I know this is long as hell. Just skip to the line break down below and read from there if you're impatient or don't care about backstory.

I think I already know what I'mma do with this girl, but just want to write it out as I've always felt that helps me get my mind together.

First, a lil about me. I'm a pretty successful example of PU's legititude. Was VERY AFC until around 21. Through the internet, I got in with a local lair that was booming during that time. We had a productive meeting with presentations every week. Even had a few girls who frequented these. We would regularly roll into clubs with a dozen+ super-hot chicks, and were on a first-name basis with staff/owners pretty much everywhere. I slowly developed my skills over the years, moving from canned game to a more natural one, and emerged with a very alpha vibe that people gravitate to (according to others not even involved in PU). This is how I met my girlfriend of 3 years, but that's another story. I'm currently 28.

So now background on this FR's situation. For the past year or so, I've worked at a restaurant with this little blonde 20-year-old cutie. She's actually my boss (though not the big boss). It's just a high-turnover restaurant though, so who cares. She's quite attractive, regularly getting guys asking for her number at work and having "regulars" that come just to see her (or ask about her if she's not there). In fact, one of the creeps is a co-worker who came on strong, and ended up getting rejected. Even so, a few weeks ago, he straight up gave her an iPhone 5. SMH.

For most of my time there, we worked opposite shifts and literally would only see one another as the other left. During all this time, I was in a LDR with a girlfriend of three years who's overseas at uni in her home country, so I never bothered gaming this girl or paying her much attention. And here's the kicker. She is also in a 3-year relationship and living with her boyfriend. DUM DUM DUUUM

Well, a few months ago, I got moved to opening the store with her early in the morning four days a week. Even then, I was in a relationship, though it had evolved into to a physically open one (I just couldn't do it anymore after a year of no physical female intimacy). But because of her relationship, I didn't really start gaming her, though my baseline frame when dealing with women period is an attractive cocky-funny alpha one so that might count. I actually overheard her saying to a co-worker once that she thinks I'm hot. At least, I think she was talking about me. The co-worker said she should tell her boyfriend, and maybe he'd be into that. lol

Having to spend so much time together, this girl and I developed a very "friendly" relationship, sharing everything about ourselves on the daily. Of course, I carefully established myself in a certain exaggerated way, painting myself as more social than I actually am these days, and as a super sexually-active man-whore that many women desire, and as a guy with a girlfriend so head-over-heels over him that she'll let him sleep with other women just to keep him.

After a short while, our relationship escalated physically, starting as playful violence. For example: fake punching, choking, pushing each other out of the way, hip bumping, etc. It evolved, and now I can now pretty much have my way with her: grab her at will, touch her face, slap her ass, etc. We can occupy the same foot of space with complete comfort, which is actually what's kind of driving me crazy about her. Standing a few inches from the side of her face and smelling her hair always gives me a lil stiffy. She seems to be consciously putting us in these situations, choosing to be there when there are other options that one would usually always take. Another manager actually started calling her my girlfriend. I could probably grab her tits, but I haven't braved those dangerous waters yet. The stakes are just too high in our situation. haha Her boyfriend would DEFINITELY not appreciate our ways.

We actually sideways had the conversation that'd we'd have done the deed if we weren't in relationships. See, I had inadvertently called her fat by saying she was "like a steamroller" when pushing me out of the way with basically her whole body. She playfully overreacted and stormed off to not hang out with me the rest of the work day. I gave in and publicly apologized (normally I don't do such a thing, but in this situation it was the right move). I went on to say, "I actually find you quite attractive." She was, "Ok... Now you redeemed yourself." Leaning against a table, looking over my shoulder at her behind me, I replied, "In fact, if you didn't have a boyfriend... it'd already be over, babe." She smiled and said, "But you have a girlfriend." I smiled and said, "Well, you know how that goes." We both laughed it off and had to go back to work.

So, months have gone by, but we're only working 2 or 3 days a week together now. My old 3-year relationship is in flux. We're not technically together, but we still SPAM daily, say we love each other, and she's still flying to the States to go on a trip with me next month, so... it is what it is. Any way, the target's relationship with me is evolving by the week. We now text each other outside of work and call each other "friend" (well, when I'm not calling her "bitch", "cunt", etc. to her face lol). To be honest, I have a feeling this emerging friend zone is her way of letting us get closer and connect without cheating and breaking her values.

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Well, last night was supposed to be our first meetup outside of work. I was supposed to get off work, take care of some things, and then meet the target, her boyfriend, and another co-worker at an outdoor concert in the evening. Later, we were gonna all return to the target and her boyfriend's place to crash. We'd drink and smoke around the pool the next morning/afternoon. It didn't work out this way.

We texted back and forth a couple times while I was at work, up until about 1pm when we stopped. The day before she was like, "Text me when you get off and on your way." So I did. At 4pm, I got off work. I texted her that I had a date (not true, just errands lol), and I'd be free around 6:30 to join them. Ended the text with, "What's ya'lls plan?" She never got back. But the "other co-worker" and I did engage in conversation, and I ended up picking him and his friend up at 8pm, neither of us having heard back from the target. I texted her once more at 9pm, "Don't tell me you're bailing on us tonight. Just picked up Dex." She never replied.

This pissed me off royally, though I'd never show it. I felt it to be a breach of confidence/trust and extremely disrespectful. Even if you have to cancel, you should say something. Even a fucking lie. Ugh! So now you guys know how I actually feel inside, but I can guarantee, she'll never get that much of a reaction. haha

The night ended up being absolutely terrible. The all-day concert/festival had been postponed for hours due to rain, so when we got there, there was literally NO one except some bums and friends/family of the performers. The co-worker's family member we came to see ended up being LAST to play. So I stood there with these two non-talkative stoned-as-fuck guys for long boring hours. The thing ended like midnight. I said, "You guys want to go to a bar or something?" Guess what? They had no money... none whatsoever. How do you hit the town with no money at all. WTF? So... I drove them an hour home and then drove an hour back home myself. Awful night. I was livid.

Well, guess who's text I woke up to this morning? "i didn't mean to bail i layed down to take a nap and ended up not waking up till now. Im sorry! yall can still come swim today if u want" Apparently got this txt at 9:45am. It's 1:40pm currently.

I'm trying to decide what I do. Don't know if I believe her excuse. If her excuse was legit, why wouldn't she have replied to my 4pm text? I'm almost certain I'm not going to her place to hang out today. She's on my shit-list. My frame is: I don't waste my time and have moved on; she has a lot of making up to do to be my friend. I don't think I'll even reply to her text. (frame: too busy.) That way, at work tomorrow, I can continue my push (instead of my usual pull) and get her desperate to get good with me.

Whatcha think? Should I just ignore her today like I'm thinking? Should I accept her apology and go hang out? Should I not hang out but txt something back? Whatcha think?

Doesn't matter what my girl wants. We're not technically together now, and she knows that means I could move on and am hanging out with other women. Even if we were together, she'd accept it as long as it's purely physical. These were the terms of our open agreement. I hook up fairly regular, a few times a month at least. Usually these are one-and-dones when my girl's SPAM shows aren't quite doing the trick, but I do have a couple fuck buddies, too. This situation is different than usual though in that I spend significant non-sexual time with my coworker. There's much more of a danger of one of us falling for the other than usual, I suppose. As of right now, I honestly don't how I feel towards her in that regard. Obviously I want to fuck her. But do I want more?

On my boss' end, honestly, I don't know exactly where we stand. Have the feeling she's kind of in the same boat. I know we're both physically attracted to each other. I know we both like each other's company a lot and have a lot in common, both in terms of now and history. I know we both want to be out-of-work friends, at the least. Sure, I may be off-base and she does just want to be friends, but I have a feeling that this is just going to be a stopgap or a means to explore our relationship further without breaking rules. What we're doing is really the only way I could think that someone could ever weasel their way into her current relationship. She's a pretty disciplined, completely faithful girl. Or... maybe she wants to be friends so that if things ever went sour with her current guy, I would be there to possibly take his place. Who knows? Like I said, she's 20, so I doubt even she does.

You can't tell from the way I've been talking, but I'm not the kind of guy who would fuck her life up just to fuck her. Actually, now that I think back, I remember telling her this once. I said I care too much about her and have too many other options to mess her life up just to fuck her, but if I wanted her as my girl, I wouldn't care about hurting other's feelings and would just take her. She just said, "Yeah." lol

Alright, need to get my thoughts together on how this situation has evolved. It certainly has. Not totally sure if in a good or bad way for me, but things are afoot one way or the other.

So... three days later after this girl bailed on us, we worked together again. I just completely ignored her half the day, acting cold towards her, but being my usual talkative self to everyone else. Didn't even greet her good morning. Bout half through the day, as she was walking away, she said something to the effect of, "You need to stop being mad at me. You know you love me." Later, about an hour to me leaving work for the day, I had to see her in private about something, and so I "confronted" her at that time. I kind of calmly "let her have it". I just told her that I wasn't mad, just "disappointed" in her and that I don't appreciate my time being wasted. Said that she's lucky we work together because if we had just met, and I was stood up like that, that would've been a wrap. Ended with she'd have to make it up to me if she's serious about wanting to be friends. She asked how, and I simply said I'd let her figure that out. So shortly after she heard it from me, I gave in and said, "Ok, we can be good again" and opened my arms for her to come get a hug. "For now." Normally I try to be nonreactive, but that doesn't include when you're being taken advantage of. I felt slighted. A man will reveal that with calm confidence so to see that it does not happen the next time.

But that's when things changed. For the next three days, things were awkward. She began purposefully avoiding me, like hard. Purposefully avoided touching when we had to be in the vicinity of each other. I didn't really let it show until she tried to leave one day without even saying goodbye whatsoever. I walked up to her as she was about to walk out the back door and was like, "Hold up. What is this? Just gonna leave up out here without even a goodbye?" She was like, "Goodbye (meeee)." I gave her the claw, a "hmpph" and sent her on her way. Sent a text a lil while later (she knew I was still at work or otherwise I wouldn't have).

"Are we good? You've been different the past couple days." She answered right back but very brief. "Yah we good." At the time I thought I had fucked it all up or something by reacting too much about her standing me up. This is why I tried to reframe it as friendly: "k, i'll take your word for it. we spend too much of our lives together in this place to be hating back and forth. "

This past week has been okay. Not the same as before, but she's gradually opening back up to me. She's not avoiding any more, but she's also not going out of her way to spend time with me like before. And our time spent together is shorter than before. It's not that she's less interested, because when we talk, we talk looking deeply into each other's eyes like we used to. We get deeper and deeper into conversation, and then it's almost as if she drags herself away, if that makes any sense. It's hard to explain without being there in it and knowing how it was before. I may be misreading, but it's this behavior that's starting to make me believe that her boyfriend is the one driving the way she's acting. I know she talks a lot about me with him, and I'm sure she told him about me confronting her. If I was him, I'd probably think this other guy was interested in her. Based on what I know about him, I wouldn't be surprised if he reacted with jealousy. Well this and the fact she doesn't answer my texts when she'd be with him, but does so immediately any other time.

Today she asked me to bring my complicated open-relationship (ex?)girlfriend, who's coming to visit me later this month, over to her house and/or figure out something for us to do together.

Any way, that's where we're at. I've been in a neutral holding pattern the past week, neither pushing her away nor pulling her in. I've been touching her probably 50% less, especially given that she's rarely initiating it like she did. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know what I want out of this girl in the end, but I'm starting to hate being "stuck" around her with no momentum and, honestly, missing her heavy attention.

In the following days, I'm tempted to either:
1) pull her in strong by going out of my way to talk to her and touch her
or
2) push her away strong by being deliberately cold and ignoring, but being warm with others nearby

If the boyfriend jealousy thing is the cause of her standoffishness, pulling would be the correct move, because as we all know, getting a boyfriend to react jealously is like him putting his girl's pussy on a platter. Pulling is what I'm most tempted to try: just to test the waters of her compliance and get a feel for where she's really at. Then again, if I push... like really push, it will be obvious because we usually joke around all day, tease, talk, etc. She will definitely notice and that will have some effect. Just not sure what kind. Hm... Push or Pull? Push or Pull?