Hi gang.

I need some help.

Ive been emailing a girl from work, back and forth. I would say the emails were ok. We have been having fun.
This has been going on for a few weeks, but it wasnt always like this. I found an apartment for her about 2 weeks which changed her mind about me.
All of a sudden emailing her was easy.

On Tuesday I managed to secure a date with this girl. It went ok, and I told her, that she had the wrong perception of me and I would like her to get to knoe me and likewise I would like to get to know her. She said "thanks for the info". I gave her a small kiss on her cheek, to which she replied "thats a good first step". She breifly told me she broke up wioth her bf 3 months and was very depressive - would like some time by herself. I told her that it wasnt my problem and she should sort that out herself.
Mind you I pretty much "begged" her for the date. She is always stressed out, always busy!

After a couple of days of emails I knew she was coming to my neighbourhood to check out her new apartment, so again I convinced her for another beer.
She gave in and we met. We laughed had a beer but I kept it short, as I knew she was busy, tired, and I assured her it was just a quick beer. I tried to kiss her but she moved her head around and avoided it. Then she gave me the ex-bf story again. I said "look i understand and appreciate your honesty, but i wanted something more so I will move on". She seemed a little hurt by that.

A few minutes later she sent a message saying "thanks for understanding, i hope we can still hang out its quite fun with you". Rather having a cry I simply replied "Hey mate - we were both honest with each other. So lets move on. And be friends anyway. Seriously it never wouldve work anyway". She replied she was very happy with the outcome that we were friends still.

About this girl
-She is very nerdy
-Her english sucks, but we understand each other
-She has had this bf for a long time and recently broke up

I think if a girl "likes" you they never want to be alone - thats bullsh$%. But what started as a "thats a nice first move" has ended up as friends. I have been nice to her for the past for weeks, before that I was a Jerk.

Can I turn this around?

My friend seems to think let it go and she will come around when she sees the chasing has stopped.

I think I wasnt patient enough - and she ran away.

I really want this chick now... And I think it can be saved, but this time in the aplha male way.

Can anyone help? Thanks very much.

Cheers

Greetings Wiseg_7,

First of all.. Good for you making progress on being confident in approaching. You have to know that women just broke off in a relationship (especially that lasts long) have huge boundaries and enormous wall of defense!! So, bear that in mind.. She expects the next person she'll meet is secure and comforting.. You'll NEED to show that you can be adventurous enough... The way I see it it's entirely up to you that is.. Whether you choose to break the ice or, find other new targets and fuck as much as you can..

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Good boys go to heaven, Bad Boys go everywhere.

You're thinking about her far too much, go out tonight to a bar or a club, work a few sets, get a few closes. You'll feel better about yourself.

The thing that's happening to you now is that you're becoming far to caught up with getting this one girl. If you make it look like you have options, she's more likely to try and get your attention. I know what it's like, when there's that one girl that you really like and that's all that matters to you, but I promise you that if you go out more, take some time away from her and just enjoy yourself and meet new people, you'll be fine, and she'll just be a little crush you had for a while.

By all means, don't go out, stay at home and hope that she still likes you, posting on message boards. It's just always worked for me that if I've got one girl playing on my mind, I go out and interact with other girls for a few nights, and I feel pretty good about myself after that, and the girl I was crushing on before has no control over me any more, so it's fine.

Thanks guys

I did go out and did find another girl - 100 times hotter... but this work girl just keeps making me chase her. Like you said having that "one".

We went out a few times, had a great night - but same boyfriend excuse - still sending emails - but on friday when i asked her out again, said no - valid reasons - but still NO. if i like someone i will find the time. A no is a no.

So I gave a email back said look - i asked for a chance, try before you buy, if it doesnt work out well glad we met. And thats it.

As it turns out Im leaving the company on thursday - new project. So she has my number - but ive called the chase off. I need to move on with the new chick i met on Thursday.

Thanks guys, Ill post about the new chick now.

Cheers.