "centre of attention" in social situations, and you say it like this should somehow mean you've 'earned' the right to be with Mary. This is why you failed with Mary; you have the wrong mindset. Your violent little tantrum has ruined any chance of you hooking up with Mary again.

Stop blaming your buddy. Mary made the choice to go off with Jim. Why aren't you mad at her?

You're right, I was just in the moment and thought it would be fun I guess but wasn't really thinking too much, to be honest I just didn't think she would get with him or he would even go that far.

Yeah thats true, for some reason my ego has just gone nuts, I guess all the validation I been getting from everyone just made me feel like I was entitled to her. However, if it was some other guy, and not jim I don't think I would'v cared as much, hell I don't think I would'v cared at all to be honest. For some reason I just didn't wan't him out all people to get with her, well not before me at least. We're were best friends but I'm very competitive by nature and I always want to win.

I didn't expect to through a tantrum either, must've been the alcohol, and I what I did was wrong, but I'm not as mad at mary because I don't care enough about her to be that mad, she has a boyfriend, I was never planing on dating her. Jim on the other hand knew I was working mary so thats why I am mad at him.

lol its funny i was reading a post earlier and i got shot down for saying dont tell your mate that your going to date a girl he wanted on the night but you ended up kiss closing etc.

This is now the opposite and its coming out dont blame your mate. FUCK HIM hes a dick best mates dont steal girls fact. he palmed your chest because he was guilty !!! thats not a friend ! fuck that shit dude. blame mary also.

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You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

Dude, you were only "working her" in order to get in her pants. You had no interest in actually dating this girl. And you were actually in a room with another girl wen he went for Mary. I see nothing wrong here. If you wouldn't have been such a drunk you could have let them have their fun, you have your fun, and then afterwards still get to bang mary. If you want to live the life of many sexual partners you have to not be offended every time other people hook up.

+1^Agreed.

To the OP, why didn't you fuck the other girl?

Firstly she's not my girl friend so I'm not going to let this one thing fuck my friendship with jim, we had a talk and I told him if I actually had feelings for a chick I wouldn't want him hitting on her and same deal for him. I'm not going to get with a chick he has feelings for. I think my ego just couldn't take it, like I always saw him as a younger brother, and just didn't want him to fuck her first, that's pretty much it. And the other chick was cute, but I wasn't really that keen on her, well not before I fuck mary. Ideally it would've been I fuck mary and jim with the other chick and then we switch, but hey shit happens I guess. It still kinda makes me sick thinking about it for some reason, oh well.

Anyways thanks for the input! It help'd a lot! I really appreciate it! and I guess I need get over the jealousy if I want to have multiple partners!

Peace

I actually want to add to my last comment, I was just reading some stuff and something came to my head, that was I liked mary like I would like a sister, I'v known her for ages and I never tried tuning her or trying to fuck her, only after she hooked up with me on NYE. I couldn't even eye fuck her that night (not to say that I didn't enjoy messing around with her), some parts just felt gross to me (like the emotional aspect of it), like picture eye fucking your sister and talking dirty to her, thats fucked, you just can't bring your self to do it! I think that also had a big part to play in why I got pissed off. It probably sounds weird to you guys but yeah. I feel kinda conflicted at the moment. A part of me wants to bang her now but can't go though with the whole eye fucking and flirting thing. I guess it felt like my best friend fucking my sister.