I've lived most of my life having approach anxiety. I question myself on transit, in a club, and with friends. I do not escalate nearly enough. I don't know the boundaries of what I can and cannot do with women. I am not happy with the physical attractiveness of women I encounter. I haven't had good sex in years. This is some of the stuff in life that WILL change. Here's my stories...

Day game - 30 minutes in the downtown core.

This is the first time I've worked on my game this year. I get onto transit and immediately notice an HB6 sitting by the window. I sit close to her but don't make a move because she is sitting in a different row and there is someone sitting beside her. The person next to her gets off a few stations later. I think about changing seats but don't (-1). Shortly after someone else takes that seat and she eventually gets off transit.

I arrive downtown. The sun is shining and I'm smiling and putting myself in a good frame. I see an HB7 crossing the street. We're going in opposite directions. I couldn't have stopped her in the crosswalk but should have turned after her (-1).

I see an old friend half a block later. We chat a little putting myself into another good frame of mind. I tell him I'll see him tomorrow at a mutual friend's party tomorrow night and am on my way again. I see a group of five HB6 / 7s, but don't have the balls yet to approach them all during the day. I think to myself one day I'd like to be able to do that.

I continue navigating the streets but nothing really catches my eye. There are a few HB8s but I don't approach them. I see them too far ahead and my own mind gets the better of me. I find the more my eye is on the lookout and spot an HB far ahead, the more time my mind has to increase the amount of AA I get.

Then it happens...

I see an HBAsian9 just in front of me. She has freckles and an amazing body. I have to approach. I let her go just past me and then I turn around. She notices and starts to turn around before my index and middle finger touch her arm to turn her around. MIstake #1. She looks a little scared / shocked and I say...

Motion: "Hi, I just saw you walking past and I had to say that you look beautiful today"
HBAsian9: "Thanks..."

And then she quickly turns and walks away.

My first reaction is "Fuck," but that is quickly replaced by "Fuck YEAH!" I approached. My first one of the year and although it was quick, I did it.

What I could have done better...

Instead of just saying "Hi, I just saw you walking past and I had to say that you look beautiful today," which is just a salutation and directly into the compliment, I should have said "Hi, I normally don't do this, but I just saw you walking past and I had to say that you look stunning today." This incorporates the salutation, ROOT and the compliment. I could've also done a tease about something she was wearing but honestly I was just blown away as I'm not normally attracted to Asians.

Shortly after this approach, I checked my phone and I was called into work. I would've like to do more approaching but money is more important to this poor college student. Until tomorrow...

Good first approach

So I haven't been as diligent as I should have. Finals came up fast and I focused on that section of my life as well as exercising 5 times a week.

But fast forward to last week...

April 27, 2013

Was invited to a birthday at a public house (bar) by SchoolHB7. I've had my eye on her for a while but have tried to play it down as she is a good / shy girl. When I get to the bar, I see AssHB6 who I've made out with before. Had no idea this girl was going to be here. Things were casual so it's cool, not awkward. Get into the bar, talk with AssHB6 and her two friends (who I met outside). It's still early 10pm (?) so I mingle and try and build some social proof. Touch base with the birthday girl and her friends.

Then SchoolHB7 arrives. We hit it off with conversation but she is nervous. Fidgeting, and not being able to keep her hands still. Talk to her twin sister, keep social proof going. Float around the group introducing myself, continuing to keep the conversations flowing, people laughing. NOT trying to be a dancing monkey.

Go to dance. I'm decent at dancing as I do it on Tuesday nights (with a partner) so leading isn't a problem. AssHB6 and one of her friends comes out. Eventually both are grinding into her side-by-side. Competition, excellent.

Talk a break, go to the bar, run into people that went to my high school (10 years prior). Introduce myself. BlondeHB7 and TallHB6 are in the group of 4 girls. Neither recognizes me until I say who I am. I've changed a bit. Make them laugh, dominate the flow of conversation. BlondeHB7 seems like a go, but I decide that it's too risky with other prospects (should I have done this?) so I exit.

Go back to SchoolHB7, drag her onto the dance floor, she grinds, or tries? Not working. I turn her around and control the movements, start making out. (+1)

After the makeout, get some air, try and find AssHB6 but she's gone. It's late and SchoolHB7 needs to take the train. I have to work in the morning so this suits me fine (although it shouldn't). I take another train home.

Overall what I think is a good night but I need to escalate for a SNL.

May 4, 2013

An ex co-worker invited me to his house party. I was hesitant to go because he works in the IT industry so I assumed sausage fest. I get there and I'm pleasantly suprised to see a few women. First things first, I drop off my beers while saying hello to the women (of course they're in the kitchen) and start talking to the men. About 15 minutes into the conversation, I can't stand talking about their work or my work so I bail and chat up KoreanHB8. She's 24 and a dancer. Seeing her body, I can tell. Unfortunately, she is also on the eyes of my ex co-worker who invited me so I keep the conversation to a minimum and continue through the crowd.

Next is her roommate, AsianHB7. She's cute but doesn't have as outgoing a personality as KoreanHB8. Decent body (which most asians have) and tight jeans which make her ass perk up and look amazing. I go through the typical conversation topics of what do you do, why did you move to Vancouver (she's only been here a few months), and what do you do for fun. I always talk in question / statement or statement / question so it's not like I'm asking her 20 questions without providing any value to the conversation. I tease her when I can, touch her whenever I feel and can see she's engaged. It's still early so I eject.

I talk to SerbianHB6 and ChineseHB6 for a while but SerbianHB6 is more interested in a relationship than fun and ChineseHB6 has some major baggage issues. Neither interest me so I go back to the two roommates. At this point KoreanHB8 is standing closer to me and once she finds out I dance as well (practice with a partner Tuesday nights JUST for this reason), she starts giving me IOIs. Laughs and smiles at half the stuff I say and hits me when I tease her. This is good but also bad as I'm supposed to be the wingman. Where my friend is, I have no idea. Eventually I'm forced to eject because I don't want to be *that* guy as me friend has dibs... tonight...

I eventually find him, tell him to tease, escalate and find out where her limits are (aka continue escalating until kiss). It's 11:30pm and the party is dying down since most people showed up at 7pm, while I got there much later. I tell the two roommates I'm going to go dance somewhere downtown as it's early. KoreanHB8 wants to join me but I tell her I'm meeting friends at a pub first (to give my friend more time) and I'll let her know after. I get her number but I don't call her as I need to give my friend a chance.

I leave the party to go to an irish pub to meet up with AssHB6 from last week. We've been exchanging texts occasionally throughout the week, with her initiating so I know it's on. She's probably disappointed in how last week ended for her.

I get to the pub, go to grab a drink and AssHB6 finds me. She introduces me to her friends and I tell them about the party I just left to build up social proof. Eventually its just me and AssHB6 talking again and I keep the conversation light, flirty and make her laugh by calling her out on her opinions. She wants to dance so I lead her to the dance floor (be the man and ALWAYS lead her to different spots). There she talks about last week and what is up with me and SchoolHB7. I advise that I haven't had sex with her and it's not a relationship. I also tell her I do not want a relationship, I just want fun. She's cool with both. We start dancing, I start escalating but she's nervous about making out in front of her friends (anti-slut syndrome). I tell her that she shouldn't worry about being judged and just go with what feels right. She pulls me deeper into the dance floor and we make out. This goes on for a while until her friends want to leave. She asks me to take the train home with them. It's late now for me too so I agree. When she's about to get off the train, I pull her aside and give her two kisses (one too many). I hesitated on the first kiss and went for the cheek. I then quickly man-ed up and took the lips. (-1)

When I got home, I saw a text from her thanking me for coming out.

Summary

KoreanHB8 - Seems into me. I'll give my friend some space but if he has no progress this week, I might try and get all four of us out (her, roommate, me, him) and let the chips fall into place.

AssHB6 - DTF. Got the feeling both nights but logistics didn't work for either of us. This week I'm back to school so will probably hold off until later this week.