| Went to the mall this afternoon. Walked straight through the bookstore, but once through, noticed a stunning blonde sitting on the floor flipping through some books. I looked at which section she was in. It was Interior Decoration. I went back in to approach.
Me: I just saw you from outside the store and wasn't going to talk to you till I saw what section you're in.
HB: (smiling) oh really?
Me: Are your any good at decorating?
HB: Not exactly, my fiance and I are getting a house soon.
Me: That's cool. I just bought a house 6 months ago myself. Its totally in mint condition cause the bank that owned it remodeled it. The only problem is, its all off white painted with brand new carpet. Its kind of plain.
I then sat on the floor next to her and we talked at length abouth style and color schemes and artwork. Her fiance called her in the midst of this. I told her about all the new top of line stuff I put in my house, just need help with picking out some cool paint to put up. She was stunningly beautiful, yet sooooo friendly.
Me: whats ur #?
HB: why?
Me: so I can call you.
HB: I cant give you that, Im engaged, plus the wedding is next month.
Me: Im not trying to date you, I just trust you to decorate my house like a rockstar.
HB: are you on facebook?
Me: yes, but you cant poke me yet. Youre moving too fast.
She whips her phone out and logs in to FB.
HB: whats your name?
Me: SLIPKNOT
HB: I just sent you a friend request.
Me: Fine, but whatever you do to my house, Ill just blame it on you.
HB: do you have a RAZR too?
Me: mines 4g, but its not pink like urs.
HB: I love droids.
I high five her and then throw in a disqualifier.
Me: you're not one of those rich yuppie chicks are you?
HB: No!! Im just regular.
Me: well your parents do live in Dellwood, so I know youre not broke.
HB: yes, they do, but Im not like that.
Me: do they live next to Jesse Ventura?
(Sidenote, Jesse Ventura is the former governor of MN. He is also known as Jesse "the Body" Ventura from his wrestling days. He lives in a rich ass neighborhood in MN called Dellwood)
HB: no, but my best friend lives next to him.
Me: well thats to bad for her.
HB: (lololols) its definitely interesting.
Me: are you hungry right now?
HB: a little bit.
Me: lets go get some food at Xxxxxxxc
HB: I dont think I have time, my fiance and I are having a double date in like 2 hours.
Me: Fine, but before you decorate and ruin my house, we are getting at least a happy hour and some apps at xxxxxx.
HB: (with enthusiasm) Okay. Nice meeting you SLIPKNOT.
Me: you too, Ill chat at ya soon.
Alright men, I did this with very little effort or AA or anything. But here is the thing. Should I try and escalate and ruin her wedding? Should I just use her to pimp out my house and hook me up with a friend of hers? I think in the long haul she will be better off with the man she is with than me, but what should I do next. We are currently friends on FB?
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CHAT