cacahuete's Journal - A man rises from his ashes.



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:16 am 
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I copy/paste my earlier reports back when I was starting here.

I'm in one of these moments that I just don't feel too lazy to start writing my own Field report...

Here's MY story.I have always been obese, my whole life, I loved bicycling but that couldn't stop the weight I was gaining because of my addiction to eating. To makes things 'worse' I lived without my father as he left us. I lived in a poor family and when I say poor, I mean POOR. I had to wear t-shirts in the winter (not that it bothered me, I had it fuckin hot because of the fat).
Needless to say I was getting bullied and I was the ultimate victim for them. I was always excluded, ignored. It was shit !

Now comes the puberty... pimples and acne. My confidence lowers EVEN more... until 2009. I remember myself starting to make a couple of friends (still lolling at me but fuck). I start to get motivated to lose weight which people told me was impossible to do, I weighted 120kg. Once home from school nothing could stop me, I was like a different person, I was a funny guy, cool.
The bullying had it benefits when I think of it now, just as being poor and living without a father helped me living on myself more, anyways: The bullying made me very socially awkward and emotional which gave me TIME and a WAY to work on my inner-self in a good way. I remember those Michael Jackson and 2Pac videos I would watch all day long (yea if I like an artist, I'm obsessed) and they gave me some kind of power I can't describe, for example I'd imagine myself saving a girl from a kidnapper on the music of Beat it, Seeing myself as a strong person like Pac.

July-August 2009 came, MJ just died, man did I cry ! I told myself this way of living was over, and literally that same day I started dieting. My best friend and I went running, running and running and I gave myself the reward to an attraction park as reward of good behavior. Now September 2009 came. Everybody was telling me I lost a shitload of weight, oh and did I.. 20kgs off. This was just the beginning of a long timespan of dieting.

Over the years I improved on my looks, my appearance etc.. Now the only thing I had to work for is money and my social awkwardness. To buy clothes so that's what I did via my own ways making a couple of thousands a month now. This is the year, 2011 btw I started working out too. I'm getting pretty big and strong now, fuck I just want to tell you guys that you can get everything in life if you just WANT it bad enough.

So social awkwardness is what's left over to work on. I stressed like shit to even talk to a cassier when paying money, basically because this is a place where people talk French and I just talk Dutch (a main language of the country too in Belgium btw). I started talking and talking, walking more upright, head up, looking people in the eyes. Now a couple of months later I even approached a couple of girls, then took a week of rest (lol) and now it's more difficult again.

I'm gonna let this be my journal for my way up to a total success with women. Let's start with what I did this week.

Well I talked to lots of people and did a direct approach to some worker in a gift shop 20/6.

20/6: Direct approached this morrocan worker, dang she hot. This time I just didn't think about it as it lowered my AA, she told me thanks, gave her a handshake, gave my name and then left... didn't know what to talk about due to AA.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:17 am 
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23/6: Hmmm I'm left with mixed feelings... Basically I don't feel any difference if I would approach a group, single women or with guys etc. I feel to much pressure from people around me.
I went to a big shopping street and this is where the pressure came.
On the other side, I talked with some people (not really what you would call an approach) but I did it confidently and while having fun.

I know I must do it and it's my fault and problem I didn't do it. Tomorrow is Sunday and that means almost nobody in the streets, so tomorrow I might be going to Rotterdam, Holland as shops are open there and damn are the chicks hot there, FUCKKKKKK YEAH



If it can be a help for some of you guys: when you think about what and how you will do it once you see her, just stop thinking. It makes it so much easier, for me the pressure killed it.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:17 am 
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24/06: Chinese tourguide.

So it's sunday and almost nobody on the street, decided to approach this chinese woman (like 30-40yo old), she's with a friend.

me: Hey, saw you standing here and though u looked pretty cute.
guide: (don't remember what she said. yes i'm bad at remembering things and stuff)
me: My name is ***, handshake. So what are you doing here?
guide: Well i'm visiting brussels blabla
me: I talk about brussels n stuff and say I'm leaving
guide: starts to talk again (she wants me to stay ioi)
we talked some more and then I left cause she wasn't pretty enough in terms of my standards (she was from far away).

Saw some other potential good candidates but didn't approach because of the fear to fail.




I actually approach in English now as I find it easier for myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:18 am 
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25/6 Went in town and approached a set of 2.

me: Excuse me ... saw you standing here and thought you we're cute.
HB6.58: Oh thanks
me: I'm *** (handshake)
HB6.58: I'm *** (forgot her name)
me: So this is your mother?
HB6.58 No LOL, this is a friend of mine, she's way to young to be a mother
me: (thinks fuck, but hey she looks old), I say bye and have a nice day.

Talked slow but not loud enough, will work on that. Wanted to approach more but was being a bitch at first.
In general I feel like things are going good :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:18 am 
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26/6 Went out in town with my wing.. approached 3 sets

First set are 2 australian girl, I just jumped infront of them while they were taking pictures, they left. After a 10 minutes we saw em again so we decided to try again.
We talke for like 5 minutes and then left, made their day, everybody happy !

Talked with some friend of my wing he met, he got her number (girl he likes), I talked with the other two and made them laugh some, while doing this I'm training my conversation skills, good.

Second set we approached were English tourist, damn we left too soon we realized cuz we could've had great times with them :)

Third set is a mother I approached, she rejected cause of her son getting out of the bus. Learn to be rejected, perfect !

Me: Hey, I saw you standing here and HAD to meet you
mum: Oh no, I've no time. My little son is getting out of the bus
me: Aight :)


A problem of mine is that I have trouble remembering faces and convos I had with them. Don't expect full accurate conversations, I will buy myself a mic though.
On the plus side I had a pretty good voice today, much louder than yesterday.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:19 am 
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27/6 On my way back from the gym at the bus-stop there was this good looking arabic woman and a fuckin' crazy old man.. Basically I didn't approach her but we started talking as we had a lot of eye contact and she started talking, I didn't go further than just answering. But i'm glad it happened as in some way it made me more comfortable for the next time.

So went out in the afternoon again and started asking questions to a black girl (warming up my convo skills, yes I do it). Then I talked with an arabic woman, great conversation about shopping, her country and I made her laugh a couple of times while teasing her with the fact she's plundering her parents' bank account.

I then bitched for approaching a set of 4. Later I got in trouble with this man, was together with his wife. We locked eye contact and he started about fucking me up if his wife wouldn't be with him. This was a TEST for me, I control myself, I win, I don't I lose ! I managed to stay calm and told him I'm not 15 anymore and do this kinds of fighting. You know, I wouldn't want his wife to see him beaten up (lol). I just told him to have a nice day and got out of the metro (subway).

On the stairs I saw this ass shaking, I mean, I saw a girl from the back. I approached her and it went something like this...

Me: Hey excuse me
HB6.9: Huh
Me: Yea I talk English. I saw you walking and I though u have a nice ass. The way you move it while you walk, I like that.
HB6.9 *SMILEES*
Me: That smile shows that u'r liking it
HB6.9: Haha, you don't say that, it's.... perverted
Me: You women do the same and don't talk about it, I'm just honest. What's your name?
HB6.9: Melinda
Me : I'm ***, where are you from?
HB6.9 Greece..

She had to go somewhere and I left.

Things that could've been done better in this convo?
I like having funny conversations, I guess I'm just funny... I find being serious so boring :)


HB6.9= A would-be 7.5 but retracted points for being a bit overweight.

PS: I just ordered a recorder and mic. What do you guys use to film ? I want to film it myself, so a sort of spycam ?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:19 am 
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28/6 28°C outside, that means getting out in town !

Overal I'm happy, but I didn't really expand my comfort zone, I'm working on making approaches and going out a habit though.
So beautiful day start with no approach, I chose to go somewhere else and started bitching so I did these 'warmup approaches' where I'd go and ask for directions etc..

I passed this girl and asked her where I could get some ice cream..

Me: Excuse me, do you know where I can buy some ice cream?
HB7: Over there, blabla
Me: Cause it's so hot and I'm melting and you make it even worse!
HB7: haha, someone calls and she picks up the phone
Me: So you're gonna let me stand here while I watch you calling?
HB7: 'tfuck face'

I left
On my way back to the bus home I saw a HB8 walking by and I said FUCK IT I'm goin'. While she was waiting at the traffic light I went and here it goes.

Me: Hey, I saw you walking and had to come and meet you
HB8: Owhh, she's flattered
Me: Yea I find you a beautiful woman (dunno if that was a good step) *HANDSHAKE*
Me: So tell me, where are you going to?
HB8: Well I work at the hospital and I'm going there

We then talked about work etc, it was boring and awkward.

***More humour and teasing next time. Also I need to tell more about myself


I feel myself getting better in conversating with strangers and telling what I think, approaching women and opening direct is difficult for me though. I noticed that I'm scared to approach while others are around me, to solve this I'm gonna go and say random bullshit in public places tomorrow.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:20 am 
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29/6 Went to a festival 'couleur café' and it was great ! Stiff at the beginning, rocking in the end.

So I did alot of approached and finally started some kino and I'm going to use it in my daygame also. At the beginning of the festival I didn't like to dance that much, was my FIRST FESTIVAL EVER btw (except for a birthday party a month ago) but after an hour or two I didn't give a fuck 'bout being sweaty or we I just dance, approached, had fun, got out of my comfort zones a little bit. I managed to hold a conversation with 2 arabic chicks and I noticed that you can really talk about what you want, it doesn't have to be perfect talk all the time you know ;). I feel much more confident and people see it in the way I look. I met a girl I wanted to get to know via fb and got her attracted, GOOD !

One of the points I have to work on is my nightgame, btw, is a music festival that starts at day and ends at night considered nightgame?

Tired as fuck today, dunno if I will approach alot, if I even do.. tomorrow without a doubt though ;)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:21 am 
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1/7 Lot's of people out on this sunday... sales and that means women in the city !

I used my mic for the first time and thus I will not write the convos I had.

Still have to work on tonality and way of talking, using my humour and shjet no kino ffs.. I guess it's because of still being nervous while approaching, anyway I see myself less giving a fuck about others around me and doing my thing. Also the conversations I'm having are getting longer and better :) :)


[video=youtube;wJtheR5BNms]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJtheR5B ... e=youtu.be[/video]


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:22 am 
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Second part of today's approaches

BTW: what's the easiest way to make captions for youtube?

[video=youtube;b8Akmg24-A4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8Akmg24-A4&feature=plcp[/video]


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:22 am 
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2/7 Went out this morning - noon and approached a HB8.25, damn was she a hot dingdong !

*Recorded this conversation and have to remark that I'm a bit more stressed and avoiding staying with her as I didn't want to run out of things to say (felt like playing safe shjet).
On the other side... I approached immediately (3sec rule) and it was my first HB8+ with a close (fbclose-num). Everyday changing and improving. Yesterday's improvement is today's comfort, that's my motto now
!

HB 8.25, heck yea
[video=youtube;ytck7qY643k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytck7qY6 ... e=youtu.be[/video]

Okay so I went out with my wing again and I just did things I didn't want to do.. fuck yeah :)
At some shop we went paying and some chick behind the checkout recognized me, so I asked her to write her name the ticket and voila.

*I'm gonna start asking numbers instead their FB


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:23 am 
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Okay I just got more motivation to go out now ! With having cancelled my surgery and losing the rest of my weight myself I'll need some things to do in spare time.
This is another big challenge, I feel like my mind is strong enough to just say NO to the food and being out all day improving myself. I'm telling this to anybody in the same situation as me and ur not alone.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:23 am 
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3/7

Went to gym and approached a group of 3... rejected who cares? :) Talked with some woman, anyway going out again this afternoon and plan to go through the roof !

So I went out again, to the shoppingstreets and heck, most of them were rejections. I found myself being a lil sad at the beginning but now I realize that it's actually good, I have to realize that I won't have them all succeeded. It's something else you know, and I makes me harder to stop !
I also had some good conversations with older women which is a good thing to exercise my talking.

*I approached more, still not all girls I wanted but more. I approached in a place with lots of people (people seeing me 'fail' being on of my fears), it's not that big a deal actually :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:24 am 
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4/7 + 5/7 on a trip to France with my wing

Got up early for my train to Paris, didn't know it would be that good there ! We went to Disneyland Park and started approaching, off course doing the rides too ! Before even entering I approach.... yea !, a friend of hers could get us in both parks almost for free. I was doing VERY good conversationwise, bodylanguage OK, kino fail.. anyway until I start getting a bit annoyed by the fact that my wing, who's just new and doesn't do much effort for pickup get's some chick I wanted (yea we both have the same taste !). Even the girl he didn't play wanted him, how do you guys do winging then? Is it because he's good looking?

ANYWAYYY as the night comes and we're still looking for a hotel we found this woman who was willing to share her room with us and it was great. We went to a restaurant for dinner, had loads of fun and it made me realize how bad I want to be able to have this whenever I want to. She had to leave to catch her flight soon in the morning though, didn't get the chance to say bye... I was pretty pissed of and missing her, until 8AM, breakfast that is. Second day we went into town looking for chicks and approached maybe 30-40 sets. I managed to fb close some, no #close due to diff. country. Most of the sets that went less better due to NO SMILING (just didn't feel like at some times), NO KINO and being pissed off for not being the leader of all the sets we opened.

Help */* Working points
Kino: I wanna start kinoing.. yea just touching duh, and I just freak out that's my problem, I think that she won't like it. Just gonna do it, gonna be creepy if I do it being self-concious in the beginning though.
Jealousy not being the leader always: Tips here pls? I'm always trying to be the best, which had it's positives and negatives, negative being I lose my humor and happiness if I see someone doing better. positive: I push to approach more sets (with a bad bodylanguage due to previous noted).
Also can't stand it when I accidently lose eyecontact with another man and start trouble.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 7:24 am 
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6/7 Approached in public places, not to start a big convo though, was already late for gym. Had a a birthday of my wing's 7yo brother, cool guy srsly he says the weirdest things.
Else than that to say, I feel better since France, approaching looks easier, I feel getting comfortable approaching in public places and hope to not lose this feeling. That's why I'm going to spend my whole day going to the city.

*Bad point: Not using direct openers: I feel like they just will walk away, and that's why they do. Fuck that and tomorrow is direct-saturday :)


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