So I talked this girl up like a champ on POF. I was funny, time and again, and I also said some things that she said were so sweet, that I "made her day" (she said that a couple days ago.) Today we went out. My thoughts to myself were: "I'm just glad to be going out on my first date in 2 years. If nothing happens beyond the date, I'm okay with that."

We met at a coffee place. I have no car so I waited 20 minutes for her to arrive. It was crazy busy. I wasn't sure what I should do, whether to grab and hold a table, or to wait for her outside. I wanted to hug her when she arrived so I waited outside. So after the hug and hello we came in and there are no damn seats. But we proceed to order and she manages to grab a seat from some people who are leaving.

Was waiting outside a good idea?

So we sit down and we start talking. Back and forth about various topics, all over the place. She told me prior to the date that she was going to drink lots of coffee at the date. As well, when we first sat down we joked about how long we were going to stay there, so I figured we'd be there for hours. But she didn't want any more coffee when she was nearly finished the first one.

Why didn't she want more coffee? Was she hoping I'd try to take things to a higher level?

After awhile I started getting hungry so I had a bite to eat (I paid for both coffees, she wasn't hungry.) Then as I'm talking with her, after I was done eating, my brain just starts zoning out. She's literally talking to me and I'm not processing a damn word that she's saying. I felt bad because I don't just want to pretend I'm listening when I know I'm not. So I told her: "My brain is just zoning out. Give me a couple seconds. Then I'm just kind of looking around the cafe for a few seconds like a zombie, then we start talking a little and then I'm like: "Let's go outside and get some fresh air." Well, I really would have enjoyed going for a walk with her, but it just happened to be snowing very wet snow today, so we couldn't go walking without getting soaked. She wasn't dressed for it either.

We stood outside for a few minutes while she had a smoke. My brain was still blah. Then she's like: "I should get going." I apologized to her for my brain going to mush, gave her a hug and sent her on her way.

Good Points:

-My condoms don't expire until 2016, so I still have a chance to use them, LoL.
-I hugged her twice, held her hands and told her that I thought she was pretty. She replied by saying: "You're not bad yourself."
-I felt confident. I wasn't nervous or shy.
-On the way home I approached a woman on the bus. It didn't go well, but that's the first time I have approached a woman in person, in years, so I'm quite proud of myself for trying. I also realize that although she didn't respond positively, and people around me undoubtedly noticed my fail, it didn't scar me.

Areas To Improve:

-I am disappointed that the night didn't end with us getting intimate. The bottom line though is that it didn't happen because I didn't try to make it happen. I didn't have a game plan. It's good that I could hang out spontaneously without rehearsing everything beforehand, but I realize that I do need to set goals for next time. She was very pretty, so I lost out big time. It's my job to steer the interaction in that direction and I didn't do it, and she may be just as disappointed as I am.
-I wasn't as "cool" and "in control" in person as I am online. I wasn't as funny, either. I'm sure this will come with practice.
-I need to be better rested next time. Either that or maybe my brain just can't handle talking for 1.5 hours straight. In that case, I need to know just how long I can stand to talk before I need to take action to move things forward.
-Again, I just wasn't in charge of the interactions once we met up in person. We were on an equal level. Chatting on POF gave me the opportunity to be selective on what information I shared and to control the flow. In person, I just wasn't man enough.
-I also was applying expressions to my face on purpose at times, to show that I understood or that I'm following along. Maybe I didn't feel something was as funny as she did, but I pretend to laugh despite. This, I think, is probably a huge problem. I need to be 100% real.

It seems that you have a few misconseptions about what you need to do to F-close a girl. You don't need to be funny, you don't need to have a "game plan" (although you may want to have logistics worked out), and unless you're me, don't worry, you'll probably use your condoms before 2016!

Anyway, basic things, if you're brain stops functioning (and I honestly don't know how it would) you could have played that off as you losing interest to get her to chase you. AFC's have this misconseption that they need to impress the girl. In reality, you want to get it so that the girl is trying to impress you. If she says something that isn't funny, don't laugh. If she says something you're not interested in, then don't pay attention. These things build attraction.

Also, hugging her twice is not a good thing, and telling her that she is pretty is even worse. Never tell a girl that she is pretty. Never. It lowers your status. On the first date, even if it isn't there, always go for the k-close. Also, kino lightly throughout the date.

One of the things that is a pro is that you already seem to be good at text game which will help you on POF, Tinder, and texting. I can't text for shit.

Anyway, good luck! Start a Journal and record all of your field reports there. Open sets wherever you are. The mall, the coffee store, ect. Daygame is a beautiful thing!

_________________
Previously Rugby7

My PUA Journey (2014): http://bit.ly/1yYjtSV
MY PUA Journey (2015): the-342-journal-vol-2-rugby7-vt187356.html
My Workout (Read this): http://bit.ly/1zIQncY

Record: 131
Record: 124

Thanks kindly for taking the time to both read, and respond! LoL, I think you know more than me, so you'll get your condoms used up before long.

Okay, I will note that I don't need to be funny.
My brain went to mush, just like it did while I was writing an exam recently. It's kind of like when you've been staring at the TV screen for 10+ hours straight playing video games. I was sitting at a strange angle all night to keep eye contact, since I couldn't sit across from her.

Okay, so I totally didn't deal with this the right way. I didn't show any disinterest at any time and I should have played that better. I guess it's normal for a guy to lose interest in yapping after awhile. I need to be sincerely interested and sincerely disinterested. I was totally in it to impress her and I'm quite sure I didn't.
Okay, I thought I did good there and I totally didn't. I'll do some research on Kino. I have heard that mentioned before but haven't researched it yet. Hugging twice is bad, okay, thanks.
Thanks for the kind words. Good luck to you improving in this area. Maybe I just had some beginners luck, who knows.
So what do I do with this girl now? She gave me her phone # and our conversation is still alive on POF. Is it too late to fix? Should I bother trying?

Let me adress a few of you're questions:

1. About the whole funny thing, it helps. Most guys are funny naturally. If you aren't funny, you're probably interesting or something else. Play the cards you have!

2. Yep, Never had this experience... lol. Did you just run out of material? This happens to a lot of people who use canned methods. I'll ask you about your game twoards the end of this post.

3. Kino: Yes, hugging bad. Girls almost always hug. How do you go for the K-close on the first date? Be touchy and Flirty! That way when you kiss her it won't be a giant suprise. Always go for the K-close. If you don't get the K-close on the first date you won't even get laid on the 3rd date stereotype. You'll get a second date and nothing ever again.

4. Tinder and POF. I don't use them, you should.

5. Your final concern, what should you do?

If she contacts you by all means respond, but she's nothing special. You're too likely to end up getting F-zoned at this point. If you contact her she'll probably be flaky

Okay, now for a few questions:

1. What method do you follow? Yes they work. If you have AA I recommend Mystery. If you don't just get right into natural game (I personally follow RSD).

2. Not a question. Daygame.

3. Going back to 2, do you Daygame? Do you Nightgame?

4. Dates are nothing special. Do not even bother dating. Just invite the girl over to your place for some silly excuse and Kino then close.

I'm gonna end on this note. You said this was your first date in 2 years. Don't act like each date will be your last. It will help you with confidence. Don't try to impress the girl (I can tell you that it WILL fail). DO NOT QUALIFY YOURSELF! Finally, you took my advice and adressed all parts of it. You will learn fast! You're the kind of guy who people will want to help. Take in all of the members advice into account. Also, read my common newbie mistakes post. It will help you.

Happy Hunting!

_________________
Previously Rugby7

My PUA Journey (2014): http://bit.ly/1yYjtSV
MY PUA Journey (2015): the-342-journal-vol-2-rugby7-vt187356.html
My Workout (Read this): http://bit.ly/1zIQncY

Record: 131
Record: 124

Lol, your main problem here was sitting in a coffee house for a total length of time. She didnt want another coffee propose a bar- game of pool etc as you walk to the bar flirt with her, tease her, tell her she smells nice.

I should also point out i'm naturally funny with girls and so are some of my mates and girls eat it up being funny is a big help also it boosts confidence.

POF, TINDER all of those are fine to use dude the world is advancing so dont be scared to keep using them i do and i can lay 4-6 girls a week off of them.

Also dont fall into the canned material - yes canned openers are ok etc. but dont rely on them. Have an idea of what to talk about when you go out, family, work, hobbies, what she did at the weekend, etc etc fluff chat but learn to expand on her answers. So if she says awww i have a brother and a sister... you reply awww sweet what age are they ? are you the oldest? FLUFF chat is fine. BUT YOU HAVE TO ESCALATE AND SHOW YOUR INTEREST VIA KINO or get into a sexual topic or use sexual inuendos. A good one i use sometimes is 'hold on you have something in your hair' stop hr and mess her hair a little and go its away now.

you'll get better dude congrats on the date though !

_________________
You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.