Evening,

I've been pondering some recent meet-ups from dating apps (OKCupid / Tinder) and invite your comments - tell me where I'm going wrong, where to sharpen up!

Background:
- Just left a 3 year relationship
- Used to be active in pick-up
- Interested in getting a new girlfriend, more interested in sleeping with hot girls!
- Reasonable looking, in good shape but my major points are intelligence, confidence, rapport (modesty too but I'm trying to build a picture so don't think too bad of me!) but feeling a bit out-of-practice in seducing

Apps:
- I've been using OKCupid and Tinder
- Never convinced I'm putting the best photo on as the main one but still getting matches
- OKCupid seems like a deeper rapport app where girls are more interested in a relationship
- Tinder - way hotter girls, tonnes of them, probably lower hit rate though...

The Weekend:
- Saturday - OKC meet-up
- Sunday - Tinder meet-up
- OKC - the girl was not that good looking, maybe a 5, but was available at a good time and... seemed like a bit of sweetheart, to be fair! (Should I feel guilty? Ha!). I felt I needed the practice. Good rapport, no awkward moments, good connection. But... no sexual chemistry. Hard to see how to progress. She seemed a (chatty) introvert and a tad reserved so it was probably an up-hill battle. Kino difficult as she seemed to automatically (and almost deferentially) keep a polite distance.
- Tinder - hotter girl, not fantastic but adventurous and sporty. 7, so not great but it's early days. Again, comfortable, good rapport. This time more energy as she was more extroverted and I was more aware of my weakness. Physical distance was closer, easy to kino comfortably (but not reciprocated). This one involved alcohol too which I thought might help! All the same, as much as we got on, I just saw no opportunity to push seduction and sexuality.

Things on my mind:
- If girls very quickly feel comfortable, happy, chatty, etc. how do you push it on into flirting if its not happening naturally?
- Were they too comfortable? Should I be doing that old breaking rapport thing? Am I making them so at ease that they assume we're at the same status rather than making them chase me?
- As opposed to meeting at a bar (for example) do online-to-date scenarios lack the connection and intimacy? Should I be going in with a different mindset or maybe framing the date differently (i.e. we're not just meeting up, you're about to find out if we're destined to have sex or not, etc.)?
- Is DHV really that important? Is it too unnatural?
- Rapport, confidence, general calibration all seemed solid but it's pushing it to the next level that seems to allude me!

Appreciate your thoughts. A lot there but it's my first time back in the game.

Flirting always happens naturally, always. Whether or not it starts deliberately may be up to you but don't try to force it. You mentioned that your dates were a "5" and a "7" so maybe you just weren't that attracted to them. I've found that it's better to go after girls you really desire than trying to "practice" on girls and feign interest. Breaking rapport? Yes, it works. Make sure to play it off as teasing so you don't come off like an asshole. By the way, you and her are both human; therefore, you are both of equal status. That takes care of that.

Value is extremely important. You're right that it can come off as unnatural, too cocky, or insecure if you seem like you're trying to show off. Many guys can passively demonstrate value and don't need much in the way of DHV stories or routines to do the job - and if they do do those things, it comes off as needy or insecure. Passive displays of value include your fitness, grooming, and the way you carry yourself. There are also, surely, elements of value in your everyday conversation about yourself. That said, if you read from her that you need more, it's nice to have a story in your back pocket.

_________________
Live Your Truth.

Cheers, Royalty.

Yeh, its been running through my head a bit about how hot they were. I'm more of a believer in being natural and if I'm only mildly attracted to them then it's no great surprise that I'm struggling. Your own sexuality should come through passively (at least); mine wasn't.

I also thought a bit about the framing. (I felt that from the beginning we'd agreed to meet up but... for what? Kind of directionless). Today I bought Jon Sinn's ebook for a small fee, read a few pages, tweaked my approach and... BOOM! These girls have a completely different mindset now, dirty little minxes!

There's one who's begging me to come over, I can't so said no, now she's angry that I haven't called her for phone sex. Other girls I've got off the Apps and onto text messages previously have all turned up the heat too.

All it took was a bit of, like you say, playful teasing / flirting. Insinuating that they've got a dirty mind, calling them a naughty girl or suggesting that they have a split personality (good/bad), etc. to liven things up....

This coming weekends' dates are going to be DIFFERENT!! (P.S. I might need to invest in more condoms!)