OK, I had to make a short title to make it fit, the main reason why nothing happened is because I didn't make a move .
But please let me know what you would have done differently.


BACKGROUND
I know this girl since the time she had a boyfriend.

We met twice: once out with common friends once and I stayed longer with her, dancing and having some good time (don't like spending time with girls I know there are few chances to end up with, but hey, didn't wanna go home either and she was the only one staying ).
Second time early on a Friday for a couple of beers before going out "for real" with other friends. Had nice time/chat. She still had a BF.

Now something like a couple of weeks ago I comment on something on her FB and she is really eager to see me again (several messages; told me "write me when you're back in town"; I don't write and she writes once again to set up the meeting).
As I expected and as I would find out later she had become single in the meanwhile, but I never actually brought myself to ask directly as I didn't care much and as I thought it would have put "romantic pressure" on the meeting.



THE MEETUP AT MY PLACE
I propose my place for wine, then a bar in front and then a club (important note: the club, a commercial one with a name for being populated by scantly dressed girl was not actually one of her liking).

She is really excited about the idea.

At my place we basically sit on two different couches (NOT side by side and not at an arm's length), drink wine and talk about a lot of things. We were both quite comfortable.

She told me me she had dated a guy twice and she could see that if she had been willing to go further a relationship was in the cards. But she wasn't willing (to start anything now, I guess she meant).

I don't make a move at all while at my place thinking to do so at the bar or later at the club when physically closer and then eventually go back home together.



ON THE WAY TO THE NIGHT OUT
It had gotten quite late actually, almost 3 I reckon and the bar was closed.

I make a move to hold her hand.

I don't remember if my "hand holding move" was before or after she had told me she didn't really wanna go to the club. I reckon that if it had been after, it might have sounded like a last ditch attempt and might have seemed desperate.
Still I think I had to something anyway because after such a long evening and at the third meetup (even though in the first two the sex/romantic question was "officially" off the table) I was risking big time of entering the friend zone.

Anyway, she actually retracts her hand and say "oh no sorry, I told you" (I think she was referring to the fact she didn't want a romantic connection now).
She adds something like "and I was just thinking it was such a great evening".

I take it very lightly, confirm it was a great evening and as if nothing had happened just try to talk her into the club.
That was a mistake, I think. It might have either sounded desperate or, more likely, that I was more interested in the silly -for her- nightclub -or in the slutty girls in there- than in her.

I should have accepted it and just added "I hope to see you soon again, you still owe me a wine at your place" or something like that rather than being boyish and push for the club thing with a girl that is not really into clubbing (dumbass you! ) .




AFTER THE EVENING
She, 1st message
Ciao Lucifer7 (yeah, I post with my real name )
I want to thank you for the very nice evening yesterday!!!!!
I really enjoyed the time with you! Please appologize my reaction on your try, but as I told you... Hope you understand and you are not angry with me:)
How was Metro? Have you met someone?

She, 2nd message
what time did you get home then?
and with how many girls, hahaha

She keeps investigating twice about my evening but I keep evading that question with a joke (quite well received actually) and by skipping.
Hinting you found some girls might make you sound like you're superficial and not much into her, while saying "no girls" might have "lowered the value" (what would have done instead?).




What do you guys think? What would you have done differently?
Please share, eager to read some comments/feeds!

A bottle of wine maybe ask if she prefers white or red.While most say nothing and drink it, some have said no thank you so my new routine greatly increases the odds to get her.    Aston Lovell

The first part seems to be good. She is chasing you, you should try and keep it that way if you can. She was excited about the plans to see you but not overly keen to go to the club.

If that was me, I would have planned my night alot better. Try and think out every possible scenario that might happen. So your somewhat prepared if the night takes a different course and you can keep it on track.

1. First off I would have invited her over earlier in the evening for wine like 6-7pm. Load her up on as much wine as you can. After drinking all that wine she will be alot more relaxed. And it shouldn't be awkward or uncomfortable. Come up with any excuse or trick to sit next to her on the couch. This is when you should be building comfort and seeing how she reacts to subtle touching. If she pulls away or you get the vibe she didn't like that. Then try that again later but stop it for now. Basically just get her comfortable with you being fairly close to her.

If she was drunk enough or you were really smooth you could of f closed her before you left your house. But that might not of happened. I have had women mention guys they are dating with or their ex boyfriends while your on a date or hanging out with them. I don't know WTF they say that crap. I just act kind of AFC and agree their ex boyfriend or date sounds like he treated you bad or whatever. I don't know how to tackle this kind of test really. Especially when they talk about sex with their ex or some other guy. I just think why are you saying this. I don't think you want to hear me talk about having sex in detail with other girls but anyway. All I can gather is she is hinting to you that she is single and out seeing guys and the other guy she was seeing isn't going to work out.

2. If the drinking/talking on the couch got stale or an awkward silence happened. This would be the time to say lets go to that bar now . The bar if it has music and ambiance will again allow you to sit closer to her so you can hear her and talk. If you didn't build enough comfort and spark some interest at home you should be able to do it at the bar fairly easily and be touching her by now or dancing or something like when you stayed back and were dancing with her the first time. She should be pretty relaxed from all the drinks she has had. Don't make it awkward and hold her hand like its your girlfriend walking along the beach. If you wanted to hold her hand I would of just grabbed her hand in the bar and lead her through the crowded dance floor or a busy line or something. So you don't look like a lame ass trying to hold hands for no reason

3. I think she pulled her hand away because you did nothing prior to build comfort. She prob thought why did he just go and hold my hand for no reason, that was weird. And then she said that comment.

Think of good reason/excuse why you planned to go to the club after the bar (good drinks, good DJ, have to see a friend, bar is closing) and agree with her, I hate all those skanky girls who wear revealing outfits, but we have to go because of ......... .
If things had been going well at the bar I would actually use that to make her want to go back to your place.
When she says I don't like clubbing.
Then say, you know what actually your right lets just go back to my place and hang out and talk/drink.

Or now you could hold grab her hand on the street and lead her into the club or the line. I don't know why you want to take her clubbing anyway if you know she doesn't like it. If she pulls away at least you can act jokingly and grab her hand again and say come on lets go in for one drink. But I don't know why you want to take her somewhere she doesn't like and isn't going to be happy or comfortable. Maybe you want to kill her self esteem by making her jealous of all the half naked girls in the club.


Its not clear from your report. But I'm guessing she refused or didn't want to go clubbing and didn't feel comfortable enough to hold hands with you in public. So you ditched her or she ended the date and went home and you went clubbing anyway?
That is kind of cool lol. Not caring if she approves or not and still doing what you want to do. But that wont get you laid on the night.

Its good she is texting you. That shows that she is sort of jealous and wants to know what you did that night, so she must have some interest in you.

I would text back something like:

Hey your welcome, I was having a really good evening with you too. Apology accepted, I was actually a bit surprised by your reaction. Hope you understand we did make plans and then you stood me up. I'm not angry I just didn't think you were that kind of girl.

Metro was insane I met so many cool people that night. Oh I can't remember what time it was, maybe lunchtime. I think I stumbled in the door with about 10 girls under each arm.