My dear brothers in arms,

Allow me to share my humble experiences with you.

About myself:

I am a 22 year old university student of a very traditional Chinese upbringing. Which meant that I was not allowed to date, or even have friends of the opposite gender. If my dear old mumsy hadn't kept reminding me that I was to get a job and find then a nice wife, I'd have thought that they wanted me to go queer.

But now, things are changing. Having completed my bachelors of science, I have found some time. Time, for self improvement. Time to change this charmless spineless sack of fat into a lean mean lady killer.


Now, everyone has his own set of strengths and weaknesses. The hand that chance has dealt you. But if man is intelligent and determined, weakness can be overcome and strengths can be reinforced further. Here is mine, and I welcome suggestions on how you would work on these skill sets.

Advantages:

1) I am bilingual and fairly well spoken.
2) I have completed a Bachelors of Science in Bio-techonology
3) I have sufficient monetary funds for a year of Masters or Honours.

Disadvantages:

1) I have no field experience whatsoever. (Never been to a night-club, bar, ect ect)
2) I have a very limited social network.
3) I find I have severe Approach Anxiety
4) I will be low on funds for sarging, should I pursue further education.


The First Night's Out

Having completed my examinations, and with a day left till my flight out of Australia and back home, I a free evening on my hands. Now, I could have sat at home and played team fortress till midnight, but thanks in part to the great members of this forum, especially two notables, Daniel Balboa, and Clozer, I decided to head out to seek my fortune instead.

After all, if you don't try, you will most definitely not succeed.

The location for the night was to be Metro City, a nightclub in the whitebridge district of Perth. And just so it happened, it was hosting an event that night for the Chinese community. A good opportunity, to test the waters. I would be surrounded by people of my own race and I thought that would make me a little more comfortable in my skin.

In essence, I was shaking in my shoes. I was, at the time, an AFC of the highest magnitude. I had never been to a night club before, nor been able to maintain eye contact with anyone, male or female. The results of Chinese "Culture".

Now, having been field tested, I feel a little less of an AFC.


The nights Objectives:

1) To develop confidence in posture and manner when in public view.
2) To develop steady eye-contact, especially with attractive women.
3) To acclimatize myself to such environs.
5) To maintain a friendly demeanor.
6) To open at least 3 sets and proceed as far as I am able.


The Action (Or lack thereof):

The first problem of the night asserted itself rapidly.

Without a car, I was forced to endure Perth's rather poor public transportation system, which meant, I spent a good portion of an hour waiting for a train, stewing and getting more and more nervous. In addition, Metro City was a godly distance away from my place. I caught myself preening into the reflective glass, over and over. Even with no one present. Classic signs of nervousness. And I must admit I nursed the idea of turning around back for home more than once.

The train finally arrived and I stepped in to see three girls, a 6, a 8 and the loudest 4 you could imagine; all 90kg of her squeezed into a cocktail dress. The 6 was a decent looking indian and the 8 was a model-esque caucasian, both of whom were dressed in classy little black dresses with matching boots.

Now, here I am ashamed to admit that my courage failed and I slunk away to the opposite side of the car, with a grand display of AFC-ness. But to add humiliation to the deal, the 4, the oily porker looked at me as challenged,

"What you looking at?"

I believe that she was the designated cock-blocker for the night.

But in consolation, the 4's friends looked somewhat apologetic, and I was able to begin a conversation - which went cold fast. All I really found out was that we were heading to the same destination.

We spent the rest of the trip in awkward silence. And I doubt that the 4 could look any happier.


Fast forward to the nightclub, I realized that I had arrived too early. 1030 was a bad time. N one was there and I felt my already shrinking levels of confidence curl up into a ball to die. 4, 6 and 8 had went off the moment the train stopped at Perth Central and went their separate ways, and so I was left alone, cold sweating and without any social proof. All I could do was hit the bar for liquid courage and to await the arrival of more people.

Over the course of two rum on the rocks, the attendees began to trickle in.

Another set, a 6 & and 6 of twin Malaysian sisters appeared, accompanied by an Indian fellow. This time I tried not to hesitate. The incident on the train having reinforced the importance of the 30 second rule. Which made sense - no one wants some chump staring at him or her from a distance. It seems vaguely stalker-ish.

I opened to one of the sisters, and acknowledged the Indian at the same time. I gave a cover story about myself being a tourist and new to the club scene in Perth - which they seemed to buy. Indian was nice enough, and introduced the twins to me, while I noted that he was obviously the Alpha of the group - the girls looked to him for cues before replying to me.

I asked the 6 & 6 twins about themselves, while the Indian left for drinks. Here it went sour and without their leader to cue them, they went silent rapidly. They soon left to look for the Indian, though I managed to carry the conversation for a few more minutes.

My last set of the evening was an isolated girl, a Chinese 7 in a side cut dress, and a little handbag. She'd done her hair up in a bun and caked on make up as if the world was ending. But overall still a decent picture. Noticing that she was alone, and using what I'd learned from from the previous 2 fiascos, I approached and asked "Are you alone?" -which is probably an amateurish mistake. She was obviously alone.

Unfortunately, she was expecting company and she quickly claimed that she was awaiting her boyfriend. But I maintained eye contact and she reciprocated. I cannot recall what we talked about, but it must have been for 10-15 mins, and as a plus, we parted amicably. At least she was smiling.

At this point, it was nearing 1 am and without a car, I was subject to the schedules of the trains, so I had to leave, but I did not leave without learning something.

All in all, not a good start, but could be worse. After all, I'm overseas tomorrow - new opportunities, new girls. New challenges.

I'm going to step in right here and say that completely separate from your PU learning, I really want to read more of what you write. Your language is delightful. Please add more to this journal.

As for your approach anxiety, I just went to a local daygame workshop in Montreal. It was great, and each approach makes the next approach a little easier... so why not look around and find some people to walk around and do approaches with? It's a lot of fun.

Also, approaching on the Metro is such a great topic, I want to write a new thread about it.

Thanks for writing.

_________________
I have two modes of living: Knowing what life is like, and learning what life is like. Though the first one is more restful, the second one is much more enjoyable.

I think you are being a bit rough on yourself. You approached and this was your first time trying night game. That's huge. I should pull up my first entry after a night out. It went something like this "This FR should stand for Failure Report because I didn't have the courage to do a single approach tonight."

When you are pursuing a long-path, its easy to succumb to the mindset of focusing only on the ultimate goal. But what you need to realize is that what it all comes down to is being better when you lay in bed to sleep than you were earlier that day when got out of that same bed. If you do that 300, 325, 350 times every year, you'll be amazed at the person you become in a year or two. Revel in the small successes, of which you have already accumulated several.

Salutations, my brothers!

Its been two days since the Metro City adventure, and here I am, a continent away. Flights are dull monotonous things, but it left me with some time to think and more importantly, to find some direction in my means of self improvement.

Working from the experience in Metro City, I took look back and noted that there had been many couples in the night club; many of them consisting of a pairing of sizzling lady of hb 7,8, 9 or 10 and a decidedly average or downright ugly looking guy.

Sugar daddies. I thought.

That was the first thing on my mind. Cynical of me, yes. But it was also a probable theory. These rich, influential men using their monetary resources to offset their looks.

But then again, in hindsight, there was one thing they had in common. They (the men) were cool and confident despite their appearances. They were comfortable dancing, with their fat wobbling about, they were comfortable frenching their girls in public. They were fearless, confident and completely at home where they were.

While it was highly probable that a good proportion of them were sugar daddies, it is not improbable to think that a quite a number of these average men had only one thing decidedly un-average about their persons. Not wealth, but confidence beyond the ken of the average man.

In contrast, I noted many younger, fitter, more handsome men - some in their teens, at the sidelines. They danced amongst themselves and swaggered about, looking like they owned the place. But they did not approach the girls. And so they did not get the girls. These men were in the same shoes as me.


So I concluded, that confidence, and the ability to project it in a cool, calm way would win the day. And with that thought, I stepped into Changi Int Airport.

And then, things got interesting.


The Vet-in-Training

Now, as for this flight, I had the good fortune of being bumped up to business class. I had a comparatively comfortable seat and access to all the movies I could watch, but instead, I looked around for some means of practicing.

Unfortunately, business class was as its name suggested, for business people. 20 other men, all well dressed and sporting stern appropriately business-like demeanors. The only female present was the stewardess, who was a Chinese lady, who looked very nice indeed in the baju kurung , which showed off her hips nicely. White browned hair coiffed up and almond eyes, she was an 8 at least, and had a sunny smile to match.

Perhaps I would have approached, but being in a cabin with 20 other richer, more successful guys dampened my enthusiasm severely. All I could do was practice looking confident and projecting a smile - which I did, every time she approached. Obviously, nothing came of this, but I thought it was good practice for gaming in public. And, it would have helped me attain the mindset of "Absolutely 0 fucks given"

These buggers are richer and more successful than me. So what? - or something along these lines.

I noted with some satisfaction, that while many of these men stared on while the hb8 stewardess walked around, none had approached either. A hollow and passive-aggressive sort of victory, but one which reinforced the importance of the aspect of confidence.

Now, stepping off the plane, I approached the final lap for international air travel; the mind numbing horror that is queuing up for processing through immigrations. But thankfully, this time, I had a distraction.

I had reached the queue fairly late, despite having been amongst the very first off the plane; because I got lost. I had not been to Singapore for a goodly period of time and I meandered myself in the wrong direction. And when I finally reached immigrations, a terrible queue had formed.

But right ahead me was a fellow student. She was a 6.5 in my estimation, and dressed rather boyishly, in bermudas, anime character tee shirt, cap and cloth jacket. With short black hair cut in a bob, I would say she was "cute" rather than beautiful. Let's call her "V"

Somehow, I fought against my self-consciousness and decided to open.

I faced her with my best attempt at a smile and confident look ( I hoped). V stopped, and when we made eye contact, she dipped her head slightly, a gesture which I took to be an IoI. Introductions were made and I got some basic information about her; things like her field of study and some of her interests, which included, unsurprisingly, small animals. I noted that she seemed quite chatty for someone talking to a stranger who she'd just met. No idea what to think of that.

I will admit that most of the conversation was a bit of a blur for me - and even now, I cannot consciously remember most of what we talked about. But we managed to fill up about 20 minutes till her turn came. I observed that she waited for me once she was done, which I took for a good sign. So, then, I asked for her number - with an invitation to meet up at a future date.

Most surprisingly, I got it.

The very first of many, I should hope.


What now?

I'll be seeing how this set proceeds, but as for now, there is still much to be done - long term goals to fulfill.
The long game is what I'm really after, and this small victory is no reason to rest on my laurels. I'm still decidedly average in stature, money and looks and a Bachelors of Science won't be worth much if I don't act on it. I understand that balance between the long term and the short term is important, as evidence by the very many successful and fulfilled people on this forums.

In fact, I find this sentence in particular from Daniel Balboa, very inspirational.

Which is so very true. Every inch of ground gained in this endeavor makes me a better man. Every objective met, every small victory and every defeat helps me inch forward a little more. Perhaps, writing this field journal will be a good thing - if I can set myself to the task of updating regularly, perhaps once or twice every week or so. Who knows? The future is uncertain.

But I am certain that the me who typing this now, is a little smidgen more confident that the me on 23-11-12. Just a smidgen.



Thanks especially to Daniel Balboa, the man himself who provided the quote above and Darling, who knows how to give someone a good boost of ego.

Cheers brothers. Keep being awesome