I went out sarging for the first time last night. I only approached three sets and I was pretty upset about it. I have crippling approach anxiety and although my approaches went okay, it took a lot of time to muster up the balls to approach. In between approaches I just chatted with my buddy who came with me.

Can anyone tell me how long it will take for this to go away, if at all? Does it go away on its own with more in-field experience or do I have to make a conscious effort that doesn't involve field work?

I would appreciate anything anyone can tell me about this. Thanks.

Here are mantras and ways to relax when you are approaching. These are my 4 Mantras I keep in mind and repeat to my self when I am clubbing.

1) There is no win there is no loss.
- Understand that most girls have the power to take a guy home when they go out. If they are able to take a guy home whenever they wish then mine as well for them to have fun first and then go home with a guy at the end.
* Therefore, between the beginning of the night (10:30pm in most places) to near closing time (1:30am) ... the girls are there to have fun.
- No matter how good your game is the girl will not go home with you at the beginning of the night. Girls will still want to party, dance, drink, mingle with other guys to get their sexual state up and then they go home when the club/bar/venue closes.
* Between 10:30pm to 1:30am the girls will not go home with anyone and will focus on having fun.
- Since they will not go home with you between that time frame ... switch your focus to impressing girls to impressing your self. Focus on your self instead of the girl. Relieve your self of impressing the girls and impress yourself.
* A fun game you can play is called Sacrificing the Lamb. Approach a set even though you are not ready. Whether she likes you or she runs away ... as long you sacrifice the lamb to be offered to the pick up gods to grant you a good night ^_^.

2) The more I do the less the environment will do to me.
- Minimize time in between sets. Once you eject from a set open immediately to another set.
- Don't go back to your group after a set. Keep approaching! Most guys would approach and stay in set 2 minutes ... then they would take a 20 minute break. Doing nothing will add to your anxiety :p. But, by doing and approaching will give you more proofs that nothing bad will happen relieving you from insecurities.
- Motion creates emotion, after each sets clap your hands, dance, talk to your self(repeat the 4 mantras explained here), high five people, approach again ...
- The more breaks you take the more you'll get in your head.
- Approach everything ... fat girls, ugly girls, mix sets, hot girls ... every thing. Don't be picky. Everything is an opportunity to sharpen the blade. I approach at least a minimum of 10 girls a night. Ugly, old, hot, pretty girls ... I practice my skill on all girls. Skills are like muscles ... the more you repeat the more it will get stronger.
- Question for you ... will your skill improve faster by approaching 3 or 20 girls?

3) What's the right thing to do?
- Even though you are scared to approach ... approach anyways.
- Have an ideal image of what type of guy you want to be. Then ask yourself what decisions will bring me closer to that ideal person I want to be. Also, ask your self by deciding not to do anything ... will that stray me away from the ideal person I want to be?

4) How can I make my self laugh?
- Remember between 10:30pm to 1:30am the girls will not be going home with you. Therefore, focus on yourself and find ways to keep your self having fun.
- Ruin your self image, be silly, don't be like James Bond ... instead be like Austin Powers.
- If everything is a rejection ... then approach to get rejected in a FUN AND CREATIVE WAY. Use openers like "Banana, banana, banana ... Hi my name is [insert name]."
- If things go awkward ... ask yourself, "How can I make this even more awkward?"
- You see even though you get rejected ... at least you got a laugh out of it. Instead of being butt hurt of being rejected ... find something funny you did in the interaction. That way when you approach the next set, you will have positive good feelings that girls can sense from you. Instead of approaching being butt hurt from your previous sets.
- Approaching focusing on how you can make your self laugh = Upward spiral of positive emotions .... Approaching focusing on rejection = Butt hurt feelings that will bring butt hurt vibe to your next set ... negative downward spiral in how you feel.
* Did you know nervousness and excitement are the same feeling? The difference is how you perceive it. Either approaching girls can feel like walking down death row ... or approaching girls is that thrill you feel when you are about to go down a roller coaster ride.
- Approach anxiety will never go away ^_^.

Hahahaha ... I know a lot of information ... but slowly chip away with these mind sets. Remember repetition is the only way to cultivate these habits and mind sets.

Sincerely,

Donston

Hey Donston, that's some really good advice. I really appreciate the help. Also, how many nights a week would you recommend i go sarging? how often do you go out?

Donston, really nice reply there. The "if you think you will get rejected-go in to get rejected in style"-mentality made my night. Will start using that right away. Thanks man

- I go out 3 nights a week. But, you can practice game as much as you want. You can even go out for like 20 minutes and practice approaching. It's up to you if you think game is important to you ... If so, then put as much hours into it ...
- I am currently gaming for 7 days straight now and my game is sky rocketing. It is a super epic adventurous week O_O!

Have fun ^_^,

Donston