How it started

Hi, I'm Raising.

I can remember the first time I wanted to become a charmer. I was at one of my first parties I attended, I must have been around 14. There was this girl with big brown eyes, I took an instant liking in her, though had only made eyecontact with her. Then like how it always starts, some guy walked up to her and after a while they were making out. Couldn't sleep that night, plots and schemes flashed through my head.

Why wasn't I that guy?


But you know how it goes, daily rituals come back, promises to yourself get blurry. You start not even wanting to consider change, because the thought of being vulnerable like is just too scary.

Yet I think that day was the day Raising was born, A desire to be the sexiest man I could be. A desire to teach and raise myself to be the sexiest man I could be.

Raising a charmer.

The next 8 years

It's a bit painful to see where I wanted to be where I was 14 and what I actually accomplished to be 8 years later. After that night, 3 years passed where I came to live with the fact that I was shy and just not very good with girls.

Until I met a tourist who became my girlfriend for 2 days before she had to go back. She was my first kiss, I was 17 and it happened in a dark spot under the stairs from the stage where people were performing. (Very romantic if you don't consider the fact that she instantly put her tongue in my mouth and started moving like a washing machine )

In the next 2 years I made out with a couple of girls, but was still a virgin. I started searching the internet for advice on seducing girls. So I discovered mystery, and Neill Strauss
and David D
and.. Tyler, Jeffy, David X, Gambler, Gunwitch, Adam Lyons, Hypnotica, Ross Jeffries, Sinn, Brad P, 60 years of challenge, Juggler, Zan Perrion, Love systems, mehow, yad and probably a dozen of other pickup 'gurus'.

Needless to say I was reading way too much. But it felt good, it was like I was solving my problem. After a year or so I started going out with some people who also wanted to improve their pickup skills. I started getting a make out now and then at the club and a while later, when I was 20, I lost my virginity to a girl I met at a party.

The first girl became my fuckbuddy for a while, she was pretty cool, I'm sure I sucked pretty hard bedwise, but she would tell me I was good. This way I gained more sexual confidence and in time I got better in bed. After meeting up for sex for a while, I kind of got tired of her and stopped seeing her.

The following two years, right uptil now could both be described as succesful and as a bit depressing. About a year after not seeing this girl, I came across another girl. We had sex only once in a pretty drunk mood, afterwards I didn't really wanna have much to do with her. To make the other stories a bit shorter, I had sex with 5 other girls afterwards. I'm 22 now and had sex with 7 girls, so in a way I'm happy that I have a pretty normal 'score', I was always ashamed when people asked me howmany girls I've had Of those 7, 3 were fuckbuddies, 4 one night stands that I for some reason didn't want to see again afterwards.

I felt especially extatic when the last 2 lays happened only 2 days from eachother

** If I could post images allready, here would be a cheering pic of Johnny Chase **



Though lately I still feel kind of down, I'm still not much closer to where I want to be, a social, well expressed and charming guy. Here are some observations about myself from the past few years:

- I still have problems with approaching
- I hate it when someone doesn't like me, so I care too much what people think of me
- I feel like I can't hold an interesting conversation and girls won't like me or find me weird. I often kind of go blank
- I feel more like a boy than a man
- The quality of girls was ok, but never someone I could fall in love for
- There are periods where I'm doing more approaches, but it's allways followed by a hard relapse, where I'm worse off than in the beginning. After a while I crawl back into my comfort zone for a few months.
- My posture and clothing could use improvement
- I can't get there alone, I've tried, but always seem to lose motivation or start being insecure after a while
- I have no idea how to get rid of habbits and install new ones, how to get permanent changes

First night out again

My friend and I both decided to start going out again without drinking ourselves to oblivion. We had two openers in mind that we could use when we arrive at the clubs.

girls with wheels
I accidentally opened two girls who were talking by making a remark to my friend about them, which they heard. At first the brunette was a bit pissed off at me and started talking to my friend (unfortunatly for me this was the hottest one). I start talking with the blonde and she starts digging me. We have some fun and the blonde one is saying how much of a pussy guys in my country are. After a while she was asking me to go home with her, but I wasn't attracted to her. After giving her a peck on the lips we leave for another club.

twerking girl
Our plan wasn't going as well as we had hoped. We both saw girls that were attractive, but were standing in group. I guess we didn't feel comfortable being rejected with the friends around them, so we weren't approaching. After a while I see a girl standing alone, so I tell her I'll dance with her.

We start dancing and grinding eachother. I go for the make out a couple of times, but she turns her head. She keeps dancing with me, so I see it as a sign that she just means "not yet". After dancing some more and making her laugh with some stupid dance moves lifting her up and throwing her around, I tell her "but you didn't say anything about your neck". So I get the hair out of her neck and start kissing it. She was grinding on me hard, which made me so horny. Now before I wanted to try make out again I asked for her number, but she only wanted to give me her facebook. I saved her name, danced some more and went back in for the makeout, which she again rejected. We needed to go, so I said goodbye to her and left in good spirits and I was saying we were bff's now.

I added her on facebook the next day and the convo went like this:
me: We're official bff's now!
her: hahaha indeed
me: We should celebrate by dancing
me: Then I can exercise my favorite hobby some more, throwing you around some more
**** no response ****

lessons learned:
- Should try to build more comfort and raport, girls are not responding well enough when I try to talk to them next day.