Tweeby's Journal



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tweeby
 Post subject: Tweeby's Journal
PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:31 pm 
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Location: Citalia Italy
OK... I'm kinda at my lowest ebb right now, but looking forward to the future because it is a blank canvas.

I initially wanted to start this because I was tired of being one of those AFC's who scream at the top of their lungs, 'Why isn't this working for me? Why is she always friend-zoning me, it's NOT fair...it's NOT fair. Am I cursed?'

Last two years was hard... I'm going to be brutally honest. My past is like a joke. I'm 27, never had a girlfriend, lost my V-Card to a hooker (which I'm not proud of). I've had several dates, all of which landed me in the friend-zone.

I had to quit my job last year... So I'm unemployed now.

Now is the time I want to change this.

Here are my Dreams
-I want to be completely independent.
-At the moment I live at home, I want to be self sufficient. No help whatsoever from my parents.
-I am insured on my parents car, yet I still don't know how to drive to a different city. I am too chicken shit to learn.
-I want to do game every other day.
-I want to eliminate my Approach Anxiety forever.
-I want to get a great paying job.
-I want to do volunteer work whilst in the process to keep me busy.
-I want to learn another language well.
-I want to travel the world.
-I want to stop smoking forever.
-I want to be to procure a great girlfriend, someone who I don't get needy with and I can protect and love.
-I want to get to 9 stone, and I want a great gym body by the end of this year.
-I have terrible OCD's where I fixate about the past, I want to be able to mediate properly.
-I want to have great game, physical face-face game.
-I want to stop 'Gaming girls' behind the safety of my computer screen or a text message.
-I am seeing a therapist to discuss my issues.
-I have a bad internet addiction, I masturbate too much my goal is to get it down to three/two times a week.
-Primary, focus is getting a job... Without money, I have nothing to work with.

The following is going to be my process into achieving these things. I intend to read AFC Daniel's Journal and some of what Kasabi has written before continuing.

If I set myself a goal, I WILL absolutely achieve it, even if I feel like shit.

Here we go.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642


Last edited by tweeby on Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Sharplin
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:55 am 
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Starting a journal was probably the best game decision I've ever made.

I'm with ya the whole way. Good idea taking Kasabi's advice and making a list of your dreams. Now you have something tangible to work with, something you can measure.

Update this as much as you can. Whenever you feel something significant happened, or something worth mentioning. It's more for yourself than for us to give you advice. When you're writing you'll notice things you could have said or done differently, you'll end up fixing most of your own mistakes.

See you in future posts.

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tweeby
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:08 pm 
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^^Thanks.

All right I've been going into town and opening every other day. I'm trying to de-sensitize myself to "The Approach," as I realise my heart beats sooo fast when opening strangers, especially girls that are my target audience.

Objectives
Destroy my AA. At the moment just trying to work on a good,confident body language, open and eject. Quantity being key here. 10 sets.

Even though I quit smoking, I was wondering how easy it is to just get a smoke of random strangers. Easier then I thought... Got two with the aim being to approach ten sets.

Common excuses
Sorry... this is my last one.

Lessons
Begging, and saying 'excuse me' in a sad way doesn't work. Have a confident body language, speaking up and just asking for a smoke without a reason seems to work best.

Improvements
-To open bigger sets asking for a smoke...

-If they say this is their last smoke (most common excuse), I was thinking what would be funny would be to have a piece of paper in my pocket with the words, 'Sorry this is my last one... Bet you didn't know I'm psychic and you're smiling too?'

Would be a funny routine to introduce - although maybe a bit creepy. Wouldn't work on GUYS though LMAO.

----------
I have a life time uni card. Wanted to go tonight by myself, but chickened out... Made some excuse like it was raining... I'm a wuss. Will go gym tomorrow.

Continue, with my goal to work out three times a week and get to my ideal weight.

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642
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tweeby
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:51 pm 
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Location: Citalia Italy
12th February

Today is supposed to be my rest day... The day where I don't do any pick-up or gaming. Maybe I'm using this as an excuse not to talk to anyone.

Today I decide to go to the gym. I look good, I'm getting into shape and have that brooding chiseled look about me now, I don't know maybe I'm just narcissistic lmao.

I'm really good at the speed ball. I seem to get a large audience. This girl who is really cute stands next to me. She's watching her little brother get dressed after his kick-boxing session, but maybe she's standing there checking me out.

Then I go into GOD mode. I pull get my woolen hat out my back and cover my eyes and do the floor to ceiling for about five minutes blind-folded. When I finish lots of people are grinning. Not sure if it is in amazement or if they think I'm crazy. Probably a bit of both. I don't care it gives me a boost as if I'm crazy good. As long as not chicks are watching it's OK.

Go into town after walk into a shoe shop. This cute assistant, my perfect 10, opens me, smiles and asks if I need help. Damn she's so hot. I just freeze. Today is my rest day, I fire back a one word answer. I can tell she likes me.

I need to have come-backs even when I'm on my rest days. Opportunities like that are too good to miss. Then I go to KFC cos there is this chick I've been stalking for months who works there that I like. I reckon I've probably blown it because I've asked other staff members about her. I guess it must have got back to her.

I have my card with my contact details out anyway in case I get served by her.
The idea is to do bit of small talk then give her my card. I don't think this is going to work, but it's my idea of closure at least. I don't get served by her.

I feel a bit shit, but I reckon I look good.

On non-pick-up days I still need to have my replies/openers ready in the pipe line. This is what champions do. Will go for a motorbike ride to a park I love to visit.

It's sooo beautiful and scenic and helps me clear my mind. Then I will come back here and write down the replies I should have done to all those girls who potentially opened me today.

Feeling a bit sad, because it's Valentine's weekend. My sister is younger than me and is off with her bf. Facebook, just depresses me because everyone seems to be hooking up...

Chin up... This is just the beginning. I've a lot planned this year.

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642
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Kupid
 Post subject: Re: Tweeby's Journal
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 3:21 pm 
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Quote:
OK... I'm kinda at my lowest ebb right now, but looking forward to the future because it is a blank canvas.

I initially wanted to start this because I was tired of being one of those AFC's who scream at the top of their lungs, 'Why isn't this working for me? Why is she always friend-zoning me, it's NOT fair...it's NOT fair. Am I cursed?'

Last two years was hard... I'm going to be brutally honest. My past is like a joke. I'm 27, never had a girlfriend, lost my V-Card to a hooker (which I'm not proud of). I've had several dates, all of which landed me in the friend-zone. My wing-man who I trusted and looked up to, turns out to be a closet homosexual. This has created a seriously FUCKED up situation with our current group of friends, where they think I'm in denial too because I've never had a GF. :roll:

I had to quit my job last year... So I'm unemployed now.

Now is the time I want to change this.

Here are my Dreams
-I want to be completely independent.
-At the moment I live at home, I want to be self sufficient. No help whatsoever from my parents.
-I am insured on my parents car, yet I still don't know how to drive to a different city. I am too chicken shit to learn.
-I want to do game every other day.
-I want to eliminate my Approach Anxiety forever.
-I want to get a great paying job.
-I want to do volunteer work whilst in the process to keep me busy.
-I want to learn another language well.
-I want to travel the world.
-I want to stop smoking forever.
-I want to be to procure a great girlfriend, someone who I don't get needy with and I can protect and love.
-I want to get to 9 stone, I'm only 5'4 and I want a great gym body by the end of this year.
-I have terrible OCD's where I fixate about the past, I want to be able to mediate properly.
-I want to have great game, physical face-face game.
-I want to stop 'Gaming girls' behind the safety of my computer screen or a text message.
-I am seeing a therapist to discuss my issues.
-I have a bad internet addiction, I masturbate too much my goal is to get it down to three/two times a week.
-Primary, focus is getting a job... Without money, I have nothing to work with.

The following is going to be my process into achieving these things. I intend to read AFC Daniel's Journal and some of what Kasabi has written before continuing.

If I set myself a goal, I WILL absolutely achieve it, even if I feel like shit.

Here we go.
It's a lot of work, but if you are persistant you can achieve anything, I learned that, when my school mates said to me (before I went to University) ''You won't be able to do it, it's gonna be too hard for you''
But I was persistant I did it and it worked beautifully (grades are 10 [A on US educational system]) and that is the same persistance, that I have with game, I might don't do anything the same moment, but I'm persistant and eventually I do it.
So it works just remember work hard, be persistant and you'll win :D
Good luck GO GET EM

:wink:

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tweeby
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:40 pm 
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15 February

Decided to go out and approach ten sets to ask for a smoke. Again just working on my AA and body language. It was raining today and I didn't feel good.

I only approached two sets. First old woman just blanked me. The second girl had ear phones in and probably didn't hear me.

Anyway that was enough for me to stop... Today I felt disheartened, for some reason. Not great...

Everyday, I tell myself to wake up and try to catch that girl at the bus-stop. Never do...I keep prolonging it and it's FUCKING bullshit. Will wake up tomorrow at all costs.

Improvements
Dress the fuck up and start doing this...
So far I've done this dressed as a tramp. So I probably come across as being one.
I need to stop masturbating. My drive is low.
Maybe I should make a comment about the weather. And open. Try and use situational openers more. Speak up. Speak up!

Well going out for a drink in a student type pub today.

Need five openers
Hey what uni do you guys go?
Where's good to go tonight?
What's the score? (watching football)
Woah it's taking ages to get served...
Is it always this crazy in here...

^^OK they suck, but I'll try them out.

Need to ring lead on job with private tuition. Speak confidently and prepare some questions the guy might have. Then fix up the advert and put in the shop...

_____________
Shop assistant reply I thought of: Yeah hey what do you think of these trainers? They're pretty cool aren't they. Hey you got a nice smile (deadpan)... So I know this is a bit random but can I have your number... I was thinking maybe we could go grab a cup of coffee? [Deadpan]

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642
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tweeby
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 9:28 am 
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Location: Citalia Italy
17 February
Rang up about possible job lead (private tutoring.) Unlucky, because the lady had already got a tutor. Couldn't have done anything about this...

Just venting... Checked FB and realised the girl I wanted to bump into at the gym received a big bouquet of flowers from someone.

Clearly, that guy made moves before I had a chance to.

Lesson -> Waiting too long -> you miss chances.

Not too bothered, because she is ten years younger. (17)

Also woke up early today to catch a girl at a bus I want to close. I had the perfect chance to speak to her. I was looking good, and was walking off just as she was.

Why didn't I speak with her... Fuck fuck fuck sooo pissed off.

I even had an opener... "Hey, I know this is a bit random but I swear you look really familiar... Hmmm...didn't I speak to you in chili white one day." (A club I saw her in).

I walked around in town and did my regular, "Do you have a spare cigarette" opener to try and kill my AA and frustration.

Improvements
It's early in the morning but, I need to get into state... Open anyone who is at the busstop...Do a couple of push-ups to hike up my testosterone. Try to make EC as I walk down the stairs and then just fucking do it. No excuses. The three second rule has been completely shattered but I believe I can do this. I need to do this to get closure.

Goals for today
Finish my C.V and get it checked in town. Open 10 sets again, but dress to impress. Go gym, then go supermarket and get provisions for me. Think of three openers for the supermarket.

-I shouldn't get so frustrated, it's just that all the girls I kinda know seem happy. They're getting red roses from guys or in a relationship and it just compounds my misery...like I missed that chance and it could have been me.

-Need to realize I just wasn't in a great state at that time and my game sucked.
-Need to realize I am doing the things now to change this... Keeping with the plan is where winners succeed.

[/u]

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tweeby
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:11 pm 
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17 February continued

I'm trying to understand why my fucking heart beats sooo rapidly even when I'm on the Bus and I'm about to approach HER...

It's not a great state to be in. In fact, I'm so nervous and scared nothing, is helping me. Pumping myself up doesn't work... Trying to ignore everything until I go downstairs doesn't work. Shit nothing works...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-v2cHfHERU

I came upon this Ross Jefferies video. How to use NLP to reframe your fear.

Guys have a look it is interesting... I still think systematic desensitisation is the way to go as well but NLP looks cool.

Whilst getting provisions in the grocery store my attempted openers
1. Excuse me where are the crisps.
2. Excuse me where is the chicken.
3. [Situational opener: A woman was guiding a customer to an item in the store but she couldn't find it.] I said,'With a store this big it's impossible to find one single item isn't it? But you're expected to know because you work here. Silly isn't it.'
I then walked by and smiled.

Improvements
Spoke to older members of staff. No cute looking girls my target age. Look for these. What could I have done to continue the conversation.

How could I approach customers?

Will attempt to answer these questions later. Meanwhile, got my advert sorted now getting ready to hit the gym for 6.00pm.


_____________
How do I cut down masturbating to three times a week?
Still doing it twice maybe three times a day. This is abnormal!!
OK... After I do my approach every other day I will reward myself at the end of the week.
I have successfully quit smoking and drinking so this is my next step.

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642
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AFC Daniel
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:15 pm 
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Hey Tweeby. Glad to see you started a journal :)

I'm seeing a lot of similarities so I thought I could share my small experience with you.

You remind me of myself when I started all that. You're pissed off when you miss an opportunity, you're frustrated about yourself when you're not able to open... I realized that kind of thoughts were not a good thing for me... so I tried to get rid of them. Here the answer for me has been meditation. The goal is to become able to spot and then stop this kind of thinking, because it's getting us nowhere. This means also not thinking about the past and not projecting yourself too much since it prevents you to open. I still have some work to do about it, I'm too much in my mind too. But we both know that's a problem.

I also learned that AA can't be killed. Yet, I don't call that AA but Approach Excitement (post from Rye Lee approach-anticipation-excitement-vt35880.html). It might seem stupid... but guess what, when I'm about to open and I feel this little feeling, I tell myself "I'm having approach excitement" and I go for it... because I know that it feels really good to give in. Because when you have the Approach Excitement vision, it's not about overcoming something, it's all about releasing the pressure you feel by opening. Of course, as you know, I'm at the beginning of my journey, but reversing the concept has really helped me.

Hope my modest experience will help you.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)
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tweeby
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 9:49 am 
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^Thanks Daniel, even though I've been in The Game (TM) longer, I still think I can learn a lot from you.

18th February
Woke up early to catch her again. Opened two girls at the bus-stop.
Was fairly calm this morning.

I saw her. This time she was sitting at the top of the bus, but she was with a friend.
Ahhhh, I'm just using this as an excuse to not open her....

Improvements
I could have just opened her when she was crossing the road. Or when she went to the cash point. Or whenever...I'm just too chicken shit! I am, I am I am.

How to overcome this
No masturbating till I do this. Open like mad. This weekend is going to be a sarging session extravaganza. Definitely opening in the morning before getting on the bus works. After I've attempted a number close I am GOING to let this one go. I'm already kinda getting oneitis over this girl and my priorities are getting thrown out the window.


Tonight going out so looking forward to having drinks with the lads and hitting some bars.

Saw a job in town which looks like my cup of tea. Went in to ask about it but the lady was a right FUCKING bitch.

She said,"Sorry the job is only second line support experience."

Fuck you, I have 1st line support experience and have single handedly managed our God damn ERP system for three FUCKING years!!! PPPPPffffffft.

OK... got their web site address so will apply for this online.

CALM CALM, will meditate and finish reading the Power of Now.

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here-vp445642.html#445642
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kasabi
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 3:29 pm 
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Tweeby,

Work on creating some tangible tasks out of those dreams and also make the dreams MORE concrete.: Example (Travel the World = Visit Southeast Asia by ______. Visit Eastern Europe by ______):

1. Put 30 minutes of 'research' into World travels every day.
a. Research my destinations.
b. Create a budget.
c. Possible Jobs I can acquire there.
d. Begin creating a social network from those destinations now!

^Something like this needs to be done with every topic.

Also . . . I think what I just wrote for another member of the forum might apply to you.
the-journal-of-a-fing-italian-vt84952.html?highlight=

Sloooooow it down. Breeeaaathe . . . enjoy the moment. You're on your way.
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tweeby
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:29 pm 
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Hey Kasabi,

Much respect for replying... I always value your feedback.

Today was a crazy day. Wasn't really dressed for it but went to the opticians for an eye test. And OMG every single member of staff in there was like a 10. The girl examining was serious drop dead gorgeous. And I was not dressed at all for the occasion.

Just reminds me I seriously need to treat every day as a possible day to flirt. This is my problem.

Kasabi details! Yes you're right here is my start.

I'll start off...

Travel the world
I'd love to visit France by myself and the far East specifically China. I mean... Japan or the Great Wall. WOW. Anyway, I don't have a job so China is probably off my radar until I do. This year however, it's absolutely possible to organise a day trip to France.

1. Will save and plan to go to France before July this year.
2. Will look at places to stay- hostel sounds cool.
3. Will start trying to learn how to speak the language :) [Look up language courses]
4. Before that I want to learn how to visit a different city on my own. I haven't even done this yet. So I will try going place in the car using SAT Nav gradually increasing difficulty as my confidence increases.
5. Will visit my cousin who lives in Birmingham before end of March.
6. Will go see my other cousin in London before end of March.

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642
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tweeby
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:25 am 
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21 February

Chilled out, went to town with my mate and cruised and talked about women.
Saw this mad hot chick in the job search centre. Am going to try and number close ask her for a coffee tomorrow :)

Went to a concert with this older chick I know... Loads of girls singing opera... Actually enjoyed it. Rang up for a part time language course. Will sign up immediately.

Hopefully, will have something about Game to add to this journal soon :D

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tweeby
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:00 pm 
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OK so I realise I'm still making excuses.

Last two times I was supposed to go out and do my day game I didn't.

The fear of approach is coming back. And I still can't control my urges to look at porn.

I need to get under wraps.

Also, the two main targets I've seen, bus-stop girl and girl at the job centre, I'm delaying seeing because I'm a FUCKING PUSSY and waiting for the right moment to arise!

This is the shit that I've been doing all my life.

OK...Enough... My next plan is to cut down internet porn to twice a week at the end.

Also, finding a job is seriously hard work. Even the volunteer stuff and organising to go on courses it's like swimming against the current.

Anyway, I must plow onwards.

Tomorrow, I'm going out in the afternoon to the mall... Will look smart and have five openers ready. Then in the evening there is a house mate's party.

Look forward to that. Must try not to let the scenario with my mates affect my state. Tomorrow is about me, and pick-up.

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here-vp445642.html#445642
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kasabi
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:31 pm 
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Tomorrow, I'm going out in the afternoon to the mall... Will look smart and have five openers ready. Then in the evening there is a house mate's party.

Look forward to that. Must try not to let the scenario with my mates affect my state. Tomorrow is about me, and pick-up.
Go get yourself a calendar and plug this stuff in. If you use a smartphone, there are lots of options for this.

Write more openers and routines. Writing 20, 40, 60 ideas and picking your favorite 5 is different than finishing when you get to 5 and calling it quits.
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