| Primer: I received a phone call from a coworker to go hang out at a local bar. I never turn down an opportunity to be social, so into the shower, I went.
The venue is a relaxed bar with low music. Enough to hear and still carry on a normal conversation. Dark wood tones and lots of candles. I entered as I normally do, giving dap to the doormen and walking right in. I walked to the bar, grabbed a drink and made one pass, just to observe the room. About 5 minutes later my friend arrives. I immediately enter a set, just to warm up and get the first one out of the way. I opened and was repulsed by the horrible dentistry and cloud of cigarette smoke. I graciously exited, returning to the bar, taking up the alpha position. There was a loud mouth sitting down two chairs away, blabbing to the bartender about some nonsense. After discussing some work related business with my coworker, I opened the loud mouth. She starts telling me about her cousin, who can't meet guys. We spoke for a couple of minutes when a 3 set takes up position on the other side of me. "Hey, this space is reserved," I said. All three of them stop in midsentance and stare at me. I cracked a smile. The hottest one said "I thought that I was gonna have to throw down." I should have taken this thread and worked with it, but, honestly, I didn't how to go forward with it. I spoke to the two obstacles pretty extensively, they started telling me all about the target. To be honest, I completely blew this set. All night, I was back and forth, not really trying all that hard to isolate the target, but she was pretty tightly woven into her set, especially after the 3 guys from her job showed up.
A few of my other friends showed up and I decided to go to the little boys' room and on my return to my friends' main base of operation, I got an AI from a HB10, I blew it. I AFCd out. I just shot her a cocky little smile and kept walking.
A short while later, the chick who was telling me about her cousin flagged me and my friend down. We walked over to find her cousin sitting with her. She was DHVing me to her cousin, I wasn't interested. I introduced myself and quickly exited. I walked right over and opened a two set standing 10 feet away. We spoke for a while, I got into some DHV stories. The three of us, playfully, started to joke back and forth about different things. My friend, who, at the beginning of the night seemed like he wanted to wing, was completely useless. He was sitting there, at the bar, drinking his face off. I had absolutely no opportunity to isolate my target because I had no one to occupy the obstacle.
By the time I knew it, everyone that I had been with was gone and I was stuck talking to the same two HBs. It was no big deal because they're pretty hot. On the other hand, I seemed to be unable to progress the conversation.
This night seems to be a complete juxtaposition to my prior night, when I went out with Zip. I was happy that I didn't feel the AA that I once did, but now, I want more. I want to be able to actually carry on a conversation and take control of it. I want to be able to steer a conversation in the direction that I want to take it. I was well aware of my lack of kinoing. I worked on it, did some more kinoing than I did the previous night and I didn't get any negative feedback. Next time, I'll up the ante. I'm afraid that since I had such a success on Friday, with Zip, that I am becoming dependant on a wing. I want to be able to effectively phase shift from A1 to A2 and so forth. I feel like I'm driving stick shift and grinding every gear. It's pretty frustrating. _________________ Life is a game. Win.
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